This story is about positivity and negativity. Our personality type is in our DNA and has a direct effect on our social behavior, our view on life, and ultimately our happiness. Every woman over the age of 50 is born with a general level of happiness. Today’s story talks about our genetics in layman’s terms and ways a woman can condition herself to look forward to living in a positive way.
I was in a casual conversation with a woman. She startled me when she described a man we both knew as bitter. I was startled by the adjective she used to describe a person. To my way of thinking, the word bitter describes dark chocolate or an extremely cold day.
Obviously, I don’t care for the word bitter because my set-point of happiness is on a high level on the genetic curve and a bitter person’s set-point of happiness is on the low. I know they say that opposites attract but not in this type of situation. I was born under a lucky star. He was not.
If you want to read about how I had no choice but to turn some negative situations into positive outcomes, read How a Year of Problems Led to Joy in the New Year. I think you’ll find it enlightening.
WHAT IS SET-POINT?
Everyone has a set-point on her genetic grid. A person’s set-point is based on their genetics and their DNA, but can further be determined by how they build happiness from the inside out.
When life throws some women over 50 lemons, they make lemonade because they are fortunate to be blessed with a positive genetic makeup.
Other people can win a trip to Paris; experience short-term elation but fall back into their unhappy genetic set-point.
EVERYONE IS BORN WITH A SET-POINT
As a woman over 50, I was blessed at birth with a positive genetic makeup. Luck was on my side. From the time I was a child, I knew I was going to live an exciting life though I never mapped out a plan, as many do, because I am a creative, and that is not a part of my DNA.
I felt my life was going to be exciting. I had dreams and aspirations, and even when things were dire, I sensed I was born under a lucky star and knew I would survive and thrive. Every day I am grateful for a positive DNA.
HOW DNA AFFECTS OUR CONDITIONING; OUR SOCIAL LIFE
A positive set-point, a woman’s ‘happy’ DNA gives her the ability to handle and survive conditions easier than a woman over 50 who was born with a negative genetic DNA set-point.
She has to try harder. She must learn how to fill her toolbox with positive mechanics to face life conditions while the positive-thinking woman’s toolbox overflows with happiness because of positive genetics.
Truly, a positive nature is a blessing. Bitterness is a curse.
Learning to lead a positive life is well worth a woman over 50’s effort.
Admittedly, it is easier for me to see the bright side of life. It comes naturally because of my genes but don’t count yourself out.
I believe it is achievable for a negative-thinking personality, especially a wise woman over 50, to find her pot of gold of positivity. How? She can learn skills with practice. Why? It is worth the effort to overcome anxiety, emptiness, lack of purpose, low self-esteem, loneliness, and invisibility.
I hope you will try, try, try! Huff and puff. Climb the stairs. Make little changes in your life because women over 50 with positive attitudes are more hopeful, confident, cheerful, healthy, pleasing, and forward-looking. Learned positivity has great latitude. Even bad stuff can ultimately be filled with awe.
A SET POINT OF AWE: THE ROCK STORY
Yesterday I had a phone conversation with a woman who applied for a job at Honey Good. During our conversation, she took the lead. She became the teacher. I became her student. At the end of our lengthy conversation, she told me to call at any time with questions.
It was not lost on me that, aside from her wisdom, she gave me a great amount of her time.
I believe my positive genetic make-up, my DNA, gives me a deeper meaning and purpose than others who have a negative tilt on life. This is because I feel joy and fulfillment with positive clearly. I don’t have to work on it. I own it.
I picked up on one of her sentences that had nothing to do with our business conversation! And, my internal reaction was one of feeling the utmost joy!
As she was giving me her thoughts on business, out of the blue, she mentioned the names of two semi-precious rocks she noticed sitting on a shelf in my office.
My immediate thought — I am going to the rock shop and sending her a rock as my way of thanking her. I felt a surge of happiness.
What does that have to do with a person’s daily happiness? Everything!
Would the bitter man hear her statement? No. Would he find internal happiness in the statement? Of course not.
Late that same afternoon, I visited the rock shop and found her the perfect semi-precious rock. I knew she would know it was a gift from my heart. I was so happy you would think I bought the gift for myself!
If you are on the other side of the spectrum, to no fault of your own, you have to find your positive set-point with work.
EASY STARTERS TO HAPPINESS
I have given thought to how I can help you find your set-point of positive happiness. I know you cannot change your genetic makeup. But conditioning yourself is another matter.
- Love is #1!
- A little journal next to your bed: In the morning, before rising, write down a few reasons to be grateful. This will start your day with positive conditioning.
- Engage with happy people. Hearing laughter and positive comments, and listening to how positive people solve struggles is awesome.
- Play music in the early morning while preparing coffee or tea.
- Join an interesting group. Curiosity is an upper and contagious.
- Give back to the community.
- Regular aerobic physical activity produces neurotransmitters that give you an upbeat feeling. Hiking. Dancing. Paddleball. Walking.
- Acknowledge unhappy moments. Catch them and analyze the why?
- When all else fails, make an appointment with a positive psychologist.
THE KEY TO HAPPINESS IS INTERNAL.
Long-term happiness is rooted in internal circumstances, not external ones. Your set-point. Life throws us countless circumstances outside of our control. I found out in five minutes I had two Cancers.— deadly ones. This was out of my control. How I handled the conditions, my set-point, were in my control, and I am alive and well 14 years later.
The bitter man does not have to remain bitter even though his genetic set-up, his set-point, leaves much to be desired. The same sentence can be applied to a woman over 50. She can discipline herself by going inward and trying hard to add positive ingredients that will bring her happiness.
Every woman has in her control, even with her DNA fighting her, the ability to change behavior.
THE POSITIVE FORCE OF LOVE
In my opinion, loving relationships of all sorts is the key ingredient to finding happiness. The stronger your relationships are the more likely you are to be able to fight off your negative DNA. You have to condition yourself. It is hard but doable.
Love comes from different sources:
- A partner.
- A pet.
- New experiences.
- Art, music, theatre.
- Personal organization skills.
- Your home.
- YOUR DAILY THOUGHTS!
Love is all around us, darlings! Seek, and you shall find.
HOW I DEFINE LOVE
- Wants to give back
- Filled with generosity
- The silence of the day
- And it is the most awesome internal feeling
It is the most satisfying feeling and can help stave off the negative DNA syndrome.
FALLING IN LOVE WITH NATURE AND BEAST
I fell in love with the animals and the Serengeti Plain. I felt genuine happiness, meaning, and purpose and a close relationship to the animals and the land. I felt healthy and deeply fulfilled.
My favorite animals were Lords and Kings. The elephants, in my opinion, are Lords. The lions are Kings. Why?
Their largeness was powerful, and their silence spoke volumes without a sound.
I also fell in love with the Serengeti Plain because it is the protective home to the animals of the kingdom, its powerful vastness, it source of foods and rest areas, and yes, its silence. It, too, spoke volumes without a sound.
How the animals and land were able to tell me their story, in silence, stirred a newfound love within me — the power of silence.
I believe positive genetics and conditioning played a role in my pleasure. It is hard to explain in words. I can only say: my cup runneth over on the Serengeti. None of my family, including my Ultimate Concierge, felt as deeply as I did.
I know our guide, Bennie, felt as I did, without saying a word. When I think of East Africa, my cup runneth over silently with love. It is sealed with a kiss within my internal and ever-positive DNA.
I am blessed that I got the positive family members’ DNA. Trust me, darling, and I am smiling, I got lucky!!! Amen.
How do you stay positive? Please share with us in the comments! We would love to hear it.
I follow your post and find them very helpful. I love the one about your African safari and would like to plan a trip there. Would you be able to share your itinerary and where are you stayed?
We went to Kenya, Tanzania, and Rwanda. We stayed at Singita lodges in Rwanda and Tanzania. We saw the Silver Back gorillas in Rwanda. When you are ready to take your trip I will happily fill you in with more details. Warmly, Honey
Thank you for your unique words of wisdom I have never meet you honey but i love your positive outlook on life A question i would like to ask you Do you ever make mistakes and how do you turn them into a postive Thank you Dawn
i answered you on my website on Ask Honey! You have a great name. Dawn! A new day. A new Dawn.Your name is positive reinforcement. Warmly, Honey
I love this blog post, Honey! I was always told that I have a smile in my voice when anyone reached me on the phone. A type of Positive DNA!
I love all of your tips to create that note of positivity in every day. Too many times we get mired down in the negatives. Uplift! Uplift!
I recently had a medical emergency that required a trip to the ER and a 3-day hospital stay. But I was always positive and smiling, even while I was in great pain. Because I knew I was ever-so-lucky! A year ago, God had put a wonderful caring young man in my life who came ASAP when called to help me. He got me to ER and cheered up the staff and me with his silliness and smiles. He was such a tonic for us all!
I am ever-so-grateful that this young person is in my life and I am in his. A chance meeting arranged by God brought forth a new family for me AND for him. And we both have desperately needed each other these past few months.
So I look in the mirror and smile because every day is a glorious new day filled with love of friends and family AND I am home again to repair and renew. And our 3 cats are deliriously happy that Mom is back home, too!
Your message makes me smile, in gladness for you and your young friend and 3 deliriously happy cats! Warmly, Honey