Is Sugar and Spice Really “Everything” Nice?

July 24, 2018 Published by
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Is Sugar and Spice Really "Everything" Nice?

I have always wished for a sister.

As a little girl, I observed the love between my mother and her sister; they spoke daily. I would hear them laughing and whispering and sometimes arguing and then more inside laughter. They were my ‘fabulousness’ role–models! I learned the meaning of loyalty, forgiveness, and empathy from those incredible women.

Girlfriends Offer So Much

We make laugher together, give each other advice on every womanly topic under the sun, share stories and have our own language. On a darker side, I have been witness to a lot of ‘sugar and spice’ that is not very nice; directed to other women and to me. It can be something as quick as a look!

So I did some research and found that sociologists and psychologists agree on this fact: Females tend to be very judgmental beginning at a young age.

Young girls learn early on to gossip, form cliques, and turn on one another! And it gets worse as they get older. I read that over 60% of working women are bullied by other women in the workplace. It is all part of ‘the not so nice characteristic’ of women.

My Thoughts on Female Friendships

Darlings, I think friendships with women are checkered. I have had women in my life do the most unexpected, extraordinary, marvelous things for me. I have also, on the other hand, felt betrayed and disillusioned. These experiences, both filled with sugar and negative spice, left me feeling conflicted.

But that was then and this is now. I have come to terms with women and this important fact: I realize the value of having my girlfriends and would be lost without the chitter-chatter and bantering back and forth with them.

I need them. They need me!

A Better Way

This is my healthy prescription for how to find ‘the sugar’ in female friends. First and foremost, you must realize your own value. Second, you should reach out and acquire new friends who have those same values. I touched on this more during my Facebook Live event this week. You can watch it here.

Now you are on your way, darlings!

Next Steps

The next step I call “shedding unwanted emotional weight.” Say bye-bye to toxic women in your life! And remember: Don’t expect too much and you won’t be disappointed. Girlfriends have so much on their plate, just as you do, so be flexible.

You want your friendships to be solid and meaningful. This requires your effort.

If there was a friendship you valued that went astray, mend your bridges if possible.

If someone hurts you and asks for your forgiveness, I hope you will forgive them if the infraction is forgivable.

Do something GOOD today: call your girlfriends and tell them you are glad they are in your life.

If you enjoyed this story, please watch the Facebook Live for more exclusive content and intriguing conversation, then please share your thoughts with me via TwitterFacebookPinterest, Instagram or in the comments section below.

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4 Comments

  • I’v been so fortunate in this blogging business. I’ve made so many new friends. We have such a good time together. I see them socially with my husband. Really this blogging has been a blessing. Extended my friendships all over the world.. I would never have met you. Of course I haven’t met you but feel as if we were friends. Yes, I have a friend who abandoned me and I don’t know why. I’ve asked but no repsonse. What terrible thing could I have done with out my even knowing? I wanted to know and wanted to apologize for what ever my misdeed was, But nada. What a waste of a friendship for both of us.

  • Linda Schlesinger says:

    I wholeheartedly agree with you about the value of having “sugar” girlfriends in your life. Tuesday I was invited to a luncheon. I didn’t know who would be there as I think it is rude to question my hostess about that. When I arrived there were 16 of us. Some ladies I knew, some not. Our hostess gave a 10 minute explanation of why we were all chosen to attend. We were her gal pals that have been with her for many years through good and bad. Each of us were hand picked with much thought she said. Well there was hardly a dry eye in the place. After that I reflected on my “sugar” friends. Long, long ago I removed those who subtracted, not added to my life. I, like you, have the constant love and devotion from a husband which I never take for granted. BUT, I do treasure my gal pals who give me honest feedback, tell me the latest gossip, turn me on to good cultural events, and support my latest athletic and travel adventures. A toast to you Susan from Linda Schlesinger.

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      So happy to hear from you!! What a lovely idea with such a lovely message. A gift from a girlfriend to 18 of her dear friends. I love what you wrote. Every word. Even, not asking who was invited! Wish we lived near one another. Warmly, Susan

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