By Gail Stone.

I believe one vehicle to success is hearing what successful people and leaders have to say. They do not have to be famous. I’ve been known to say that once you become a “leader of yourself,” you have the ability to lead others. The following quote is not from a famous woman. She is a long-time colleague of mine and a leader in the hospitality industry, owning and operating her own restaurant.

“When it’s important, you want to block out the time.”– K. Sullivan

Spending quality time together means putting aside distractions—turning off the phone, closing the laptop, and focusing on the moment you share. Giving your full attention and being focused during these moments is essential.

By making an effort to be present, we help our loved ones feel valued, deepening our connections and enriching our lives. Showing love through quality time demonstrates care and affection in a meaningful way.

When we prioritize quality time, we nurture emotional bonds, foster mutual understanding, and create lasting memories that strengthen our relationships. This helps us feel closer to each other and builds a foundation of trust and intimacy.

Read Honey’s story on the complexities of female friendships and why they’re worth it

Introduction to Quality Time

Quality time is at the heart of every meaningful relationship, whether with family, friends, or partners. In our busy lives, it’s easy to lose sight of how important it is to be fully present with our loved ones. Spending quality time together means putting aside distractions—turning off the phone, closing the laptop, and focusing on the moment you share. It’s about engaging in meaningful conversations, enjoying shared hobbies, or simply sitting together and connecting. When we prioritize quality time, we nurture emotional bonds, foster mutual understanding, and create lasting memories that strengthen our relationships. Whether it’s a quiet evening at home or a fun outing with friends, the time spent together is what truly matters. By making an effort to be present, we show our loved ones that they are valued, deepening our connections and enriching our lives.

The Value and Meaning of Quality Time

Years ago, these words first rang true to me (and still do). Ms. Sullivan explained why, with her enormously busy schedule as the owner of a popular restaurant on New Year’s Eve, she blocked out time to take me to lunch. It was at a time when I was in need and I was very touched and grateful. Though we had worked together in our industry for over 25 years, I don’t think we ever had a personal or meaningful conversation until that afternoon.

As a result of this experience and her quote, I have embarked upon a mission to make people more aware of the value of quality time. Generally, it is only possible when you block out the time, because engaged people, like us, are busy! If a friend hasn’t reached out lately, leaving you feeling slighted, don’t take it personally, it’s always best to take the high road and make the first move!

So what does quality time refer to? Spending quality time means you are giving your undivided attention to someone, they are your only focus! A half-hour of time spent truly devoted to another person (or handful of people) is worth more than hours of meaningless or shallow interactions. Planning intentional activities, such as cooking together or sharing a hobby, can make quality time even more meaningful and memorable.

It’s particularly important to block out quality time with the people who matter most in your life. Recently, my niece and her husband of 15 years came to visit Chicago and we had planned for about a month to set aside time to spend together. Spending time together in this intentional way really emphasized how important it is to make room in our busy lives for those we care about. We did this when she visited about five years ago and it was the first time in almost 40 years we had set aside time for one another. But in just one hour of quality time, my niece, her son and I all became so close and we have been able to maintain that for the last few years. It really is truly special. This is the true meaning of quality time! Intentional partner quality time, like this, can truly strengthen relationships and deepen emotional bonds.

Now, this time around, because I was able to give my undivided attention, I was able to get to know the wonderful man that is her husband. I’m so grateful for that opportunity! This all happened because we prioritized “blocking out the time.”

Understanding and practicing your partner’s love language, especially if their primary love language is quality time, is essential for building a strong emotional connection and increasing relationship satisfaction.

Understanding Love Languages

The way we express and receive love can be as unique as we are, and that’s where the concept of love languages comes in. Introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman, love languages help us understand the different ways people show and feel affection. The five primary love languages are quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, and physical touch. Knowing your own love language—and your partner’s—can transform your relationship, making it easier to meet each other’s needs. For many, quality time is the love language that speaks loudest. This means that uninterrupted time together, free from distractions, is the most meaningful way to receive love. By recognizing and honoring each other’s love languages, especially quality time, we can build emotional intimacy and create a more fulfilling connection with our loved ones. It’s all about making the effort to spend time in ways that matter most to those we care about.

Quality Time Love Language

For some, nothing says “I love you” more than time spent together. If quality time is your primary love language, you feel most cherished when your partner gives you their undivided attention. This doesn’t require grand gestures—sometimes, the most meaningful moments are the simplest ones: a heartfelt conversation, a walk in the park, or sharing a favorite movie. What matters is being fully present, setting aside distractions, and focusing on each other. When partners prioritize quality time, they nurture a deep emotional connection and a sense of belonging. It’s not about how many hours you spend together, but the quality of those moments. By making time for each other and being truly present, you strengthen your relationship and create a lasting emotional bond that helps both partners feel loved and valued.

Quality Time With Family

Most people struggle to find enough time for family, often juggling busy schedules and competing priorities. As you are visiting this wonderful site, I want to take a moment to emphasize the importance of spending quality time with your grandchildren. They are our future, and time is precious — please don’t miss those opportunities! One-on-one time with your grandchildren, giving them your undivided attention, could be the most valuable time you ever spend. If you don’t make this time, your loved ones may feel neglected and unimportant.

Being a “grand aunt,” not a grandmother, I embody this philosophy for myself as well. Last year I made a commitment to block out the time for my grand nieces and nephews and spend quality time. I generally just see them at family gatherings with a quick hug and on to the next. I wanted to get to know them better, create a deeper bond and lasting memories. Enjoying hobbies together, like baking or playing games, has helped us create special moments that we all cherish. Finding a shared hobby with family members can be a wonderful way to connect and strengthen relationships. And you know what’s so exciting? In the process, not only do we have a great time, we also learn from each other. That is another value of quality time. Family reunions and gatherings are wonderful, but it’s that one-on-one time that really allows you to get to know a person. Quality time can also be spent during other activities, such as running errands or taking walks, not just at traditional gatherings.

As a teacher for over 50 years, I’m going to give you two assignments. One is to think of a time in your life when you blocked out time to get to know someone better, and it made a huge difference in that relationship. The second is to think of the meaningful people in your life and choose someone – or even a pair/couple – for whom you want to block out quality time for and get to know better. A quiet meal tends to serve well for these engagements and time spent together.

Effective Communication During Quality Time

Quality time is most powerful when paired with open, honest communication. When you set aside time for your partner, make it count by being fully present—listen actively, maintain eye contact, and ask thoughtful, open-ended questions. These meaningful conversations help you understand each other’s feelings, dreams, and concerns, deepening your emotional connection. Regular date nights, shared activities, and intentional conversations are wonderful ways to prioritize quality time and keep your relationship strong. By focusing on your partner and creating a safe space for open communication, you help them feel heard, valued, and truly connected. Remember, it’s not just about being in the same room—it’s about being present in the same moment, sharing your thoughts and experiences, and building a foundation of trust and understanding.

Think You Don’t Have Time for Quality Time?

In our hectic lives, it can be difficult to prioritize quality time with loved ones.

A perfect example of this happened to me a few years ago. I put together a University of Michigan sorority reunion. A “sister” asked if she could stay with me. I would have preferred to be alone as I had a lot of responsibility that weekend and wasn’t feeling well, but I would never have told her “no.” It was great! We stayed up late two nights in a row giggling in bed like college days. It was the first time in 50 years that I had taken the time to get to know this very special woman! It was a wonderful experience to share such quality time with her, and as a result, we remain dear friends to this day! Spending intentional, meaningful time together like this can truly strengthen relationships.

Please keep this concept of blocking out quality time with you throughout your lives. It will serve you well, and have a positive impact in your life and in the lives of others. Don’t forget the importance of making time for those you care about, even when life gets busy. Block out quality time to be with someone you’ve cared about, but never really knew who they are or what they’re all about. You’ll become quite enlightened about a very special person. Each of us has value – something special and unique. People just have to spend some quality time to get to know us!

Who are you going to block out quality time for now!?

Making time for quality time is essential for building and maintaining a healthy relationship.

— Gail

Navigating Long Distance: Making Quality Time Work Apart

Long distance relationships come with their own set of challenges, but with a little creativity and effort, you can still prioritize quality time and keep your emotional connection strong. Even when you can’t be physically present, technology offers wonderful ways to stay connected—regular video calls, scheduled check-ins, and shared online activities can help bridge the gap. Make the most of your time together by planning virtual date nights, watching a movie simultaneously, or playing an online game. The key is to be intentional with your time, focusing on each other and sharing your lives, even from afar. By prioritizing quality time, you show your partner that they matter, helping to maintain a sense of closeness and togetherness despite the distance. With effort and commitment, long distance relationships can thrive, and the time you spend connecting will make your bond even stronger.

Honey’s Thoughts on the Quality Time Love Language With Your Partner

How wonderful to read over this story from my dear friend, Gail. She is the reason that I met my Ultimate Concierge! Over the years I’ve written on the subject of quality time spent with your partner. As a matter of fact, I did a series of sex and this post on the importance of communication with your partner speaks to the fact that quality time is a love language. How do you view spending quality time in a romantic relationship? Having high-quality moments on a date night enjoying each other’s company? Quality time is essential in romantic relationships, as it strengthens emotional bonds and deepens intimacy.

When you make the effort to put each other first and show true interest in your partner’s life, you’ll see that your relationship blossoms compared to when you just go through the motions. Understanding your partner’s needs and preferences is key to nurturing a strong connection. Spending intentional quality time helps your partner feel loved, valued, and emotionally secure.

For more tips on maintaining a close relationship with your partner, read Honey on Sex: Birds Do It… Bees Do It, Let’s Stay in Love, and this important post rounding out my series on sex, How to Move Forward When You’re No Longer Having Sex. If you find that quality time is lacking, consider seeking guidance from a marriage counselor to help strengthen your bond.

What if you’re in a long-distance relationship? If that’s the case, you may have to work harder than ever to keep the passion alive, but it can be done, darlings! First of all, be sure that when you are able to speak, be in on the phone or over a video call, that you prioritize deep conversations, and not just, “What did you do today?” Spend a few hours a week with distraction-free time and focus on your partner exclusively. When the distance gets tough, talk to your partner and draw on your emotional connection. Find ways to build memories even from a far spending quality time together. Without regular quality time, emotional distance can develop and weaken your relationship.

Sharing the same love language with your partner can make communication and connection even more fulfilling, as both partners feel appreciated and understood.

Quality time together increases relationship satisfaction and helps couples maintain a healthy, lasting partnership.

Building memories together is a wonderful way to connect and strengthen your relationship. Whether it’s a special date night or a simple walk, these moments help you truly connect with your partner.

Planning date nights or activities is a wonderful way to spend quality time and keep your relationship vibrant. Remember to keep things fun and spontaneous to add excitement and joy to your time together.

If you’re curious about your love language, take a free quiz to discover more about yourself and how you can improve your connection with your partner.

Now do you understand the meaning of quality time? What’s your number one obstacle when it comes to quality time? Please share in the comments, I’d love to help you!

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