With all of the changes that come after 50, has finding purpose become our new hobby?
From the time we were small children until our last child left the nest or we retired from the workplace, our purpose was cut out for us. And then the day of reckoning arrives! We all say to ourselves, “Now what am I going to do with the rest of my life?” Well, my darling, you have choices. You can climb the stairs and figure out what will make your heart sing now that you are a woman after 50, or you can ride the elevator up and down, searching for a new purpose and making that your full-time hobby. I prefer other options.
So many women after 50 spend years of their life thinking about what they want to do, riding the elevator up and down and up and down, meaning they go about their life with a lackluster feeling, never feeling that rush of new fulfillment. In other words, you feel lost.
This is normal. You make the bed, clean the kitchen, straighten the house in no time, and then what? Day in and day out, you complete the same tasks with no reward.
My darling, may I be blunt? You are turning this type of attitude into a hobby, a hobby that does not fulfill the wizened woman you have become after the age of 50.
Rejoice In Your New Opportunities
Many of you ‘think’ you are lost souls after 50. You are feeling this way because you are entering into a new passage in your life. Instead of feeling despair, Rejoice, darling, rejoice! A new era filled with exciting rewards is waiting for you when you climb the stairs, doing your due diligence.
I grant you that it is hard work adjusting one’s attitude to change; toward a new purpose. I know. Oh, do I know! Newness is a wonderful idea. Getting there can be exasperating and soul-searching.
Ideas For a New Purpose After 50
Expand on something(s) that brought joy in the past and take it to a new level. For example: If you have a green thumb, plant a garden! Learn all you can about gardening. Take a course. Talk to friends. Visit nurseries. Reading the book, The Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben, will give you the persistence to continue on your quest.
If you have an unmet dream, or a burning desire, don’t be afraid to pursue it with all your might. You are a woman over 50 and have the time to sink your teeth into your dream. Sure, it is difficult, but the rewards are worth the pain. The newness will be refreshing and gratifying.
If you have a project or a dream you had to put on the back burner because of time allotment, now is your time to be creative. Don’t be lazy and keep thinking about it. Do it! This will give you a purpose. The completion of your project will give you joy.
“I view my frustration as delayed success rather than failure.”
Fear Is a Progress Killer
You cannot let fear derail you. Never. It will try to. Oh, does it try to! When fear strikes, your urge is to ride the elevator up and down instead of climbing the stairs. I know the feeling.
Honestly, thinking about a new challenge is scary. When this happens, step back, maybe for days, and allow your mind to take in your idea. Allow yourself time to decide on your goal. This often can take hours as you mull over new options and strategies.
You will say yes and then no. This is positive and normal. What is not positive is fear. Oh, it is real, and we all feel it, but those of you who press ‘go’ will find joy on your new journey. Those of you who wallow in fear will ride the elevator up and down in frustration.
Frustration Will Hold You Back
There are several types of frustration everyone experiences. We have personal frustrations, conflicting frustrations, and pressure frustration to name a few! Frustration is an emotional response to stress. It is a common feeling.
Frustration will stop you from realizing your potential—your goal after 50. Be aware of it and get creative.
Here are a few simple ways to bring down the temperature and breathe in satisfying thoughts:
- Splash your face with cool water. It has been proven that cool water triggers a reflex reducing the symptoms of frustration.
- Play soft music. Music has a powerful effect on our brains. It turns off frustration. It plays to your ‘satisfaction.’
- Buy house plants or start a garden. I have houseplants all over my office. I look at them and feel my entire body relax. When I nurture them, I feel joy. I pat the leaves and tell them I love them. My plants alleviate my frustration and my stress.
- Spend time with your pet. When I am in a thinking mood or I am feeling frustrated, I wrap my arms around America. I hug and pat him. I lay down with him any hour of the day to destress. His breathing soothes me. His kisses delight me. You might enjoy reading this story from his point of view, My Love Affair With My Mistress, Honey Good.
- Go shopping! It works every time. A new red lipstick. A new handbag for Summer. A new carry case for an iPhone. A gift for a loved one on Amazon!
- Talk to someone. I talk to my Ultimate Concierge. Even talking to yourself can make a difference in the frustration department.
- Vent! Give yourself the pleasure of letting your frustration out. Venting can be a healthy emotional outlet. Keep a journal.
Finding Purpose: The Goal
The goal is to focus on your creative juices, not on frustration. Frustration and fear will sink you. I view my frustration as delayed success rather than failure. I want you to see your new purpose as a setback that you will get over. When you feel this way toward your new purpose, you will succeed.
Finding Purpose: How To Manage Your Expectations
An expectation is a ‘belief’ that a certain outcome will happen. An expectation is the beginning of what the future may hold based upon strongly held thoughts.
Therefore, I think it is essential to accept your limitations when finding purpose. You are experimenting with new thoughts. Experimenting means doing your due diligence. First and foremost, you have to understand this; don’t expect fulfillment overnight.
You learned to adapt to changing circumstances in your life before 50. You raised a family, you figured out how to get along in the workplace and with in-laws and friends. Now you are wizened. You are enlightened. Now you have an opportunity to experience different snags and realize your expectations. This is a part of the journey. Meet it with relish. Therefore, prepare yourself for snags, problems, and disappointments, remembering that taking on any new purpose has its challenges and it will require resilience until you meet your need.
I also understand the life changes you are facing. It is no wonder many of you are experiencing feeling lost, invisible, indecisive, lonely and restless after 50. I want to leave you today with this message:
You have the wherewithal to aspire to new heights. Consider these thoughts:
- Zero in on what you want
- Do research
- Is it an attainable
- Set a goal for yourself
- Will it enlighten you?
- Will it empower you?
- Lastly, will it bring you joy?
Resilience and Purpose
As a woman far over 50, I have aspired for many things in my life and have been successful. If you were to ask me to tell you in one word why, I would echo two words—resilience and purpose.
Everything I have accomplished happened because I am a resilient woman with a purpose. I have the ability to last through stages to reach my goals and my purpose. I may reach a goal in a short time, or it may take me a very long time. My goal may be about others, or it may be directed to my needs. Whatever it is, it is meaningful. It is my nature to accomplish for others as well as for myself. Why? Because this is how I find joy in life.
Decide what will bring you personal joy, and then reach for your star. You can do it. You must do it. I want you to ride your personal wave.
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Have you found yourself searching for purpose? Please share in the comments!
A great word as I press on returning once again to creative work in this new season of life. Thank you, Honey!!
My pleasure, as always. Warmly, Honey
This post is one to sink your teeth into! To the point, but full of thoughts to ponder…I have the opposite challenge, however. Adult child at home (but working!), husband retired but still working in his field…I don’t have all this extra time to reflect! I am active as a photographer for an excavation in Israel every summer, and while home as an archivist for a non-profit. Your post is helpful, though, in keeping focus on those things that bring relaxation… I’ve just taken up gardening, and you’re right, it’s a source of peace and joy! Thank you, Honey!
I love you lifestyle! Family, photography. Israel! You take the steps, Virginia… and now for relaxation with gardening, you can relax and ride the elevator! Warmly, Honey
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement, Honey!! This is so good!❤️❤️❤️
You are so welcome, Mary! Warmly, Honey
Thank you! Your words are amazing. I just found your website. I am going through a very difficult break up I feel lost. I don’t know what to do
Everyone who goes through a difficult break-up most probably feels as you do. Lost. Climb the stairs. One day at a time. Slowly analyze the relationship…why did it go wrong and then step by step climb the stairs and rebuild your life. So glad you are with me.Warmly, Honey
Dear Honey, I love this article.
I remember as I went through my life, that I would say to myself, I am going to read more when I retire, I will do this project, and this one. I will write everything about my family I will make an ancestorial book, etc. I have been retired now since 2015. So many things I have started, with nothing complete. I always put things off. Thanks for the encouragement and pep talk. I am really going to try. Thank you!
I am so glad you are going to complete a task you decide to start. You will be so proud of yourself. Warmly, Honey
Thanks Honey – I needed that. I’m 72 and have several projects in my mind that I haven’t started and your post was very helpful!
I am so glad I could help. Your comment made me happy. Warmly, Honey