With all my heart I believed that taking the high road was the end-all in any given situation. I am beginning to backtrack because I believe that in certain instances taking the high road is an excuse for being compliant or lacking negotiation skills. As well, a way for women of our generation to be silent in interpersonal relationships, in the workplace, and in society; for lack of a better phrase to stay in ‘our place’. The young woman of today has gone in the opposite direction. And, many have no boundaries. Therefore, it stands to reason there is a happy medium.

A Change In My Belief of Taking the High Road

The woman who takes the high road is glorified in many societies for maintaining the self-control to walk away from a confrontation. Through my personal experiences, I believe there is a time to walk away and a time to take a stand. Therefore, I have had a change of heart. The fact that I can pivot away from something I was taught and believed in is very refreshing. I have come to realize that taking the high road can get twisted because in certain situations one’s silence suppresses feelings that are detrimental to your health.

If you are falsely demeaned, professionally or with family or friends, you are faced with three choices. You can let it go and carry a negative load of weight on your shoulders. You can let it go because it feels right, or you can take action. Taking action can be difficult for women who lack skill in the art of negotiation.

I Used to Always Take the High Road

Until recently, with my family and friends, I took the high road. And more often than not this approach served me well because I walked away feeling positive and powerful. Not engaging myself in negativity with others gave me a feeling of pride and self-respect.

But I must admit I have experienced a few dreadful situations where I was totally caught off guard, where a lightbulb should have gone off! Obviously, at the time, I thought I was acting in an appropriate manner… taking the high road. But as I have mentioned, I am now of the opinion that there are times one must roar back to protect their name, legacy, and personal happiness.

But, I admit I have a problem holding people accountable. I forgive easily and I forget 99.9% of the time. The problem is not everyone thinks as I do. Unfortunately, there are many people out there who are callous and cruel or dishonest, etc… In those instances, you should not take the high road.

It’s Okay Not to Take the High Road

Darling, there are those situations where you should not sit idly by when another person is on a mission to personally harm you. The person is usually someone you know well. When the confrontation occurs you are naturally upset by their actions. But still, you have a tendency to give them a second chance and you take the high road. Hopefully, if they persist it dawns on you that you have every right to show your anger; that anger is an assertion of your rights and is an expression of your self-worth.

Ultimately you will have to make personal judgment calls.

I Believe…

Every person, family, friend, or business acquaintance who maligns another person’s reputation and legacy unfairly will eventually be held accountable by observers.

Every person who tries to ruin your reputation or legacy will learn there are consequences for their poor behavior.

I believe…

You must be perceptive. Learn to identify how toxic the person is. If they are consistent in their behavior, stay away!

Examine your role. Did you do or say something? Then, stand up to them politely.

I believe…

Toxic people create drama by making a small problem into a large problem. They refuse to take responsibility. They are cunning and devious. As well, they have up and down behavior patterns. They are jealous and carry anger. And, they are envious.

I believe…

Darling, I have gotten angry with myself for taking the high road. I wanted to lash out and defend myself. I didn’t. Instead, after I calmed down, I realized the person who is on the attack is not admired by those in his or her circle. They know the truth. They know who I am and how I conduct myself. So, why would I stoop to the angry person’s level? I won’t. And, I never will. I know who I am. Darling, I am smiling.

The One Exception

There is one exception. If the perpetrator has a plot in mind to destroy you at work, within a group of friends, or within your family, take an immediate stand because these people have serious emotional problems and lack a moral code of ethics. This happened to me and I learned the hard way. I can promise you I will never let this happen to me again.

The sun is shining in my beautiful Chicago on this cold winter day. I am looking forward to a lovely weekend with my Ultimate Concierge and my pooch, America. We are going out for dinner with close friends tomorrow night and I am in a good place within the four walls of our apartment in the sky. With a very watchful eye and listening ear, I am taking in everything that is going on outside my four walls in Elsewhere. I hope you are, too. Americans will take the high road to a point. For now, I will leave it at that. Sending my friendship and love.

When do you think it is and is not appropriate to take the high road? Let me know what you think in the comments at the bottom of this page. I want to hear from you!