I'm Honey!

As a woman who has lived through many passages and learned through my larger than life experiences (positive and negative), I’ve discovered how to take a big empowering bite out of life.

Oh My, Ponder This:








Lessons I’ve Learned In 30+ Years Of Marriage

I am falling in love all over again with the moods of the seasons. Have you ever thought of comparing the seasons of the year to your marriage? Each season sparks an aura; a personality of its own. There is the flow of harmony and growth as one season passes into the next just as the seasons of a marriage. I am fixated on the seasons because every month has its particular reasons just as every marriage has its season of different reasons.


Marriage and seasons

Just as the seasons evolve, so does marriage. There are times during each season to feel its roar and there are times we know it needs to simply be… Though there are challenging temperamental storms and sunless days during fall, winter, spring, and summer, each season is filled with its personal attitude of positivity. There is a multiplication of sunny days and rainy days but the stimulation of growth never ceases near the Sea or desert with its own majesty.

There are periods in marriage, like the seasons, of introspective and unknowing personal growth. A grumpy day will morph into an Ah-Ha sunny day and you’ll say out loud, “I get it!” And, the sun will shine in all its glory. Just like the seasons…the grey in the snow will turn glistening white and the desert will bloom with flowers on top of cacti. It is all a marvel.

Yes, it is all a marvel to me … the flow of life, sweet reader. Sometimes you have to swim upstream like the Salmon and at other times you can float in peace as positive emotions buoy you up as the current carries you downstream. The point is to never stop flowing and flowering…like the seasons.

How marriage changes during retirement

My Ultimate Concierge and The Seasons

I continue to fall in love all over again each season with my husband, Shelly. When we met I thought I could not possibly love him more. I was wrong. With each passing year and each season we are together, my love grows. He is my soulmate, my best girlfriend, and my true love. No matter where I am, ‘he is all around me.’ Like the seasons of the year.

My whirlwind courtship reminds me of the seasons. A gust of wind, the leaves moving gently in the trees and the sweet smell of flowers touched all my senses and swept me off my feet the moment I laid eyes on him!  It was like waves crashing on the shore that thrust me off the ground into his waiting arms. He took my breath away.

We were married twice; twice in the month of December. The second time on the Island f Maui by a Kahuna, a high priest. It was at sunset on the shoreline of the Pacific Ocean. Thus the month of December is my favorite month of the year. It is the month that celebrates love worldwide.

The fall seasons and marriage

I love the fall because there is energy in the air.

We clean our closets and drawers by paring them down.  Energetically, we then fill them up with the newest style of fall makeup, colorful kitchen utensils, and of course new shoes and accessories. We sink our teeth into our calendars, putting in reminders for the coming months. Then we search Amazon for the best calendar for the new year. Social and charitable organizations gear up and we delve in and help.

There is a crispness in the air for outdoor walks, bike rides, and signing up for new classes. We recharge and wonder in anticipation if new acquaintances will enter our lives.

Fall is all about energy. I always feel its’ rush but also a bit melancholy because It’s the time of the year when the birds fly off to warmer weather, the trees begin to lay bare, the grass turns brown and flower beds rest empty. The days are shorter and the nights grow longer. I don’t find comfort in the change.

While I am in love with the different moods of the seasons, I am least in love with the fall of the year so I take this time of the year to rejuvenate and refresh myself, our home, and thoughts of what will be over the holidays with family togetherness and travel, fine-tuning my wardrobe and making a concerted effort to  ‘simply be’ as I logically think about a bucket list for the seasons, I love to celebrate, ahead

The winter seasons and marriage

Next up, there is Winter. I fall in love all over again with winter because of the holidays and fireplaces burning aglow. Love is in full bloom. I love winter because it is a time of love.

Families gather together for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Hanukkah. Winter is a time of giving to those in need and visiting our dear loved ones. We feel differently with the change of the seasons. Winter encompasses the time for celebrations and togetherness with unceasing love for family and friends.

The downsides of winter include shortened days and freezing weather. We women over 50 must flow with the days, be wisened in thought, be grateful for our blessings and give back to others in need.

The spring seasons and marriage

Spring represents harmony. Our windows fly open. The fresh air rushes in. Birds are again chirping and the branches of trees turn from brown to a stunning true green. Spring is definitely my favorite season of the year. To Life. To Life. To life.

It’s time to sweep our homes clean, replant our gardens and put our warm clothes away. Scrabble and other board games are shelved. We are back in harmony with the outdoors and nature.

I cover our bed with duvets in flowered designs and bring out my floral-patterned dishes. The winter clothes are then purged from my closet. I delight in brightening up my wardrobe with whites, florals, summer sandals, and my Panama hat.

I am one happy woman in harmony with spring. Once again I see flowers on my walks with America and green leaves bursting through previously bare branches.

People come out of hibernation, lavishing on the thought of once again going out into the world. They feast their eyes on a rebirth of nature and people they have not seen during the long winter months.

A breath of fresh air surrounds me, the days are getting longer and yes, you have guessed it–I never fall out of love with spring. It is my favorite time of the year.

The summer seasons and marriage

I fall in love with summer all over again, as it is a continuation of spring. Flowers burst out in fuller bloom and the branches of the tree are dressed in their finest greenery.

Lake Michigan, outside my window, looks like a sheet of sheer glass calming all of my senses. Sunrises occur earlier and sunsets take place each day much later. I smile more, walk more, and see more friends. I indulge myself in more shopping and travel more, and it seems I have a constant smile on my face. Life is breezier and lighter.


How marriage changes during retirement


The rotation of the seasons, the rotation of life and marriage

As we rotate out of the fall of the year into winter  I wonder, darlings, what our wheel of fortune will be. Certainly, we will have enjoyable times and inconveniences. Our inconveniences must be taken in stride. Our goal is to live each day to its fullest. We are women after 50 and in control of our destinies. Let’s make a plan to make life, delicious in 2023.


How marriage changes during retirement


What are the secrets of a happy marriage?

I have been asked, ‘What are the secrets to a happy marriage?”

Harmony sweet harmony.  Like the spring of the year;  sunshine, birds chirping, leaves sprouting- joy, laughter, and growing together.

In actuality: “We choose wisely. We put each other above all the rest. We always go to bed together. Every day we say, “I love you. On a lighter but serious note, we are on the same page, politically!”  That is my recipe.

  • Marrying the right man has a million perks – a million fringe benefits, darling. Marrying the wrong man creates a million problems – a  constant blizzard.
  • Putting others ahead of your spouse or significate others creates separation. Like the Red Sea parting!
  • Going to bed together is uniting and peaceful and a lovely way to end a day. A perfect sunset.
  • Saying I love you is like repeating your vows. The perfect rainbow.


I married the right man

I was lucky, I met and married the right man. He married the right woman. After 6 years of widowhood, he made a list of what he needed in a wife. I fit. Perfectly. He asked me to marry him on our first date. The perfect storm of positive emotion between us.

Because I married the right man, we’re two peas in a pod.  We click. When he is down ( almost never) I fill his cup. When I  am down (almost never), he fills mine. He gives 100% all the time. We respect one another, laugh together and never stay angry And, thank goodness, we are aligned politically, darling!!!

He is very rational (I love that) and I balance him out with my curiosity, lack of fear, and my need to live outside the box. We are the Ying and the Yang and that suits us fine. Like the seasons of the year, ever-changing and growing but grounded like the earth – like our marriage.

My heart melts as he walks through the door almost 32 years later. He has earned my devotion. When we are not together, ‘he is all around me’ every day of every month of every season of the year.


Let’s talk about it darling

I realize that many marriages are in fragile states. I know that many women over 50 are hanging in there for different reasons. I  know many of you reading this story wish you were in my shoes or would like to be eventually. Please reach out to me if you care to. And, please consider joining my private Facebook Group, Celebrate Life. The women at CL exchange thoughts constantly and are a lovely group of women. Remember there are Seasons… There are the reasons…There are the joys… 

December 11, 2022


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