My goal is to help you create a lifestyle of positivity and possibility. I am smiling!

– Warmly, Honey

HOW FRIENDSHIPS CHANGE IN ADULTHOOD

My Ultimate Concierge and I were out for dinner and my friend asked for the 10th time, “When will you start your in-person group?” For those of you who do not know this about me, I am a fervent believer in women’s groups. My reason behind this is that ‘women need women.’ 

I am somewhat experienced in running an in-person group. Having done so when we lived in California. And I also did an in-home, multigenerational group meetup in Chicago for the New York Times. I am not trained.  I am passionate. But, then darling, I am not professionally trained in anything. I am self-taught and I like it just fine. As I say, I have earned my PhD in life!! 

Deciding on who will be asked to be in my group is the key to its success.

And, I have been thinking… Do I want:

  • A diverse group of women of different ages who I admire for different reasons? 
  • To gather a group of women I admire who are going through the same passage of life? 
  • Women who would come because they are my friend but are not close friends with the other members of the group? 
  • And, do I want to commit myself? 

Over the past several months, I have jotted down lists of names for my group. And, stopped. I never made a call. Until I sat over dinner with this particular friend who always brings the topic up.  

I suppose our conversation over dinner confirms the fact that women love to talk about ‘everything’! As our hubbies chatted we managed to discuss packing, cruising, and travel with adult children. We discussed health, jewelry, women, couples we know, and groups. Of course, we had a four-way conversation between our two-way conversations! After dinner, my Ultimate  Concierge and I  walked home arm in arm mentioning how much we enjoyed the conversation of the evening. 

WEIGHING THE PROS AND CONS

Lying in bed with my Ultimate Concierge and my pooch American breathing softly in my ear, I thought about that conversation. I just love the quiet of the night … I love to just be and let my mind wander where it chooses. It wandered back to her comment … “When will you start your group?” 

I thought: Should I … shouldn’t I? I did not feel my heart leap to a defined, YES! On the other hand, it did not say, no. 

On a positive note, I thought, “I am so happy I can invite women into our home again! No more isolation. No more masks, A group of women gathered monthly in my home would be interesting. What are the pros? What are the cons? 

The only con I could come up with was the time factor. I am so busy, I am dizzy. Adding a woman’s meetup group to my already busy schedule? I sigh as I fall off to sleep.

Over the last several months I have mentioned to women of different ages how they feel about being a part of a woman’s group. They all literally beg me to start a group. They all want to join my group.  Is this a message? 

THE IMPORTANCE OF WOMEN’S GROUPS

A few years ago, with no advertising or fanfare, I started a private Facebook group. It has grown to over 2,000 women. They engage with one another. The women are from America as well as from different parts of the world. I can feel the group getting noticeably closer. And I know that my private group, GRANDwomen with Moxie… where loneliness disappears is becoming a family. Group meetups do add another niche and I believe a welcome dimension to a woman’s life.

Friendships are a different type of relationship than family because we get to choose. You would not go months with no contact with your family but you might go that long without contacting a friend.

Nevertheless, it has been proven how important women’s relationships are to their happiness. Even though friends and acquaintances change there is a consistency in what women want out of them.

I have listened to young girls and someone as old as 100 ( my mom) talk about their female relationships. And, here is what they say, “They want female relationships because they need someone they can depend on, someone to talk to, and someone to enjoy!”  

Sounds good to me! And, I agree with their thinking and my friends as my little heart tells me to start an ingroup meetup at my home. It would be filled with my desire and my intention of giving back while finding personal joy in the experience.

 

I’M READY FOR IN-PERSON

I am now inclined to think that my group will be over the age of  50. Why? Because the tasks that took up so much time are over. They are empty-nesters, retired, possibly alone. And the need for a woman’s group that will bring stimulation and enjoyment becomes very important once again. 

A woman has the time to prioritize what experiences will make her happy and joyful in the moment. The newness of a group of women has its ability to arouse her thoughts by listening to her peers. 

As I write my musings now, the following morning, I think of the ways women communicate on different platforms with other women. Emails. Texting. Snapchat, etc. These are all digital means and they work to a degree. Social Media makes it possible to maintain more friendships but shallowly. It is a life support system.

Obviously, the best and most joyful way is… to see each other in person.

A group of women meeting once a month is a nice detour from, “we have this to do, we have to do that.” Joining a group by choice is a lovely experience. And, the rewards are countless. This is my sunny side of the street view. 

Once again, I will go over my list. I have a list of 16.  And now, I am glad I wrote this story because it has taken me one step further into … starting my group in my home. I know one person who will be very happy … !!!!  

Have you gotten back to an in-person group? Please share with me in the comments. 

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6 Comments
  1. We have a friends group that just re-started meeting in person for dinner and conversation. Our ages range in the 50’s-70’s. Some still work while some are retired. We call it our “girls night out”. The conversation flows, and we come away feeling energized. Women do need women, for friendship and support.

    1. Lucky you!!!! I think multigenerational groups are great. You are fortunate to find your niche. Warmly, Honey

  2. I would love to be part of a women’s group. Living in Chicago , I’m sure there are some, but no idea where or how to join! It always feels so good for the soul after a visit, or dinner with friends. There’s something magical about a group.

    1. Where do you live? You can join my private Facebook Group, GRANDwomen with Moxie. They women really engage. Also, a church group, a card or movie group, a few of your friends that ask their friends will make a group. If you put in the time you can organize your own group. It can be your goal. Start is very small and grow but keep it at 10 or less. Warmly, Honey

  3. Hi!! Love the idea of a women’s group once a month!
    What do you advise- free flowing conversation or do you start with a set topic each month members prepare for?
    What are the “ rules” of a successful group you set- if any?
    Do you lead or does or work well for anyone at any given moment to open a conversation ?
    Love you and all you create!
    Adriana

    1. I start with a set topic (2) and the conversation is free flowing. The rules are: a once a month commitment. A defined time and place. Two hour time limit. I also leave time for the girls to seek help from the group with a problem. I lead. Go for it. Warmly, Honey

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