Day in and day out we negotiate. We even negotiate with ourselves. When you think about a woman’s life, negotiations of all types occur every single day. From a young age, we begin to learn the art of negotiation: the art of having discussions with the aim of reaching an amenable outcome. Unfortunately, mutually-beneficial agreements are often not achieved. Why is this?
I always wished for a sister. As a little girl, I observed the love between my mother and her sister. They spoke daily. I would hear them laughing and whispering and sometimes arguing, then forgiving each other and then laughing once again. They were fabulous role models. I learned the meaning of loyalty, forgiveness, joy as well as empathy from these incredible women.
But that has not resulted in a life that’s free of conflict for me. On the contrary, I have had my share of angst and I am almost certain you have too. I have learned many things the hard way and I am still learning. If you are honest with yourself, so are you.
The Varied Relationships Between Women
Why do many conflicts arise between people who are kind, loving individuals? Why is it that what we say is often not what is perceived when, more often than not, we simply want to understand one another?
Girlfriends offer so much. In the analogy of life, girlfriends are the equivalent of sugar. We laugh together, give each other advice on every womanly topic under the sun, share stories during fun evenings together and even have our own language.
On the darker side, I have witnessed a fair share of relationships that were mostly spice, which is not very nice. These glances and rapid-fire remarks have been directed to other women as well as to myself. These can all transpire in a few seconds–as quickly as a look!
So I did some research and found that sociologists and psychologists agree on this fact: females tend to be judgmental from a young age. Young girls learn early on to gossip, form cliques, and turn on one another!
And it only gets worse as they get older. I read over 60% of working women are bullied by other women in the workplace. These are all part of the not-so-nice characteristics of women. The schooled authorities do not have an answer.
The Value of Girlfriends
Darlings, I think friendships with women are checkered. I have had women in my life do the most unexpectedly extraordinary and marvelous things for me. I have, on the other hand, felt betrayed and disillusioned. These experiences filled me with both sugar and negative spice, which left me feeling conflicted.
But that was then and this is now. I have come to terms with women and the first important fact is: I realize the value of having my girlfriends. Without the chitter-chatter and the back-and-forth banter with them, I would be lost. We depend on each other; I need them just as much as they need me.
This is my healthy prescription for how to find the sugar with female friends. First and foremost, you must realize your own value. Secondly, you should reach out and acquire new friends who share those values.
Now you are on your way, darlings!
Communication Strategies To Try
The next step I call “shedding unwanted emotional weight”. Say goodbye to the toxic relationships in your life, even if those include female friendships! And remember: don’t expect too much and you won’t be disappointed. Girlfriends have so much on their plate as do you, so be flexible.
You want your friendships to be solid and meaningful. This requires your effort.
If there was a friendship you valued that went astray, mend your bridges wherever possible.
If someone hurts you and asks for your forgiveness, I hope you will forgive them if the infraction is forgivable.
Do something good today: call your girlfriends and tell them you are glad they are in your life.
Darlings, will you hold yourself accountable and call one of your girlfriends to let her know how much you value her? I’m sure it would make her day and it would certainly make mine, knowing that another relationship somewhere in the world is strengthened. Let me know what she says in the comments below or on Facebook.