As I write this, my Ultimate Concierge and I are in the Big Apple having breakfast in the dining room at our home away from home restaurant at The Regency Hotel.
The Regency is our go-to hotel. Not because the structure is grand. It is because the staff has been at the hotel for years and remember my Ultimate Concierge and me as though we were long-lost friends. The hotel’s variety of guests is also a plus. It is a warm environment as well as an eclectic hotel, and I like that just fine.
For 32 very happy and exciting years, I’ve been married to my husband, Sheldon F. Good. He is used to both my whims of fancy and my more serious moods. Yet I like to think I still have the power to surprise him.
The Power of Choice
This morning, in the Regency dining room, I turned to him and said, out of the blue, “I think the word ‘choice’ is such an important word.”
“Where did that come from?” He asked with raised eyebrows and an orange juice glass in hand.
With a smile I replied, “The man seated next to me is reading a novel, and I thought about words. Choice came to mind because it is a person’s power.”
With deep admiration, I looked at my best friend, my husband, my love and thought about his important life choices. They flashed before me in a split second: his career, his marriage, and his relationships. His wise choices brought him to where he is today; a contented and happy man in all seasons. Most things in life are a result of a choice, in one way or another. Like choosing a life of contentment.
The Differences Between Men and Women When it Comes to Choice
This morning, I thought about how he makes his choice. To begin with, my Ultimate Concierge is a very deliberate type of man. He is a powerhouse. As long as I have known him he has used a step-by-step process when he makes a choice. He gathers information, assesses his alternatives, organizes relevant information, and makes his choice.
I think women have a harder time than men choosing.
For example, a man needs a new shirt. He walks into the store, walks up to the shirts, zeros in on his size, color and collar style and grabs the shirt. Within fifteen minutes, he has his shirt, pays his bill and is out the door!
Men seem to be able to make a choice in no time. I did not say they choose wisely!
On the other hand, I think it is harder for us, even after age 50, to make choices because we become distracted because there is so much to choose. A man stays focused on one event at a time. We are emotional gatherers!
A woman leaves her home with the sound intention of shopping for a new handbag and comes home with a bouquet of flowers, a gift for a grandchild, a quart of milk, plus the new handbag! Right?
Emotion Versus Logic
I think we have to try harder when we come to a fork in the road. Should we go to the left? Should we go to the right? So often, our emotions, rather than sound logic, take control. Maybe we think too hard. Maybe it just takes us longer. I am a firm believer that emotions should play a big role in making our choice.
It takes me a long time to lean into a choice because I have a creative mind. I understand this about myself. I let my creative mind imagine all types of artful settings. And, then I settle in and become deliberate, crossing every T and dotting every I. And, lastly, I listen to my heart. It knows.
In my opinion, the word ‘choice’ is by far the most important word in the dictionary except for one other word, time, because we make choices all day long.
I refer back to the effective process of my Ultimate Concierge. The technique he used to make wise choices proved fruitful in his career, marriage and relationships.
The Sheldon F Good Effective Choice Technique
- Define your goal—your choices: This is the most important step.
- Collect all information: Internal (emotion) and external (work). Your internal emotions are important. Your external work is even more important—so do your due diligence. Reading, talking to others of authority, taking a class, etc.
- What are the alternatives? You will have more than one path. Make a list of all desirable alternatives.
- Weigh your proof: Draw on your emotions and information. This is a very important step. At this juncture, you should begin to favor certain alternatives.
- Place your alternatives in order by priority
- Now make your choice!
- Take positive action!!
- One final step. Consider the results of your decision by evaluating whether or not your choice has resolved and resonated with your needs.
No one can or should choose for you. Choosing is your right. Each of your choices shapes your personal experiences. One of the great things about having the power of choice is that if you don’t like the choice, you can change it!!! Amen.
If you enjoyed this story about how to make a choice, please subscribe. You may also enjoy reading: How Happiness is a Choice and How to Choose It.
Do you have a tip for making choices? Do tell in the comments!