Do you know how to show yourself love and cultivate personal happiness? There is only one you after all, don’t you deserve to be adored?

Darlings, you are at the stage in life when you probably have the time to indulge yourself. Do you feel you are egotistical, self-centered or self- absorbed if you take your time to “smell the roses?”

Many women feel trapped in their lifestyle after they are greater than 50. I don’t, because my mother and other women were my role models; they knew how to cultivate personal happiness, at times, against all the odds.

I watched, listened and learned from them. For those of you who did not have a role model and feel trapped and anxious to indulge in yourself, maybe I can lend a helping hand. Remember, you have MOXIE! Every woman does.

How I Indulge in Self Love

Showering love on my ultimate concierge and my pooch, America brings me great satisfaction.

I pamper myself by soaking in a hot bath on a cold day and munching on popcorn and binge-watching two or more seasons on Netflix or Amazon Prime with my ultimate concierge. During these moments, I truly enjoy my own company and appreciate the peace it brings.

My soul is soothed when I am building relationships with women of all ages and forming women’s groups.

Exploring nature every day is a balm.

I indulge myself exploring the world while watching National Geographic, and when I can, I hop on a plane and indulge in my wanderlust. Sentimentality and empathy for all things large and small brings me joy. The positive effects of these self-indulgent practices can often be felt almost immediately. I hang out with happy and interesting people and toxic and unhappy people (unless someone needs me).

I ‘dare myself to dare.’ I feel empowered by speaking my mind and reaching for the stars even when I am afraid, acknowledging that fear is a natural part of the self-love journey and facing it helps me grow. As a woman greater than 50, I am fearless walking out the door in the newest fashion or hottest color of red lipstick. I have earned the title of a woman with MOXIE! and so have you. In these moments, I treat myself as my own best friend, offering encouragement and support.

Why? Because at our age we are beautiful blooming flowers. We are no longer rosebuds. We know what makes us tick. You know what makes your heart sing. Indulge yourself in your dreams and goals, embrace your uniqueness and desires, so you lead an emotionally charmed life, feel good, and show yourself love.

ASK YOURSELF WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

Everybody has something that brings feelings of joy. Without a doubt, no two women are alike. Therefore, I want you to pull out your pad and paper and answer the two questions below. Remember, finding balance between caring for others and yourself is essential for your well-being.

1. What are five things in your life that give you joy that you are not doing now?2. What changes are you able to make that will improve your lifestyle?

2. What changes are you able to make that will improve your lifestyle?

WHAT I THINK HOLDS WOMEN BACK

1. AS LITTLE GIRLS WE LEARNED HOW TO INDULGE OTHERS.

We took care of our dollies and watched our mothers cater to our father, our siblings, other family members, and us. We were given an A+ by our mothers as the caregivers of others. Those are good reasons we continue to place ourselves on the back burner. We indulge in other’s needs over our own because we continue to think it is a selfish act to put ourselves first. Wrong! You deserve to show yourself love.

2. IDENTIFYING OURSELVES BY OUR RELATIONSHIPS.

Many of you have pigeonholed yourselves, and are identifying yourself by your relationships with your adult children. You have allowed yourself to be constant caregivers to them and your grands. Everything in moderation should be your rule of thumb. You should give love to them and but prioritize the time to love yourself.

3. NEVER LEARNING TO SAY “NO” AND ITS IMPACT ON SELF ESTEEM

Maybe you continue to say ‘yes’ to your extended family and friends when what you really want to say is a resounding, ‘no.’ Learn to say no. I know it takes courage. You will be respected for voicing your feelings. It will be refreshing, and you will feel powerful in taking a stand.

4. YOU ARE AFRAID TO VENTURE OUT.

This is not a weakness. It is natural to have mixed feelings when we change course. Focus on the reason you want to explore the unknown, and add the word, desire, to your vocabulary.

CULTIVATING SELF COMPASSION

Why kindness to yourself is the first step to true indulgence.

Darling, if you truly want to indulge yourself, start by embracing self-compassion. So often, we are our own harshest critics, letting negative self-talk and self-doubt chip away at our self-esteem. But practicing self love means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a dear friend. When you make a mistake or face a difficult moment, remind yourself that everyone stumbles—what matters is how gently you hold yourself in those times.

Self-compassion is the foundation of emotional well-being and a strong sense of self-worth. By accepting your strengths and weaknesses with an open heart, you nurture self acceptance and create space for personal happiness. This gentle attitude helps to quiet the voice of low self esteem and supports your mental health, making it easier to weather life’s storms. Studies in positive psychology and mental wellness show that self-compassion is linked to lower anxiety and depression, and a greater sense of overall well being. When you practice self compassion, you build a healthier, more loving relationship with yourself—one that supports you through every chapter of your life.

Simple ways to practice self-compassion daily.

Incorporating self-compassion into your daily life doesn’t have to be complicated. Start by writing down three things you appreciate about yourself each day—perhaps your resilience, your sense of humor, or your ability to listen. This simple habit shifts your focus from self-criticism to self-acceptance, helping you recognize your unique strengths.

Mindfulness is another powerful tool for self compassion. Take a few quiet moments each day to check in with your feelings, without judgment. This self awareness allows you to respond to your needs with care, rather than pushing them aside. Remember, setting healthy boundaries and honoring your personal needs is not a bad thing—it’s an act of self respect and self care that supports your happiness and well being.

You might also dedicate time to small self care rituals, like enjoying a cup of tea, reading a favorite book, or simply pausing to breathe deeply. These moments of self loving attention remind you that you are worthy of kindness and compassion, every single day. By making self-compassion a regular practice, you nurture a more positive relationship with yourself, bringing more joy and balance into your everyday life.

PRACTICING SELF AWARENESS

THERE IS ONLY ONE YOU, SHOW YOURSELF LOVE AND SELF COMPASSION

Maybe you might consider joining Celebrate Life, my private online networking group. You will learn what other women are talking about and thinking about. Or, practice self love through intentional daily actions by incorporating some of these practices that support self-love:

• Make a monthly appointment for a pedicure or manicure as part of your self care routine
• Treat yourself to a massage
• Start going to the movies or join a book club—these are great self help resources for personal growth
• Change your hairstyle, nurturing your material self and expressing your individuality
• Plan a summer trip with your grands, girlfriends, your spouse or significant other, or go solo. You may even want to join me on a travel adventure. Learn more here.
• Bring home a new pet
• Become a volunteer
• Read a new book, focusing on self help and personal development
• Throw a party for any reason at all
• Add new accessories to your wardrobe or your home that bring you joy and support your material self
• Take a course in how to handle money after 50
• Go back to college for the sake of learning
• Reconnect with old childhood friends

How do you show love for yourself? How do you take care of you? Please share your thoughts with me in the comments section below.

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