“Fashion Fades; only style remains the same.“ – CoCo Chanel

The combination of a woman’s inner and outer style is, in essence, her biography. A woman with true style radiates a nonphysical inner beauty: grace, warmth, curiosity, and compassion. She carries herself with confidence and fuels the atmosphere with her energy. These intangible qualities (her glow, her aura) make up 80% of her style. She becomes a magnet, drawing others in. The remaining 20% is her outer look. After all, a dress is just a dress until a woman with inner beauty steps into it.

Style is not something that can be bought or borrowed. It is cultivated over time, shaped by the chapters of our lives… the joys, the sorrows, the lessons learned, and the resilience built along the way. A woman’s style tells the story of her journey. The clothes we choose, the accessories we cherish, and the way we walk into a room are merely the finishing touches to a much richer narrative: the biography of our soul. A woman with true style knows that her essence is what leaves a lasting impression, far beyond what the eye can see.

Love Yourself

To look your best, darling, you must first feel your best. Our goal is to love ourselves at every stage of life. Begin by being grateful and if you find yourself at a fork in the road, feeling a little blah, please tend to your inner soul. I’ve done this by expanding my horizons, embracing change with the seasons, asking for what I desire, acknowledging my blessings, cultivating awe, and not getting upset over trivial things.

Of course, I’ve had my troubles (like we all do), but looking back, I see that I persisted until my aha moment appeared and I found my path forward. There were times when I felt lost in the fog, unsure of the next step, doubting my strength, but with each stumble, I learned. I took two steps forward, one step back (sometimes, darling, it was two steps back!), but I kept going. That is what matters. I learned to quiet the noise around me and listen to my inner voice, the one that knows what I need most. Staying true to my inner self, that is my inner style. It’s not found in the mirror, but rather it’s found in the heart. That is what gives a woman her lasting glow.

Nourishing Your Soul

If you aren’t feeling your best, it may be time to make a change. Your soul is gently nudging you, whispering that it’s time to nourish yourself in new ways. Take up meditation, plan a trip (even a small one can shift your perspective), explore a new community, join a club, or start a hobby that sparks joy. Open the door to curiosity. Maybe it’s an art class, a cooking workshop, or volunteering for a cause dear to your heart. The key is to keep moving forward with purpose and feed your soul with experiences that bring light and meaning. When you do, you’ll find that your inner beauty shines brighter than ever, and that, my dear, is the foundation of true style.

I don’t spend time worrying about the gray in my hair or my age because there’s simply no time! I’ve called a truce with the clock and instead greet each new opportunity with open arms. I challenge myself, whether caring for my Ultimate Concierge or tackling a new project. My rule of thumb? Never let outer aging dampen the desire to live fully. That, my darlings, is every woman’s inner beauty: her soul.

Build Self-Esteem

When we were younger, self-confidence came in fits and starts. We learned through our triumphs and our mistakes. Though as we age, many women find their confidence waning because after 50, life brings profound changes. We retire, children leave the nest, we may face divorce or the loss of a spouse, and, yes, we age! These events can leave us feeling lonely, even invisible.

This is when you must turn inward and honor your inner beauty. Having walked this path, I know. I decided to age as exquisitely as possible by identifying with the part of me that does not age: my soul, my inner style. Everything I’ve done in my life has prepared me for a newfound purpose today. Isn’t that a lovely way to feel? It fills a woman with energy and puts a smile on her face.

Reflecting On My Youth

In my twenties, I joined a young leadership philanthropic group. In my thirties and forties in Honolulu, I chaired the women’s division of another organization. Later, in Chicago and California, I served on philanthropic boards. Today, through HoneyGood.com and my Facebook communities, I help women over 50 embrace self-care, navigate widowhood, and survive estrangement. Now, I proudly sit on the National Board of ZOA, the Zionist Organization of America, an honor born from my love for my heritage, the State of Israel, and my commitment to fighting antisemitism.

Each of these passions has not only enriched my soul but allowed me to contribute to the greater good by lifting others, standing up for what I believe in, and leaving a positive mark on the world around me. This, my darling, is the true secret to building self-confidence. When we engage in meaningful work that touches lives beyond our own, our inner beauty flourishes. From that well of inner strength and purpose springs a confident, stylish woman whose radiance cannot help but shine.

So, darling, take your time and reflect. Decide that life after 50 will be golden. When you align with your ageless inner self, aging becomes far less daunting. Find that purpose that fuels your soul and pursue it with everything you’ve got.

 

Being an Authentic Woman

I believe it is so important to be an authentic woman by being true to yourself. That, my darling, is your internal power, the engine that drives your train. If you’re having a hard time with the changes that come with aging, acknowledge those feelings. Sit with them and in time, you’ll find your way forward and discover how to shift with grace. I had a dear friend who left bustling Manhattan for a retirement community designed for vibrant living- and she thrived!

Here’s an assignment for you, one I gave myself and found challenging. I was asked by a magazine to write “Why I Am a Fierce Woman After 50.” The word fierce gave me pause. I even looked it up: having or displaying an intense or ferocious aggressiveness. Mortified, I asked friends what they thought of the word. “Awful!” they said.

As I pondered, something shifted. I realized that true fierceness has nothing to do with aggression. It’s about resilience, about standing tall through life’s storms with dignity and heart. It is about knowing who you are and living in harmony with your soul. That is the strength of a woman over 50. Once that truth dawned on me, I wrote my magazine piece in ten minutes flat, words flowing straight from my heart.

I truly and wholeheartedly believe every woman over 50 is fierce when she lives in harmony with her soul, her inner style.