I'm Honey!

As a woman who has lived through many passages and learned through my larger than life experiences (positive and negative), I’ve discovered how to take a big empowering bite out of life.

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female friendships after 50 can be complex

There is an old but sad proverb, “Friendships come and friendships go.” And that may be true, but I believe female friendships are always worth it. Even the brief ones teach us something and add to our lives.

I enjoy my eclectic group of female friends. You know, darlings, it takes time to build a friendship. Because one has to understand the emotional psyche of a woman. We come in a complex and complicated package. Complex is putting it mildly because we want emotional intimacy. But it often becomes tricky and perplexing because of the thinking patterns of women.


I have learned that the survival rate of friendships depends on their similarity. In other words the closer the woman is to my way of thinking the better the chance it has of permanency. If one of my friends disappoints me or vice versa, my goal is to have an open conversation to fix what I don’t want broken.

It is very important to let down your guard when you care. Vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Try not to let your insecurities silence you. Personally, I have no qualms about showing my vulnerable side. This has boded me well.

Remember it is never too late to pick up the phone to reconnect with a lost friend. After the age of 50 you have the time.



Many women pass through our lives. A select few have become near and dear. While many others have become wonderful acquaintances. In every relationship, there is a chance of misunderstandings and aggravations. People are people and relationships can be difficult.

I recall two friendships that were saved because we let down our barriers and showed our vulnerable side. I am glad. Two very different stories. Two very different lessons.



My friend and I have enjoyed each other’s company. This includes evenings spent with our husbands. A few years ago we made plans for dinner and a concert. Another friend of mine asked at the last minute to join us. I did not mention this to my friend. Instead, I immediately agreed. After that evening, I felt our friendship cool.

When she saw me, she would give me a kiss hello but she never picked up the phone to call. I did not call. Summer ended and we left Chicago for our home in California. Over the winter we did not communicate.

Upon our return to Chicago, one evening my Ultimate Concierge and I ran into our friends. Our husbands were very friendly but I felt the chill in the air.

Her friendship mattered so I called her and over the phone asked what was bothering her. She was very open and her honesty made me happy. She told me that something was bothering her, but that she didn’t want to talk about it on the phone.

I said, “Let’s meet and talk.”

She replied, “Fine.” That is how she talks. When she used clipped words I got her gist. I was puzzled and looked forward to our meeting. But, I’ll admit, it was with trepidation. Why trepidation? She is a very strong woman!!


We met and had a heart-to-heart. She shared what upset her. It had nothing to do with inviting another couple. What upset her was a comment my other friend made that I happened to agree with. By the way, I still do agree with my other friend.

I was truly shocked by my friend’s evaluation of my other friend’s comment and to my response. I felt and still feel she took it to extremes. Nevertheless, I validated her feelings while trying to make her understand my point of view.

We have continued our very close friendship because I opened the door and she was open to a discussion. I respect her for her willingness to converse. If she did not care she would have shut the door in my face. I know her ‘attitude!’ We both allowed our vulnerability to save our friendship. We are closer today than ever.


Women pride themselves on the degree to which they will allow another into their personal thoughts. When they do allow this, it gives them a greater connection into the details of each other’s lives.

Some women prefer to stay close to the chest with their true thoughts. However doing so, they miss out on the opportunity to have an honest exchange. In these instances, female friendships do not have much of a chance of surviving. Our friendship was tested. Obviously, my friend needed to vent. I wanted to listen. Our willingness to take the time to meet was a silent message, we cared. I am smiling.


emailing to repair a female friendship


It takes a lot for me to say, “I am done.” There was a friendship that had highs and lows over several years. I decided my friend’s last comment was the last straw. After reasoning with myself, I sat down to write an email that would end our friendship. I was, DONE!

But I wasn’t! Isn’t changing our minds a woman prerogative, darling? Of course it is. That is what makes us interesting!

Several months after I told her I was ending our friendship, I was going through files and found an email from her  that was 19 years old! I was glad.

I sat down and wrote this email:

Dear Girlfriend,

For the past month, I have been redoing my file cabinet folders. I am not a paper saver except for certain sentimental ones.

You sent me an article in an email, ” I Wish You Enough.” I found it as I was meandering through my stash of papers. Thank you for sending it to me 19 years ago.

In reflection, I owe you an apology and I hope you will find it in your heart to accept it.

When you wrote to me several months ago apologizing to me I should have been gracious. I should have accepted your kind words. I am sorry for my actions.

Words count, especially the written word, and your manner of expression finally touched a negative nerve in me. I just did not want to be chastised any longer the way you chastise.

In reflection I understand that this is you. And if we are to be friends and I hope this happens, I will try to overlook your comments and I hope you can be gentler with me.

I believe in fate. I believe finding the email you sent to me 19 years ago was a positive message to rekindle our friendship. And I hope you agree.

I look forward to hearing from you.

In friendship,


My girlfriend’s reply:

Dear Susan,

Thank you for your heartfelt letter.

We are living through turbulent times. (2+years of Covid – social isolation- masks-political unrest-war-and seeing loved ones face terrible health issues.)

Life is short and carrying a grudge is not healthy.

We have shared a lot of fun times and memories together.

Time to put the past misunderstandings behind us and begin anew.

I hope you will play Mah Jong and canasta with us this summer. We return from Palm Springs at the end of May.

Forever in friendship.


Vulnerability is powerful in female friendships. In my mind, it is a sign of courage. Many women think vulnerability is a weakness, it is a positive strength.

I have come to know myself better and feel empowered because I am authentic with my feelings. The greatest friend is an authentic friend. I am smiling!


I genuinely love spending time and sharing information with my friends. You are all my online friends and I delight in writing my stories for you. I treasure my online and offline female friendships and there is nothing I would not do for a friend.

After the age of 50, we have time to nurture our female friendships and welcome new women into our lives. I will try and nurture an old friendship and I have already welcomed a new friendship into my life.

Have you ever said goodbye to a friendship? Have you ever later changed your mind? Please share in the comments! I would love to hear your story.

Darling, be the first to read every story. Join my email list to have every story to your inbox.


September 6, 2023


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  1. Joyce Artz says:

    I loved your stories about your friends. It reminded me of old friends, especially one most recently in the last month that I had lost contact with. She died suddenly over a year ago and I did not know until recently. I believe one must always forgive hurt and not let pride get in the way. By the way, please show a picture of your new LV. I am anxious to see the style.

  2. SoCal Allison says:

    Wow. Your words today really resonated with me. ” I just did not want to be chastised any longer the way you chastise.” That is what I wish to say to my only sister. She is always negative. I think she finds it hard to complement anyone without a barb attached to it, sorry to say. As her younger sister, she feels open to “let loose” at me over the phone because I am a safe haven for her. Last year she reduced me to tears with her string of vitriol aimed at me. And no, she was not justified in what she said. She wanted to vent and not take responsibility for her own actions but blame them all on me. Yes, I am the easy-going one, the one who calms the waters, who compromises. But everything is tit-for-tat with her, and I did not have it in me to give anymore. So, as she told me, the ball is in my court to communicate now with her. She prefers by phone. We have text messaged and emailed, but I have not phoned since Christmas 2021. There is a time difference to account for and my erratic working schedule. I also prefer to call home phones, not cells, and she travels a lot, so her cell is best for her. I know I will eventually call but when even emails and texts are responded to with barbs, it is easier to put off calling. Maybe someday.

    • Honey Good says:

      She sounds like an unhappy and sarcastic woman. My advice to you is this: Follow your heart. It knows how you feel. If you reunite, set your standard. Not her standards. Give her an ultimatum, kindly, but an ultimatum. Warmly, Honey

  3. /Sandrala says:

    I have cut off 2 friendships that I can think of ….. One was a girlfriend who would not stop lying to me about her relationship with a boyfriend. The other was with a girlfriend who told me she could no longer trust me due to my thoughtless comment to her while I was in a manic episode; I gave up on the friendship. After a long rest, we are renewing our friendship via email so far.

  4. Peggy Frieden says:

    I have only ever ended 2 friendships, and coincidentally they were for the same reason. My precious daughter had been tragically killed in a car accident at age 18. 2 different women, who had been long time friends, basically ignored my pain after the obligatory offer of sentiments immediately after the accident. One of them invited me out to brunch, and talked exclusively about herself and her recent accomplishments, until we were headed out the door and she asked “How are you doing?” Not too well!
    The other said to me, much later, “I saw you had so many friends around you so I thought you were taken care of.” But that didn’t mean I didn’t want someone who was supposed to be my closest friends with me also! I wrote them both a very similar letter explaining my hurt. One apologized by
    return letter, & then proceeded to explain what was going on with her at the time, and made it all about her again. The other simply told a mutual friend “Well, if she wants to be mad, the let her be mad.” Needless to say, those women are no longer in my contact list, or in my life, and I have not suffered for it.

    • Susan Good says:

      I am sending you my condolences on the loss of your child. I am sorry at a time of great loss your two long time friends disappointed you. They are no loss. Your action was your gain. A woman of substance would have said, “I am here to listen to you.” I am sure you are that type woman and I am glad you are in my ‘hive,’ so to speak. Warmly, Honey

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