I listened to a close friend tell me, “People can be exhausting.” When I heard her words, they echoed my thoughts of the past. That night as l laid in bed I thought about her comment concluding that it is not the number of people in one’s life that is exhausting but rather the negative actions of a few who consume your thoughts thus exhausting you. I am a people person to the max. I enjoy being kind to others and I enjoy people who are kind to me. This is not exhausting. It is exhilarating. Therefore, it is not the number of people in your life that exhausts you; it is the actions of a few unkind people that feel like an army of a million. Right, darlings?
I believe that ‘kindness’ is the most positive essence of a person’s make up. A kind person is affectionate, caring, considerate, helpful, understanding, charitable, and unselfish. A kind person ‘has heart.’ Yes, she falters. There is no perfection. But, most importantly, there is no exhaustion.
So what do you do about unkind, exhausting people?
As I stated, I fully understand that relationships are imperfect. I try my hardest to overlook imperfections in the dynamics of my family. I also give the benefit of the doubt to people until I notice a pattern developing that I find exhausting. After all, shouldn’t we all establish a threshold of tolerance? My rule of thumb: when exhaustion in relationships takes precedence over contentment it is important to revisit the relationship and often times, pivot. In other words, darlings, take shelter from the storm.
Unfortunately, my darlings, everyone at one time or another is surprised by the actions of someone who professes kindness and then disappoints them with any number of actions from ambivalence to pettiness to the unexpected. I have lived through most of these actions until the day I figured out what was best for me. This is what every one of you should consider doing.
So, I confess I have had a share of disappointments. I confess that it took me time to realize the actions I was comfortable taking when confronted by unkind people. Not all of your actions will or should mirror mine.
As I have written the disappointment by others came later in my life. Lucky me, I guess. Oh! But how they burned. I finally learned my way of releasing myself from unpleasant people who exhausted me in one way or another. It may very well not be your way. And that is great. The important message: Find your way. That took trial and error because my father’s message was to “always take the high road.” It proved difficult at times because there is a fine line between taking the high road and taking a stand. Taking a stand is difficult for me. As my darling husband tells me, “Honey, you are not good on your feet in unpleasantness situations.” I know he is right. I cannot find the words and that leads to all types of problems.
So this is my way to stop feeling exhausted from people: I walk away.
I have made the ultimate decision that they do not mirror me. They will never mirror me. Their moral code of ethics, their soul that dictates their behavior will never mirror mine. After doing this I am lifted from emotional exhaustion, darlings and go about my merry way.
I believe it is important, especially since you are now women over 50, 60, 70, 80, 90 and older to believe in yourself and to love yourself so you are able to circle yourself with the right people, the people who mirror you. Your emotional exhaustion will turn into emotional exhilaration.