In honor of International Women’s Day, we’d like to talk about 12 Steps to increase your self-worth. Why? Because all women deserve to become their best selves. Let’s get started!

Self-worth exists at the very core of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

It impacts everything from how you see yourself, how you manage your relationships with other people, and just how much belief and confidence you have in your abilities. Self-worth is often mistakenly tied to external factors such as your bank account, job title, or appearance, but these do not define your true value. While ability can influence your self-confidence, your worth is not defined by your performance or skills in any one area.

Low self-worth can have dire consequences such as:

• Negative feelings that put you in a state of perpetual anger
• Fear
• Shame
• Sadness
• Guilt
• Anxiety
• Depression

Self-worth can fluctuate based on external circumstances, but it is important to cultivate an internal sense of value that is not dependent on these factors.

While these can badly affect your quality of life, the tips below will help you take charge of your own self-worth!

What is Self-Worth and Why Does It Matter?

Self-worth is the internal sense that you are a valuable and deserving human being, worthy of love, respect, and acceptance—simply because you exist. It’s a core part of your identity and shapes how you see yourself, how you interact with others, and how you move through life. When you have a healthy sense of self-worth, you’re able to approach challenges with self-confidence, nurture meaningful relationships, and practice self-compassion, even when things don’t go as planned.

A strong sense of self-worth is essential for your overall well-being. It allows you to feel fulfilled, to recognize your own value, and to develop a positive sense of self. When you believe you are worthy, you’re more likely to set healthy boundaries, pursue your goals, and treat yourself with kindness. In this article, we’ll explore why self-worth matters so much, and how you can build and maintain a healthy sense of self-worth in your own life.

Understanding the Impact of Low Self-Worth

Low self-worth can deeply affect every area of your life. When you struggle with low self-worth, you may find yourself caught in a cycle of negative thoughts and feelings of inadequacy. This can lead to a lack of self-confidence and make it difficult to feel worthy of love, success, or happiness. Relationships can suffer, too, as low self-worth often causes people to seek constant external validation—whether through approval from others, material possessions, or external achievements like job titles or accolades.

Relying on these external factors to feel worthy can create a never-ending loop, where your sense of self-worth fluctuates based on what’s happening around you, rather than coming from a deep sense of value within. Over time, this focus on external validation can leave you feeling empty and disconnected from your true self. Recognizing the impact of low self-worth is the first step toward breaking this cycle and building a more stable, internal sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on outside influences.

1.  Minimize Negative Inner Self-Talk

Self-talk basically is the inner voice in your head that comes from the dialogues you have with yourself.

While a critical inner voice can help us stay motivated to our goals and making smart decisions, it can be quite harmful when this voice becomes overly negative.

Minimizing this negative self-talk can greatly boost your self-worthiness

To contain this negativity, you need to realize that the thoughts and feelings in your head may not be the reality. You need to stop being your own worst enemy and critic. It’s time to shift your perspective and start thinking as a friend to yourself.

You won’t tell a good friend you don’t think they’ll ever succeed. Will you? So, why say things like these to yourself? Remember, believing there is something inherently wrong with you is a negative thought shaped by internal criticism or societal standards, not a reflection of your true self. Challenge this belief and reframe it—embrace your imperfections as part of your self-acceptance.

2. Be More Positive

Being more positive is a powerful way to build your self-worth. Instead of focusing on your shortcomings or past failures, try to recognize and celebrate your positive qualities, accomplishments, and strengths. Practicing self-acceptance and self-compassion means treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a good friend. When you notice negative self-talk creeping in, gently remind yourself of your worth and shift your focus to what you do well.

Surrounding yourself with supportive people who encourage positive self-talk and self-acceptance can also make a big difference. These relationships help reinforce a healthy sense of self-worth and remind you that you are valued just as you are. Remember, everyone has setbacks, but choosing to focus on your growth and positive attributes will help you develop a stronger, more resilient sense of self.

2.  Being More Positive

Once you’ve tried to minimize negativity, it’s time to boost positivity.

This is important because your opinion about yourself matters a lot. Both of these processes are vital to helping you evaluate and shape your self-image and perception, both of which are important to increase your self-worthiness.

According to Coaching Online, feeling more relaxed and confident in your abilities will help boost positivity. On days when you have flashbacks of missed opportunities or feelings of regret, it’s important to not let these weigh you down. Rather, take a conscious effort to shift your thinking and actions towards a more positive direction.

Maintaining hope for positive change can help sustain a positive outlook and support your journey to greater self-worth.

3. Be Proud of Yourself

When you’re proud of yourself, you are more likely to have a great passion for life.

People who are proud of themselves feel much more content and grateful, and often turn out to be excellent motivators for other people. Above all, these people have a strong sense of self-worthiness and self-esteem. But how exactly can you learn to be more proud of yourself? Here are some tips to help;

• Acknowledge your successes, no matter how small they seem.
• Be proud of your efforts so far as well as how far you’ve come.
• Don’t judge yourself with your failures because failure in itself means you’re trying.
• Finally, visualize yourself achieving the successes and goals you crave, but remember that your self-worth is not dependent on what you achieve—it’s about valuing yourself unconditionally.

4. Practice Affirmations

Practicing affirmations and making it a regular habit can help boost your sense of self-worth, and this is based on a well-established psychological theory. Affirmations are even more effective when they are grounded in knowledge of your true strengths and positive qualities. These positive affirmations can go a long way to help reinforce your competence and self-confidence.

5. Kick Anxiety Out of Your Life

Studies have shown that women are twice as likely to experience anxiety disorder compared to men. While hormonal difference has been identified as one of the common causes of this, letting it linger for far too long can take a toll on your mental health. Many people are struggling with anxiety and self-worth, and seeking help is a sign of strength.

Some ways to avoid anxiety include:

• Taking conscious actions to worry less and avoid overthinking about the future.
• Talking through your worries with friends, relatives, your family doctor, or a counselor.
• Dedicate more time to yourself to meditate or have quiet moments, and
• Sleep more often and get more rest.

6. Give Yourself Time to Heal From Pain

Emotional pain, like physical pain, also needs time for recovery.

For some people, the pain could be so much that it consumes them to the point where it’s all they can think about. This emotional pain is often felt deeply and can impact your sense of self-worth, but healing is possible. This emotional state can mess up with our sense of self-worthiness, so recovery is quite important. The other important thing is that you will pass through the doorway of grief to heal these emotional and mental wounds. So, running from this would be counterproductive. It’s always better to give yourself the time, space, and energy to overcome this pain.

7. Change Your Attitude Towards Yourself

Your self-perception can impact your attitude towards yourself.

Take time to reflect on oneself and recognize your inherent value.

And because you need approval from yourself more than from anyone else, you’ll need to start developing good thoughts, feelings, and attitudes towards yourself.

Eliminate thoughts that belittle or put you down and give way for more encouraging feelings and attitudes towards yourself. You’ll need to see value in yourself before you can make others see it.

8. Surround Yourself With The Right People

Studies have shown that feelings and emotions such as anger, fear, guilt, happiness, and more are transferable. Many people struggle with self-worth, and being around supportive individuals can make a significant difference. So, you must avoid surrounding yourself with people who can project their own negative feelings onto you. Rather, surround yourself with people who have positive views about life who can inspire positivity in you. Remember, negativity will only drag you back.

9. Don’t Make Your Self-Worth Dependent On Others

Self-worth is more about how you value yourself than how others see you. The world often sends messages about what makes someone worthy, but true self-worth comes from within. So, there’s no reason why societal expectations and other external influences should be the standard by which you define yourself.

People who have a deep-seated sense of worth pay little to no attention to what people say about them. Doing this will help you avoid negativities that could affect your self-esteem.

10. Go Out On Dates

Going out on dates can help boost your self-confidence, according to a study by a university professor. Building healthy self-worth can positively influence your relationship with others, helping you set boundaries and maintain emotional well-being. If you can fit more of this into your routines, seeing yourself through the eyes of the people who care about you on these occasions can help boost your self-worth. This is probably because it can help you to better appreciate your unique qualities and perspectives.

11. Exercise More Often

Science says regular exercise can also help boost your self-image.

Engaging your body in regular movement not only improves physical health but also enhances your self-worth and mental well-being. According to reliable data, exercising more often can help you feel and actually look much stronger and self-assured. Being present in the moment during exercise allows you to fully experience its benefits for self-worth. It’s also believed to help relieve stress and boost your overall health and sense of well-being.

12. Love Yourself More

We can’t stress this enough, but self-love is directly proportional to self-worth.

The process to build self worth can start in childhood and is important for children and adults alike. Experiences at school can greatly influence a child’s self-worth and self-esteem, shaping how they view themselves. Low self esteem can affect many areas of our lives, but there are many factors that contribute to self-worth, including our upbringing, relationships, and environment. Practicing self acceptance is essential as you work on building your self-worth—embrace your authentic self and let go of unrealistic expectations. Feeling worthy helps you feel good about yourself and supports emotional well-being. Remember, self-worth impacts all aspects of our lives, not just our achievements or how many friends we have. Many people have hoped to feel more worthy by achieving certain things, but true self-worth comes from within. The truth is, your inherent worth is not defined by external validation or social comparisons. Try practical ideas for building self-worth, such as positive self-talk, setting small goals, and celebrating your progress—having an idea of your own value is the first step.

The more love you develop for yourself, the more value you tend to attach to your person. So, getting back your self-love is vital towards boosting your self-worth.

Building your self-worth is a gradual process that will take time, depending on where you are, mentally. As you take action to build your self-worth and start believing in yourself again, understand that you need to be patient with yourself. Be more compassionate and forgiving towards yourself. And be generous to yourself. Having a strong sense of self-worth is not vanity. It’s pure sanity, and every woman should have it!

Characteristics of Healthy Self-Worth

Healthy self-worth is rooted in a deep sense of self-acceptance, self-respect, and self-compassion. When you have healthy self-worth, you recognize both your strengths and your areas for growth, and you accept yourself without harsh judgment. This internal sense of value isn’t swayed by external factors like material possessions, job titles, or the opinions of others. Instead, it comes from within—a belief that you are worthy simply because you are you.

People with healthy self-worth are able to form and maintain relationships based on mutual respect, trust, and open communication. They approach challenges with resilience and confidence, knowing that setbacks do not define their value as a person. By nurturing your own healthy self-worth, you create a strong foundation for facing life’s ups and downs, and for building meaningful, supportive connections with others.

Overcoming Obstacles to Personal Growth

Personal growth is a journey, and overcoming obstacles along the way is essential for building and maintaining healthy self-worth. Start by becoming aware of negative thoughts and beliefs that may be holding you back. Challenge these thoughts and replace them with positive, affirming beliefs about your own worth and abilities. Practicing self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-compassion will help you feel worthy, even when life feels challenging.

Don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone or to seek support from friends, family members, or mental health professionals. Sometimes, a gentle reminder from a loved one can help you remember that you are not alone in your struggles, and that you deserve to feel valued and fulfilled. By facing challenges head-on and embracing opportunities for growth, you can strengthen your sense of self-worth and create a more meaningful, satisfying life.

About the author: Bijan Kholghi is the founder of www.coaching-online.org and a life coach with special psychological education in Hypno-systemic coaching. His teacher Dr. Gunther Schmidt is the founder of Milton Erickson Institute in Heidelberg (Germany), a direct student of Milton H. Erickson, and a leading figure in psychotherapy education in Europe. His highly effective coaching and therapy method help people getting aware of their unconscious pattern and gaining control over them. This leads to a more fulfilled and happier life.