Do you know how to cultivate personal happiness? After all, darlings, there is only one you!
You know you are at the stage in life when you probably have the time to indulge yourself. Do you feel you are egotistical, self-centered or self- absorbed if you take your time to smell ‘the roses?’ I think many women feel trapped in their lifestyle after they are greater than 50. I don’t, because my mother and other women were my role models; they knew how to cultivate personal happiness, at times, against all the odds.
I watched, listened and learned from them. For those of you who did not have a role model and feel trapped and anxious to indulge in yourself, maybe I can lend a helping hand. Remember, you are greater after 50. Remember, you have MOXIE! I am convinced every woman does.
HOW I INDULGE MYSELF
I indulge myself in showering love on my ultimate concierge and my pooch, America.
I pamper myself by soaking in a hot bath on a cold day and munching on popcorn and binge-watching two or more seasons on Netflix or Amazon Prime with my ultimate concierge.
I indulge myself in building relationships with women of all ages and forming women’s groups. I indulge myself, every day, a must, with nature.
I indulge myself exploring the world while watching National Geographic, and when I can, I hop on a plane and travel anywhere and everywhere. I indulge myself in sentimentality and empathy for all things large and small. I hang out with happy and interesting people. I avoid toxic people and unhappy people (unless someone needs me).
I ‘dare myself to dare.’ I indulge myself by speaking my mind and reaching for the stars even when I am afraid because I feel satisfaction and pride. As a woman greater than 50, I am fearless walking out the door in the newest fashion or coolest color of red lipstick. I have earned the title of a woman with MOXIE! and so have you.
Why? Because at our age we are beautiful blooming flowers. We are no longer rosebuds. We know what makes us tick. I know that you know what makes your heart sing. So I want you to indulge yourself in your dreams and goals, so you lead an emotionally charmed life.
ASK YOURSELF WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
Everybody has their own feelings of joy. No two women are alike. Therefore, I am asking you to pull out your pad and paper and answer the two questions below.
1. What are five things in your life that give you joy that you are not doing now?
2. What changes are you able to make that will improve your lifestyle?
WHAT I THINK HOLDS WOMEN BACK
1. We learned as little girls how to indulge others. We took care of our dollies. We watched our mothers cater to our father, our siblings, other family members and us. We were given an A+ by our mothers as the caregivers of others. Those are good reasons we continue to place ourselves on the back burner. We indulge in other’s needs over our own because we continue to think it is a selfish act to put ourselves first. Wrong!
2. Many of you have pigeonholed yourselves, trapped yourself, in your relationships with your adult children. You have allowed yourself to be constant caregivers to them and your grands. Everything in moderation should be your rule of thumb. You should give love to them and take the time to love yourself.
3. Maybe you continue to say ‘yes’ to your extended family and many friends when you want to say, ‘no.’ Learn to say no. I know it takes courage. You will be respected for voicing your feelings. It will be refreshing, and you will feel powerful in taking a stand.
4. You are afraid to venture out. This is not a weakness. It is natural to have mixed feelings when we change course. Add the word, desire, to your vocabulary.
THERE IS ONLY…ONE YOU SO RELISH IN YOURSELF
Maybe you might consider joining BEMOXIENOW my private online networking group. You will learn what other women are talking about and thinking about by joining a MOXIE! group, or starting your own group on the private network. Newfound Honey Good women will enter into your life. Or…
You can make a monthly appointment for a pedicure.
You can make a weekly appointment for a manicure.
You can treat yourself to a massage.
You can start going to the movies or join a book club.
You can change your hairstyle.
You can plan a summer trip with your grands.
You can plan a summer trip with girlfriends or your spouse or your significant other or go solo.
You can bring home a new pet.
You can become a volunteer.
You can read.
You can give a party.
You can add new accessories to your wardrobe or your home.
You can take a course in how to handle money after 50.
You can go back to college.
You can reconnect with old childhood friends.
I could go on and on. Write down ‘your’ five joys. Write down your five ‘needs’ that are attainable and will add more joy to your life. Question yourself. Question your motives. Live into your answer. I assure you, it will work. If you will work…it will work.
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