Best Things to Do After a Breakup for Guys: A Comprehensive Guide

Let’s talk about the one thing you must do after a breakup…

It’s over. You forgot how excruciating breakups are. The minute you open your eyes in the morning, the heaviness rushes back into your chest and it hurts so much that you can barely breathe. That is if you’re lucky enough to be able to sleep at all. The emotional hurt you feel right now is completely normal, and it’s important to acknowledge that pain instead of trying to avoid it.

Almost everyone has this experience at least once. Life can be challenging and none of us gets through it without a few bruises. Unfortunately, heartache is part of the deal. If you’re a guy dealing with a breakup, know that these feelings are common and you’re not alone in facing them.

If you’re going through this right now, first of all, I’m sorry and I’m sending you love. I know how it is and I’ve been there. What matters now is that you have decided to take steps toward healing and moving forward, even if it feels difficult at first.

Mourn The Loss as Part of the Healing Process

One of the best things you can do for yourself and your future is to take the time to mourn your loss.

A breakup is a real loss and it can be difficult to navigate in the world in which we live. We’re often encouraged to just get over it and go out and find someone new. There isn’t much space for grieving in our culture in general. Understanding that breakups can trigger the 7 stages of grief—such as shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, testing, and acceptance—can help you make sense of your emotional responses during this time. Men may struggle longer to move on from breakups compared to women due to societal expectations. It often takes several weeks or even up to three months to start feeling better, and this is a normal part of the healing process.

There are no rituals for breakups, such as wakes or funerals. We’re usually expected to navigate these very real losses all alone.

Have a Relationship Funeral

Having a relationship funeral can help. Set aside some time to cry, feel sad, and say all the things you wanted to say to the person who broke your heart. You can light a candle, burn some incense, and write a letter to your ex (I don’t recommend that you send it, this is just for you). Use this letter as a chance to speak your feelings honestly, even if it’s just on paper. This advice applies whether your breakup was with an ex girlfriend or any other partner.

When you’ve written everything out, you can get up, shake it off, take a few deep breaths and write a letter to yourself from him. Say all the things you wish he would have said to you, such as; he really did love you, he’s sorry, he wishes you well.

Play some sad music, call a friend, let yourself lay face down on the floor and totally ruin your makeup. Have at it.

Write What You’re Thankful For & Your Lessons

When you’re done, you can pick yourself up and write out what you’re thankful for and what you learned, and say goodbye. These lessons can help you grow and build healthier relationships with your future partner. Therapy can help you work through your feelings and learn from your past relationship experiences.

You can burn the things you wrote outside and release them to the four winds, then go back inside and get some Epsom salt and light a Himalayan salt lamp. Get into the shower and scrub yourself with the salt. Start with your neck and go down. Then run a hot bath and sit and soak. This can be very soothing. Reaching this point in your healing journey is a meaningful milestone toward moving forward. Think about the last time you did something just for yourself or tried something new—now is a great opportunity to make that a priority.

There are no quick fixes for heartbreak, but these suggestions can help you process the loss. It sure beats burying the pain and having it come back later. Do yourself a favor and deal with it now. Your future self will thank you. Through this process, you may gain a new sense of self and understanding that will serve you well. Focus on personal growth by learning new skills, pursuing fitness goals, updating your wardrobe, or focusing on career advancement.

Please know that I’m pulling for you and that better days are coming soon. When you finally feel at peace, you’ll know you’ve truly moved on.

Focus on Self-Care

After a breakup, focusing on self-care is one of the most powerful things you can do to support your healing process. It’s completely normal to feel a whirlwind of negative emotions—sadness, anger, confusion, or even relief. Instead of pushing these feelings away, allow yourself to acknowledge and accept them. Giving yourself permission to feel emotional pain is an important step toward healing, and it’s okay to not be okay for a while.

Channeling your emotions into creative projects can be incredibly helpful. Whether it’s writing in a journal, painting, playing music, or even trying your hand at a new hobby, creative expression allows you to process your feelings and transform pain into something meaningful. Men often find it easier to connect through doing activities rather than just talking, and engaging in side-by-side activities with friends can provide an outlet for energy and social support without the pressure of forced conversation. If you’re feeling stuck, consider taking day trips or spending time in nature. Exploring new places and making new memories can help shift your focus away from your ex and remind you that there’s so much more to life beyond this difficult time.

It’s also important to stop blaming yourself—or your ex—for what happened. Breakups are rarely the fault of just one person, and holding onto anger or regret can keep you from moving forward. Some men may demonize their exes as a way to cope with the pain, but focusing on the present moment and the things you can control, like your own actions and emotions, is healthier. Remember, you have the power to shape your future, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.

Surround yourself with friends and family who care about you. Spending time with supportive friends can help you regain a sense of independence after a breakup, and engaging in social activities with friends can distract you from the pain and promote healing. Reconnecting with your parents can also provide emotional support and comfort during this time, helping you feel grounded and loved. Talking openly about your emotions with people you trust can provide comfort, advice, and a fresh perspective. Sometimes, just having someone listen can make all the difference.

If you find yourself constantly checking your ex’s social media or feeling sad and angry after scrolling through your feeds, consider taking a break. Blocking your ex on social media can help limit contact and reduce emotional distress, making it easier to move on. Men may also engage in social media ‘creeping’ to keep tabs on their exes, but this can prolong the healing process. Social media often shows only the highlights of people’s lives, not the reality, and comparing yourself to others can make the healing process even harder.

Taking care of your physical and mental health is just as important as tending to your emotions. Make sure you’re eating nutritious foods, getting enough sleep, and moving your body—whether that’s through exercise, yoga, or simply going for a walk. Take time to eat good food, either alone or with friends, as a form of self-care and enjoyment. Engaging in regular exercise helps release endorphins and manage stress, and physical activity is one of the most powerful recovery tools for men because it aligns with how they naturally process stress and change. If you’re struggling to cope, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor for support. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help, and so many people have found it helpful to talk to a professional during a bad breakup. Keep in mind that money can be a factor in accessing therapy—while in-person therapy may be preferable, financial constraints may limit your options.

Be patient and gentle with yourself. Healing doesn’t happen overnight—it may take weeks, months, or even longer before you feel ready to move on. But eventually, you’ll realize that you’ve grown stronger, wiser, and more resilient because of this experience. You’ll be able to look back and see how far you’ve come, and you’ll be ready to embrace new things and new relationships in the future.

For example, you might try writing down your thoughts and feelings each night, or spending more time with friends and family who lift you up. Maybe you’ll discover a new passion or revisit an old hobby that brings you joy. Establishing new routines helps rewire your brain and reduces obsessive rumination, and a consistent daily routine provides structure during this transition. Cleaning out or rearranging your living space, and removing items that remind you of your ex, can help create a fresh, independent environment. Whatever you choose, remember that you’re not alone—so many people have walked this path before you and come out the other side.

So, take a deep breath, focus on the present, and trust that you will get through this. With time, self-care, and support, you’ll become the best version of yourself, ready for whatever life has in store.

Building a Support Network

One of the most powerful things you can do after a breakup is to build a strong support network. When you’re dealing with emotional pain and negative emotions, having people around you who genuinely care can make all the difference in your healing process. Whether it’s friends, family, or even a professional therapist, surrounding yourself with supportive people helps you process your feelings, gain perspective, and realize you’re not alone in this difficult time.

Talking openly with friends and family about your breakup can be incredibly helpful. Sometimes, just having someone listen as you vent your anger, sadness, or confusion can lighten the load. Friends and family can offer advice, share their own experiences, and remind you that so many people have gone through similar heartbreak and come out stronger on the other side. If you’re not comfortable opening up to those close to you, consider joining a support group or an online community where you can connect with others who understand exactly what you’re going through in real life.

It’s also a great time to try new things and engage in creative projects or hobbies. Not only does this help you spend time doing something positive, but it’s also a chance to meet new people and create new memories that aren’t tied to your ex girlfriend or ex boyfriend. Whether it’s joining a sports league, taking a cooking class, or volunteering, these activities can help you focus on the present and the future, rather than dwelling on the past.

While it might be tempting to reach out to your ex for comfort, it’s usually best to resist that urge—especially if you want to stop thinking about them and move forward. Leaning on your support network instead can help you break the cycle of pain and start to heal. Remember, it’s absolutely normal to feel sad, angry, or even lost after a bad breakup, but you don’t have to go through it alone.

If you find that your emotions are overwhelming or you’re struggling to cope, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Speaking with a therapist can provide you with tools to manage your emotions, improve your mental health, and prepare you for a future partner when you feel ready to start dating again.

Ultimately, building a support network is about giving yourself the space and encouragement you need to become the best version of yourself. It’s okay to take things one day at a time and to ask for help when you need it. With the right people by your side, you’ll eventually stop blaming yourself or your ex, and you’ll be able to focus on healing, growth, and the exciting possibilities that lie ahead in your life. Remember, you’re not alone—so many people have been where you are, and with time, support, and self-care, you’ll get over a breakup and move forward with hope and confidence.

Have you recently gone through a breakup or heartbreak? What are some of your suggestions for dealing with it? We’d love to know. Please write your thoughts in the comments at the bottom of this page. 

Author bio: Renée Suzanne is a coach for smart, successful women who want to find love. She helps women go from heartbroken to happily married. She believes that true love is possible for anyone who’s willing to create the conditions in her life for it to flourish. She’s been featured in The Huffington Post, Glamour, and Tiny Buddha. When she’s not saving women’s love lives you may find her curled up on the couch with a glass of wine and a good book or out on a hike with her husband. Her two books, “Beloved – How to go from relationship challenged to relationship-ready” and “Ten things you can do to upgrade your love life” are available on Amazon. Want more love in your life? Check out her free audio course at reneesuzannecoaching.com.

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