How To Beat It

If you’re wondering how to deal with loneliness after 50, the answer is to take active steps to create connection—with people, pets, and meaningful activities—while also clarifying your purpose, bringing more joy into daily life, and being honest about how you feel. There are so many lonely people in the world, and for those of you in lonely marriages, living alone, divorced, or widowed, loneliness after 50 is common and can quietly wear down your emotional well-being and quality of life.

But I am here to tell you there are several ways of combating loneliness after 50, and they include practical steps such as joining groups, making new friends, adopting a pet, and seeking out more social interaction, along with deeper inner work around purpose and positivity. Ultimately, the solution lies within you—but it also grows through the connections and actions you choose to make.

Through Connections

I have found that the way to combat the feeling of loneliness is through connections. And, I do not necessarily mean with people. Of course, nothing is lovelier than the love between a man and a woman, a child and a parent and adult friends. Unfortunately, for some, these relationships are burdened with problems.

Back when my beloved pooch Orchid was with us, every day at 6 a.m., I would have to give her four pills. After each one, I would give her nose a kiss and tell her how much I loved her. Then, I would hug her and tell her that the pills would make her well. Darling, I felt overwhelmed with love as she stared up at me with her big black eyes, as if to say, “I understand.” We were loyal companions. I am engulfed in joy at the memory of her love and my love for her. When I think of love like ours, I am anything but lonely.

I Am Happy

As I walk into my living room, sit down at my computer, and stare out the windows to watch a magnificent sun rising in the East over the lake, I feel a strong and happy emotion as I watch the sun burst out of the lake and reconnect me with the outside world in a positive way. Darling, I am anything but lonely. I am captivated by this view. And, I am happy. This daily ritual supports my mental health and deepens my happiness.

How To Beat Loneliness After 50

Dear readers, there are many ways to combat loneliness after 50. First and foremost, if you are dealing with this, you have to put on your big girl panties, step a little outside your comfort zone, and take positive action.

Buy a four-legged friend, pick up the phone and make a date with a person or persons you enjoy, take classes or join a choir, join a church or synagogue, join a book club, talk about your loneliness to a best friend or professional, be friendly in a group and start a conversation, go on a group tour, reconnect with an old friend…or even join my private Facebook group, GRANDwomen with Moxie – Where Loneliness Disappears!

The point is to take small steps that help you deal with loneliness and make new friends without setting lofty goals.

Clarify Your Purpose and Pursue It

Darling, you must clarify your purpose in life and then pursue the passions and interests that give it meaning. Make sure you are not clinically depressed, and if persistent loneliness begins to affect you, address it seriously because it can increase the risk of depression and anxiety.

As well, I want you to realize you do not need a partner. I am remembering how lonely I felt when I lost my late husband, and prolonged loneliness can harm mental health and lead to wider health issues. At the time, I lived in my beautiful Honolulu. Looking back twenty-seven years ago I remember how I began to heal. I surrounded myself with things I loved. A lanai filled with orchids. An apartment at the sea. And, a Koi pond filled with beautiful fish beneath my apartment, my daughter Jenny moved in, my dog at the time Mahalo, my favorite book, How to Survive the Loss of a Love, my four-mile walks each day with my pooch, all of which helped restore my sense of control and energy. I even had a romance with ‘time.’ Time heals and time became my friend.

When I was a little girl and lived in Kankakee by the Sea, at times, I felt lonely because I was in a minority. But, I learned to accept my circumstances, played with my storybook dolls and wrote in my diary. Neither was human and yet they brought me joy and I was happy, not always lonely.

Bring Joy Into Your Life

As older adults age, we have time to think about what makes us tick. In fact, 27% of Americans 60 and over live alone. What arouses positive feelings for you? Bring more of that into your life! It supports your health, and chronic loneliness can lower immune system function and increase heart disease risk.

I love to watch the sun come up, walk through my home and glance at my books and cherished gifts from family and friends, or look at photos of those I love, and smell fresh coffee brewing in my kitchen… A short walk adds physical activity and a healthy rhythm to the day.

Darling, always be grateful for the good in your life and you will be happier and less lonely.

So, if you are feeling lonely because you are without a soul mate, latch onto other types of loves. Remember, loneliness is a state of mind that comes from forgetting what makes you content and happy. If you are feeling isolated or experiencing loneliness that feels like deep loneliness rather than simply being alone, explore supportive activities or a community because staying home too much can make some people feel worse and add to social isolation, while connection also brings real health benefits.

Dear readers, how do you combat loneliness after 50? Let’s talk! I want so much to hear your opinions + feelings. I think we have a responsibility to share our wisdom, don’t you? Share yours either in the comments below or on Facebook and Instagram.

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