April is the month of renewal. What do you do to find passion in your life when you find yourself trapped in a web due to circumstances beyond your control? I know many of you are in my situation for different reasons and some of you will ultimately face what I am facing at this time; my ultimate concierge’s illness.

For the past five months, I have been forced into living an entirely new lifestyle. Instead of travel, I am homebound. Instead of socializing with my husband and friends at a restaurant, I cook or order in. Cooking and ordering in have become utter disasters after five months. 

Instead of wearing my outfits, they hang idly on beautiful hangers in my charming, organized closet. Instead of shopping for girly items, I shop for pills. And instead of making appointments that bring me joy, I make doctor’s appointments for my husband. 

Instead of leaning on my husband for help I have had to make major decisions, alone. During this time one of my saving graces has been girlfriends who check in weekly and bring me up-to-date on what’s going on in their lives. I am living vicariously through them! 

My life has been riddled with sadness, fears, worry, exhaustion, and very little joy. The two important joys I have in my life are my husband and hope.

REPLENISH

Over the past five months, I have been daydreaming about what to do outside ‘my prison of sadness.’ I continuously come up with one-word time and time again. REPLENISH.

My way of replenishing may be far different from yours. It matters not. What matters is your desire to replenish. And, what better time than Spring? The sun shines brighter, the grass turns greener, the daylight is longer, and the tulips are once again in the market.

TURN INWARD 

So, my sweet reader, you really aren’t alone. When life gives you a hard kick, and we all get kicked, you have your heart and mind —  two loyal friends that live within your soul — that will eventually lead you into green pastures. 

Your mind is your imaginary alter ego and will sway you — if you don’t let fear win over — into taking fresh new paths that your heart dreams of. My advice… listen to both and then… dive in. 

“I have joyful moments every day. I see my cup half full; never half empty because I have learned the importance of replenishment. And, if you have not, you can start now. Be strong and make lemonade out of your lemons.” — Honey Good

Everyone has ‘thoughts and visions’ housed within that can lead them to ‘replenish their destiny.’ It is up to each individual to listen and act.

This is where many a woman fails. They don’t act. They don’t listen to their alter ego and shift into drive.  These women continuously allow themselves to feel stuck because of their fear of failure or utter exhaustion from the experience they are living through. 

Please remember you owe it to yourself to replenish — to nurture your needs. Every woman needs a passion until she is no more. 

Brainstorm. Ask yourself,  “What do I want to do that will bring some magic back into my everyday experiences?” As I often write in my musings, “Eventually, you will have your ‘ah ha’ moment!”

I SHOOT FROM THE HIP

I always act, when I feel passionate about something, and worry later. I have learned that it is action that makes a woman’s heart sing; not inaction.

I have taken on things that I was not well versed or really knew nothing about. What spurred me on was, passion and curiosity. And, oh the places I have seen, the people I have had conversations with, and the things I have learned. My philosophy is that the possibility or probability of a positive new adventure is worth my gamble.

WHY MY METHOD CAN WORK

My method works because after you daydream for a period of time, you will know where you want to invest your time and energy. It is important to celebrate this rather than fear it. A new challenge or a new dream. A step away from sadness. And a passion that will replenish the you in you. 

Here are a few steps to get you on your way.

– You have a subtle clues of desire. Listen to your clues. 

– Daydream about your passion(s). This can take weeks.

– Write your passions down in your journal. 

– Become Detective Clouseau — investigate. 

– Make a decision (read my tips on how!).

– Dive in and climb the ladder. 

– You are now replenished. Ride your wave. 

 

RIDING MY WAVE

My passion is to touch others. I feel a physical and emotional passion when I contribute to a cause or a person. To nourish others while feeding my true identity is a win-win.

One passion serendipitously came my way. The title in the email caught my eye. What is remarkable is that I receive more than 100 emails a day from unknown sources that I never open.  

This particular email was from an organization that I had never heard of but the name peeked my fancy so I clicked. I was in awe. I could have written their mission statement!  

I had been searching for over a year for a charity to hang my hat and out of the blue, though I believe nothing happens by accident, I opened an unknown sender email. Why? My thought? It was meant to be. 

I was passionate about their mission statement and a video from the president that I picked up the phone and called the organization, cold turkey! 

Yes, darling, when you want something you have to go after it!  

A recorded message came on and I pushed # 5 with the hope I would connect with the right person. I did!  Of course, I am sure it ‘was meant to be.’ That is how I think, sweet reader. 

HOW TO EMBRACE SERENDIPITY IN LIFE

TAKING ACTION

We spoke. I felt shivers go up my arms because I found my calling. An organization where I fit. The gentleman on the phone told me he was coming to Chicago. He did, right to our home. 

When he left our condo in the sky, I was on a high!!!! I know that high will never leave me. I am hoping to join their national board in the near future. My contribution will be organizing women’s groups across the country.

My other passion is to bring ‘good’ mothers and grandmothers together. These women are facing the horrific challenge of trying to put their lives together after their estranged adult children ‘buried them alive.’ 

I am a mother and grandmother of estranged daughters and grandchildren and whatever my daughters feel I can attest with verve they do not fit my punishment. In other words, I am not guilty as charged. I know it and that is what matters.  

I felt the need to go live with my story after reading in the NYT that there are over 67 million parents facing my situation. The article was written two years ago. I wonder how many estranged and heartbroken parents there are in 2024. 

So, I recently opened a private Facebook group for these moms and grandmas. It is already over 1k strong. I wanted mothers and grandmothers to have shelter from the storm. A safe place where they can exchange ideas, gain knowledge, write their stories, and realize they are not alone. 

These are outlets that replenish me… that bring joy and satisfaction into my life as I grapple with the unpleasant. 

 

HEALTH MATTERS

These are things I do weekly to secure my physical and emotional wellbeing:

-Have a weekly massage because my doctor insists it is healthy.  

-Take pilates classes and yoga four days a week. 

-Spend hours with my ultimate concierge and my pooch America. 

-Talk on the phone with the ‘Good’ family and close friends.

-Spend time with you on HoneyGood.com and my Facebook groups. 

RELATIONSHIPS AFTER 50: A TIGHTLY WOVEN TAPESTRY

MY WOES  

I am the wife of an ill husband and the mother and grandmother of estranged adult children. Yes, I have had the book thrown at me. How do I feel?

I am tired.

MY JOYS

I have joyful moments every day. I see my cup as half full; never half empty because I have learned the importance of replenishment. And, if you have not, you can start now. Be strong and make lemonade out of your lemons.

I believe joy is attained by doing something that gives you personal satisfaction and a rush of passion. It works for me and I think it will work for you. 

So, my darling, live your passion by climbing the stairs. This is how you will REPLENISH yourself with personal joy.

Above all, I am joyful that the ultimate of ultimate concierges Sheldon F. Good, my best girlfriend and the love of my life, replenishes me with his laughter, his will to improve, and his love and devotion. Amen. Amen.