The best relationships always have a communication strategy.

Day in and day out we negotiate. We even negotiate with ourselves. When you think about a woman’s life, negotiations of all types occur every single day. From a young age, we begin to learn the art of negotiation: the art of having discussions with the aim of reaching an amenable outcome. Unfortunately, mutually-beneficial agreements are often not achieved. Why is this?

Does healthy communication encompass both verbal and nonverbal cues essential for sharing thoughts and feelings? It plays a critical role in fostering close relationships and involves turn-taking in conversations and being present, which contributes to meaningful exchanges.

I always wished for a sister. As a little girl, I observed the love between my mother and her sister. They spoke daily. I would hear them laughing and whispering and sometimes arguing, then forgiving each other and then laughing once again. They were fabulous role models. I learned the meaning of loyalty, forgiveness, and joy as well as empathy from these incredible women.

But that has not resulted in a life that’s free of conflict for me. On the contrary, I have had my share of angst and I am almost certain you have too. I have learned many things the hard way and I am still learning. If you are honest with yourself, so are you. Mutual understanding is crucial in navigating these conflicts, as it helps in finding solutions that satisfy both parties.

If you know someone who would find value in this story, please share it with them! This is the highest compliment you can pay me, darling. It means the world.

Introduction to Effective Communication

Effective communication is the foundation of any successful relationship, whether personal or professional. It involves the ability to convey thoughts, feelings, and ideas in a clear and concise manner, while also being able to listen and understand the other person’s perspective. Clear communication is crucial for building trust and ensuring that personal values and goals are shared. Good communication skills are essential for building trust, resolving conflicts, and maintaining healthy relationships. Better communication plays a key role in improving overall relationship outcomes by fostering a deeper connection and understanding. When we communicate effectively, we create a bridge of understanding that allows us to connect on a deeper level with those around us. In this section, we will explore the importance of effective communication and provide tips on how to communicate effectively.

The Varied Relationships Between Women

Why do many conflicts arise between people who are kind, loving individuals? Why is it that what we say is often not what is perceived when, more often than not, we simply want to understand one another? Effective communication relies on fostering a two-way conversation where both parties actively listen and engage.

Girlfriends offer so much. In the analogy of life, girlfriends are the equivalent of sugar. We laugh together, give each other advice on every topic under the sun, share stories during fun evenings together and even have our own language.

Mutual respect plays a crucial role in resolving conflicts and understanding each other. Approaching discussions with a constructive attitude and a willingness to understand different perspectives fosters mutual respect, which is essential for successful interactions in relationships.

On the darker side, I have witnessed a fair share of relationships that were mostly spice, which is not very nice. These glances and rapid-fire remarks have been directed to other women as well as to myself. These can all transpire in a few seconds — as quickly as a look! Minor problems in communication can lead to significant misunderstandings and conflicts.

So I did some research and found that sociologists and psychologists agree on this fact: females tend to be judgmental from a young age. Young girls learn early on to gossip, form cliques, and turn on one another!

And it only gets worse as they get older. I read over 60% of working women are bullied by other women in the workplace. These are all part of the not-so-nice characteristics of women, contributing to relationship problems. The schooled authorities do not have an answer.

(Psst. Be sure to read to the end for details and a FREE sneak peak of my upcoming course and ebook!)

The Value of Girlfriends

Darlings, I think friendships with women are checkered. I have had women in my life do the most unexpectedly extraordinary and marvelous things for me. I have, on the other hand, felt betrayed and disillusioned. These experiences filled me with both sugar and negative spice, which left me feeling conflicted.

But that was then and this is now. I have come to terms with women and the first important fact is the realization of the value of having my girlfriends. Without the chitter-chatter and the back-and-forth banter, I would be lost. We depend on each other to express our thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly. I need them just as much as they need me. Using body language to convey positive feelings can mitigate personal anxiety and project confidence in various social situations, ultimately enhancing our interactions and fostering a deeper connection.

Healthy communication plays a critical role in enhancing relationship satisfaction among friends.

Please Remember to Do Things Your Own Communication Style

Healthy communication strategies with your girlfriends may begin with understanding your own communication style and that you need a strategy!

This is my healthy prescription for how to find the sugar with female friends. First and foremost, you must realize your own value, as this can significantly impact your self esteem. Secondly, you should reach out and acquire new friends who share those values.

It makes sense that we might be in want of new friends and friendships once we are over the age of 50. Once, the rhythm of life seemed perfectly synchronized with your girlfriends. Carpool mornings, PTA meetings, house hunting, after-school soccer games – you name it, you did it together. It was a whirlwind of grocery runs, family dinners, and vacations with the whole crew. You navigated motherhood side-by-side.

But “me-time”? That was a luxury few could afford, unless you opted for a career or a helping hand from a nanny.

Then, you blink, and suddenly 50 (and beyond!) has arrived. The kids are spreading their wings, the nest grows empty, routines fade, and family gatherings are less frequent. Healthy communication is essential for maintaining long term relationships, highlighting its role in fostering intimacy and resolving conflicts. Expressing your needs to a romantic partner is crucial to ensure mutual understanding and emotional support.

This may be the end of an era, but I look at this as the exciting beginning of a new chapter! You have a wealth of experience under your belt and years ahead to reinvent yourself. Change is good for the soul, especially between 50 and 90, right? Therefore, at the top of (or very close to) your “must-do” list? Reconnecting with your friends, fostering those sisterhood bonds, and creating a vibrant social life with women you admire.

Now you are on your way, darlings!

Nonverbal Communication Strategies To Try

The next step I call “shedding unwanted emotional weight”. Say goodbye to the toxic relationships in your life, even if those include female friendships! Practice effective communication techniques to improve your relationships, paying close attention to nonverbal cues. These cues, such as body language and facial expressions, significantly enhance understanding and connection between individuals. And remember: while you cannot control how others treat you, you can influence the quality of your interactions through your own communication methods. Don’t expect too much and you won’t be disappointed. Girlfriends have so much on their plate as do you, so be flexible. A safe environment allows for vulnerability and the development of healthier communication patterns.

Positive body language is also crucial in enhancing interactions, as it helps convey confidence and empathy, especially in challenging conversations.

• You want your friendships to be solid and meaningful. This requires your effort.
• If there was a friendship you valued that went astray, mend your bridges wherever possible.
• If someone hurts you and asks for your forgiveness, I hope you will forgive them if the infraction is forgivable.
• Do something good today: call your girlfriends and tell them you are glad they are in your life.

Darlings, will you hold yourself accountable and call one of your girlfriends to let her know how much you value her? I’m sure it would make her day and it would certainly make mine, knowing that another relationship somewhere in the world is strengthened. Let me know what she says in the comments below.

Active Listening Strategies

Active listening is a critical component of effective communication. It involves paying full attention to the other person, maintaining eye contact, and avoiding distractions. When you actively listen, you show the other person that you value their thoughts and feelings. It is also important to stay focused during communication to avoid misunderstandings and improve clarity. This can be achieved by paraphrasing and summarizing what the other person has said, ensuring that you understand their perspective correctly. By practicing active listening, you can build trust, resolve conflicts, and improve your relationships. Remember, listening is just as important as talking when it comes to effective communication.

The Role of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence plays a significant role in effective communication. It involves being aware of your own emotions and how they impact your communication style, as well as being able to understand and empathize with the other person’s feelings, making them feel comfortable and valued. Emotional intelligence helps you to remain respectful, even in difficult conversations, and to find common ground with the other person. By developing your emotional intelligence, you can improve your communication skills and build stronger, more meaningful relationships. This means being mindful of your own feelings and those of others, and using this awareness to guide your interactions.

Additionally, effective communication ensures that others feel understood, which is crucial for resolving conflicts and fostering positive relationships.

Understanding Communication Barriers

Communication barriers can hinder effective communication and lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. Understanding different communication styles and other forms of interaction is crucial in addressing these barriers. Common barriers include language barriers, cultural differences, and personal biases.

It is important to understand the matter at hand in communication, as different issues may require different approaches to resolve conflicts effectively. To overcome these barriers, it’s essential to be aware of your own biases and assumptions, and to be willing to listen and learn from the other person. By understanding communication barriers, you can take steps to overcome them and improve your communication skills. This involves being open-minded, patient, and willing to adapt your communication style to better connect with others. By doing so, you can create a more inclusive and understanding environment in your relationships.

Improving Communication Skills

Improving communication skills is essential for fostering effective communication in both personal and professional relationships. It’s not just about talking; it’s about truly connecting with the other person. Here are some strategies to help you communicate more effectively:

An Unfortunate Truth

I’d like to take a moment to pivot slightly. The sad fact is, there are some relationships that may be beyond repair, be it a friend, spouse, or family member. Honest communication is crucial in these situations to ensure that all parties understand each other’s perspectives. Effective communication can significantly benefit these relationships by providing the tools needed to improve interactions and foster healthier connections. I have recently shared my story that I am one of millions who is estranged from my adult children (read more of my story).

Though sharing my story was painful, the bright light was that I was able to reach so many mothers and grandmothers who suffer as I do. This instilled in me a deep desire to help these women in any way I can. I started a new private Facebook group,  Estranged Mothers and Grandmothers: Millions Strong, and I began working on a workbook that soon morphed into a full-blown course to help women come to peace with this situation as I have.

Addressing concerns openly can help in understanding the underlying issues that may not be immediately apparent. It is also important to ensure that all relevant points are talked about to avoid misunderstandings.

If you would like a free sample of the book portion, click here and I will send it to you

I hope that this story helps you to open the lines of communication with your girlfriends or anyone in your life that you’d love to share more of your time with. Please share this with anyone who might need some encouragement sprinkling sugar into their relationships, or deleting those that no longer bring them joy.