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I'm Honey!

As a woman who has lived through many passages and learned through my larger than life experiences (positive and negative), I’ve discovered how to take a big empowering bite out of life.

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Passages After 50

On The First Night of Hanukkah, An Open Letter

I’ve learned so much in the year 2022. I am most certain you did too. I decided to write you an open letter about my year (now, on the first night of Hanukkah) because I want you to know that my life is bittersweet, too. Life is not a bed of daily roses. There are hills and sometimes mountains to climb and at times we cannot see the top. I can honestly admit that the last year of my life was my least favorite. I could say La De Da but I can honestly tell you that 2022 almost did me in physically and emotionally. I am one exhausted woman. And, one excited woman looking forward to a better 2023.

Hanukkah

 

Reflecting On The First Night Of Hanukkah: A Charmed Life

I look at life this way: We can’t always have a charmed life even though the glossy magazines say we can. But, when life throws us lemons there are still positive possibilities when you, a woman after 50, make up your mind that you can gain strength, grace, and wisdom from adversities. That is how I have always lived my life, darling, so if you are one of those doubting Thomases, turn over a new leaf, as they say, and fine-tune your thoughts from negative to positive – especially on a night like tonight, the first night of Hanukkah.

 

Pushing Myself

Honestly and I kid you not in 2022, I had days where I had to push myself to carry on. My la de da attitude would come to a halt. I had to enter unknown waters and accept chronic illness, death, disappointment after disappointment, and do things I had never done before and did not like doing. I lived more days with fear, worry, anger, and sadness than joy. But, and I swear this to you – the gift of a sunrise, thousands of licks at a time from America, the devotion of my ultimate concierge and friends and acquaintances, and the gift of appreciation carried me on. Even on my worst days, there was always at least one silver lining. Through my tears and anxiety, I have laughed every day or felt joy in some way, in 2022.

 

Adversities

In 2022 I finally came to terms with serious adversity. One day I said to my ultimate concierge, “If I can’t resolve within myself the pain I am experiencing from my daughters, I feel I will die before my time. I tend to have a little Sarah Bernhardt in me, but I swear darling, I meant it! And, it scared me and really scared my ultimate concierge. In 32 years of marriage, he had never heard me talk this way because he knows and I know that I want to live and do and see and be and learn and and and…

I told myself I had to be done with the crying (five years!) and done with having an aching heart. So, I acted. My action released my stress and I honestly sighed with relief. I am now able to ‘simply be’ over this daunting issue. If you have a serious problem act and resolve it before 2023.

Losing my mother was bitter and that pain brought back the pain of missing my father. Emptying my parent’s home hit me very hard because it brought a heartwrenching finality; I will never see my parents again, hear their voices or be able to seek their counsel, or feel their hugs.

My ultimate concierge had one medical issue after another almost every day of the year, causing me emotional worry and physical exhaustion. I have been Florence Nightengale morning, noon, and night.

My main priority in 2022 was to protect my husband at all costs. The right doctors, the right meds, the right workout coach, the right foods, the right socialization, the right breakfast, and lunch. Taking care of my best friend in the world was an OY! It dawned on me lately, “What about taking care of myself!” Darling, I had forgotten!

On a lighter level but nonetheless, an important one, I missed the social life we had enjoyed before Covid. I missed my close friends living in California for the winter, my New York and Honolulu friends, and others that live around the world, I missed joy. I missed normalcy. I missed humor, I missed looking forward. I missed life! I am sure you can relate.

 

What Kept Me Afloat In 2022

As I reflect on the first night of Hanukkah, I notice that what kept me afloat in 2022 was my resilience to endure; to spring back and survive the roadblocks, to see my problems grey, never black, and my ability to be vulnerable; I did not pretend to those close to me that all was well. And, my nature. I am blessed to have the ability to see the sunshine through stormy and downtrodden clouds. I tried to refine my everyday thinking because there is a significant difference between thinking and doing.

Harmony was also missing from life in 2022. I missed the harmonious lifestyle I had even with the normal ups and downs, but I can honestly say that I put every ounce of my effort toward making things better. I did not sit around wishing. I worked to make things work and I will walk away from 2022 with pride. So, if you are beset with unfortunate circumstances, rise to the occasion and do good to feel good.

I think to myself, thank God, I have the nature to want to turn lemons into lemonade. Thank God, I am adaptable. Thank God I love to laugh. Thank God I live outside the box. Thank God I seek answers. Thank God I feel loved. Thank God, I am grateful. And lastly with tongue in cheek, Thank God, I am sweeping away 2022 and making plans for 2023!

A sense of normalcy in your life is paramount. The first thing I suggest and what I have decided to do is to have a fulfilling daily schedule, a ritual, that gives me personal joy. This is important for every one of us. My schedule may differ from yours. It matters not. What matters is the daily feeling of joy with accomplishment.

A ‘wellness routine’ is a must for you and for me. We owe it to ourselves to take care of our bodies and our minds. My wellness routine is 30 minutes daily on my treadmill. Pilate studio on Tuesday and Thursday. An in-house mindfulness, Tai Chi, trainer on Monday and Wednesday. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday are treadmills only. I am proactive about my health. Are you? Set up appointments now with your dermatologist for a body check, your doc for a mammogram, a periodontist check-up, a routine physical, and whatever else is necessary.

‘My work routine.’ I will work on Honey Good every workday except on Friday. If you work, follow my prompt. If you don’t work plug in hobbies, group meet-ups, schooling, etc.

Friday is ‘my day’ to do what suits my fancy. Shop. Cards. Lunch with girlfriends. Read. Do my patshkeying around my house, take a bubble bath, Whatever turns me on…It is my day.

The weekends are ‘our days.’ My ultimate concierge and I spend Saturday and Sunday together. We watch movies, run errands, read, talk, go out for brunch, I write, he watches sports, we include family, etc. We are in the same room, together. Nights are out alone or with friends.

 

Looking Forwards To In 2023

The next important biggie on my list I call, ‘Looking Forwards.’ After Covid, it is time to look forward. Get out of our slump.

Our calendar is beginning to look like it did before Covid. January is two weeks on the East coast of Florida. We will then travel from Florida to Manhattan to Carnegie Hall, to the Michael Jackson show, dinner at La Greniolle, staying at the Regency, and going to the United Nations because my husband has been chosen once again to be a delegate to the UN representing FIABCI, the International Real Estate Federation out of Paris. He has to register in order to be given his pass. Did I tell you my ultimate concierge was given the Medal of Honor of Paris, in Paris, by then President Jacque Chirac? Yes, I am proud of ‘my man.’

February is open. We were going to go to Saint Barts. We canceled. We are trying to find housing in Florida for the month. Nothing is available as of yet. Fingers crossed.

March is a biggie. East Africa. Rwanda to see the Silver Back gorillas, Kenya and Tanzania and this is the best part…with three and possibly four grandsons. We are planning the trip as I write. OMG, the boys are so excited. I am so excited. I know my ultimate concierge is excited, except for the costs!!!! I am smiling. What a grand adventure with my hubby and four grands. I will keep you updated.

My other look forwards to in 2023: January is the month to redo my ultimate concierge’s closet with California Closets, finish my closet with a runner and a new chandelier (ordered), finish our foyer, recover our den sofa and chair.

February we are remodeling our powder room. If I like the designer’s work I will hire her for my bath.

I think it is important to have ‘Look Forwards’ on our calendars for 2023. Looking forwards keeps our juices flowing. It may be travel; It may be a facelift! It may be a new kitchen appliance. It may be solo travel or going back to school. It may be a move! It may be adding a new pooch into the family. Whatever is your pleasure, seek pleasure by looking forward and doing what will bring necessary and needed excitement back into your life.

 

My Goal For 2023

My goal for 2023 is to feel physically and emotionally better. That means accepting what I cannot change, to continue being the best wife, deepening my relationships with women, grandchildren, my staff, and new people who enter my life, opening the doors of my Enlightenment Salon, and welcoming you into the Salon with many perks, and to work at living my best-charmed life. Isn’t Hanukkah, or the holiday season in general, a great time to reflect on changes we want to make for the future?

 

Hanukkah

The Story Of Hanukkah

Tonight is the first night of Hanukah, otherwise known as the Festival of Lights. Hanukkah commemorates a miracle that occurred in 165 BC. after Judas Maccabaeus and his followers reclaimed Jerusalem from a Greek emperor who considered Israel a Greek province. Jews were forced to abandon their faith because the emperor wanted all the nations to be controlled and cohesive. One religion. The Jews were ordered to worship Greek Gods. The Temple where ‘the wall’ stands today was turned into a Greek Shrine and the Jewish people were forbidden to study the Torah or practice Jewish customs. There was a three-year campaign, the Maccabees were victorious, and the Temple was restored to Jewish worship. The word Hanukkah means ‘dedication.’

The Menorah is very significant. When the Maccabees took back the Temple they proclaimed an 8-day purification celebration only to find they only had enough oil for barely a day to keep the temple lamp burning, a candelabra with 8 branches. Miraculously the temple lamp burned for 8 days. Ever since that day in time the Jewish people have observed Hanukkah in remembrance of their struggle for religious freedom.

Had the Maccabees not rebelled against the Greeks the Jewish faith would have faded into Greek culture. There would have been no Jewish community for Jesus, who was a Jew, who celebrated Hanukkah and Passover, to be born a century and a half later! Therefore, darling, without Hanukkah there would have been no Christmas! We are all tied together and I like that very much. Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish family and to all my Jewish friends around the world.

 

Here Comes The Light

The month of December, on the 22nd, our anniversary, is the longest night of the year. It is known as the Winter Solstice. It is a connection between man and nature. It is a time for reflection, restoration, and renewal. It is a time to make a ‘clean beginning.’ I find myself reflecting. Our anniversary is on Winter Solstice. It is the day of renewal. I am sighing. I can ‘simply be.’ I will seek restoration. I will reflect. 2023 will be the year of renewal. As a woman over 50 please follow me.

December 18, 2022

Passages After 50, Relationships

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  1. Audrey A. Piazza says:

    Honey and your delightful husband,
    May you have all the joy and happiness you have earned. . . and deserve. I look forward to your daily messages. I’ve been ill since I moved from NJ to Texas to be with my son and his family, in and out of the hospital, but looking forward to spending more time here. I just turned 90. You are an amazing woman who makes me and other’s feel good. That is why I respect you.
    As for 2023, right now I plan to just take one day at a time to be on track. So, keep sending all your uplifting messages as I receive power to pursue my life. And thanks for being an online friend. You matter.

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      How proud I feel to have you as a friend across the miles.Thank you for your kind words and your loyalty. I wish you a fruitful and bright 2023. I will continue sending you my stories! Sending blessings. xo Honey

  2. marlene says:

    I was a relief to me to know that a woman who seems to have it all together, also has the ultimate problems. Thank You for being honest and not just putting on a show!

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      Authenticity is a gift to be shared with others.You are so very welcome. I send my wishes that the year 2023 is filled with sweetness for you and your family. Warmly, Honey

  3. Jeanne says:

    I grew up on the east coast in Vero Beach, Florida. It was a beautiful place to enjoy my youth and we love to visit friends who still live there. I hope you enjoy your east coast stay and are able to find a place to continue longer.

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      Thank you for your comment. I wish you and your family a very happy and healthy New Year. Warmly, Honey

  4. Cathy says:

    Thank you for sharing the story of Hanukkah. Thank you for enlightening me. I love it. I so enjoy reading your posts!

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      It is a story of the togetherness of two religions and peoples. I am glad you enjoyed. Happy New Year. Warmly, Honey

  5. Sherry Heffernan says:

    You talk about the pain of “your daughters”. Are we to surmise what that is? And what did you do to “act” to get over it. Those thoughts would be more helpful.

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      I remained silent for five years when one of my daughters decided she no longer wanted me in her life. Instead of confronting the situation, which I did not deserve, I took the high road writing her a few lovely notes and sending a few heartfelt gifts with no response. To this day, I do not know the reason why she did what she did. This occurred after her father passed away and I remarried. Looking back I should not have taken the high road and remained silent while she continued her tirade. My action: I wrote her a letter. I let her know she would never hear from me again but would leave the door open if she wanted to return.This was closure for me. I wrote the letter to survive. Happy New Year. Warmly, Honey

  6. Rena says:

    Dear Honey, I do so empathize. The year 2022 has been
    One of the worst years in my life as well, and there were
    quite a few days I was ready to give up hope. From living
    In elsewhere to global crises and threats to an older
    Medically challenged husband whose caretaker succeeded in taking him over mentally, emotionally
    and financially while I was in a rehab facility for a broken
    Hip. So often you voice exactly what is in my heart.
    Alas, we need to continue making lemonade and keep our sense of humor. Thank you for being an inspiration!
    Happy 2023!

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      Dear Rena, Adversity is a character builder for all of us. We struggle with them and eventually find solutions. The solution(s) is the gift. I do hope you will have a positive New Year. Try your best to make it happen. It is a gift to yourself. Warmly and as ever, Honey

  7. Kay Zanger says:

    It was good to read your honest and uplifting comments on 2022. Thank you,

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      You are very welcome, Kay. I send you my New Year wishes….may your year in 2023 be sweet. Warmly, Honey

  8. Robbin Burstein Close says:

    Susan, I have followed you from the beginning. I hear everything you write about. Today’s post was quite honest and helpful I wish you well with your 2023 plans and hope your sweet husband stays well. You alluded to a situation with your daughters. I also have a good and privileged life, but am heart sick about my oldest daughter. I have to use the word estranged for us. She is not into drugs and does not drink. She has lived out of the country for almost 30 years and loves walking the earth and adventures. She teaches English and is now in Uzbekistan. She left her daughter when she was 8 with her x husband and I took over as the “mother.” It is her journey I know this from therapy. She is mean to me and never got over loosing her father from divorce. She doesn’t communicate with me at all. Haha I still give her The NY Times everyday.
    Maybe, there are others in this situation who are in your group of readers? I am not talking about feeling sorry for ourselves, but suggestions about how to go on enjoying life with this kind of relationship always with us? Not Jonathan Coleman kind of advice. I am taking a chance writing to you because this may be similar to your situation? Thank you, Robbin Close
    I hope we can bring light to the world during Chunuka.

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      I am smiling about the NYT’s. I am not sure what you meant with the ha ha but if it is what I think, I get it. 23% of parents suffer from adult children estrangement. Most parent’s have no idea and do not realize why their child take it to such an extreme.These adult children have a cross to bear. You cannot go through life when you intentionally abandon your mother or a child. Happy New Year. Warmly, Honey

  9. Sandra says:

    Thank you for sharing. I too, find that I must adjust, and accept what I cannot change. Grief is a test of faith and I choose to trust and believe God. It’s the only way I can live and not just exist. I look forward to the new year and will carry the beautiful memories of my beloved sister with me. Be blessed❤

  10. Thank you, Honey, for sharing your 2022 experiences. My year has been filled with many similar experiences. I, like you, look for and find renewed strength each morning for the day ahead. I also begin each day with gratitude, expressing thanks thanks for the blessings I have and those in their way to me. I am happy you carve out time to live and nurture yourself. We need and deserve our own self care.

    Love and blessings in the new year.

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      I send my blessings to you and your family. I am sorry you are having similar experiences. Take good care of yourself! Warmly, Honey

  11. dawn foster says:

    thank you so much for your company everyday words can not express what i am going to say as emotions take over my husband lost his battle with cancer this year i always find christmas a difficult time of year in the dark shadows of christmas morning their is a glimmer of light thank you for your integrity and positive attitude kind regards dawn foster

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