“Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves: even when we risk disappointing others.”—Brene Brown.

I love the word love. Without love there would be no joy in my life. In my world, true love has no boundaries. What I especially love about love is that there are all degrees of love to tap into. Passionate love, compassionate love, unselfish love, philanthropic love, pleasurable love, patriotic love, devoted love for children and doting love for pets, the love of success and the love of friendship, and lastly, to be able to love with no boundaries you must have …  love of self.

It is essential to hold onto meaningful relationships and core values—grapple them unto thy soul—as this deep connection fosters authenticity and integrity in the journey of self-love.

To bloom and feel visible and love others after 50, love of self is mandatory. How you regard yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.

I have been living a diverse and emotional odyssey for 50-plus years, and I love my life. My emotional odyssey over the years was my greatest teacher. I learned in my late 30s and early 40s that focusing on my faults and dwelling on my insecurities was emotionally unhealthy. By the time I was in my early 40s, I had moved my family across the ocean to Honolulu, Hawaii, made a new life, ran large charitable campaigns and suddenly, with no warning, became a widow.

This journey has been marked by continual progress in self-improvement and the pursuit of personal virtue, reminding me that growth is an ongoing process.

Meeting and surmounting each challenge raised my level of self-confidence, and at 45 years of age, I came into my own.

Grieving over the sudden loss of my husband forced me for the first time in my life to look inward and think about myself and my feelings as I mourned. At 45, I learned the importance of self-love. Self-love is not being selfish; rather it is a reliable gauge to your true self. I wanted to be alone and I was. I wanted to move out of our home and live in an apartment by the sea and I did. I did not want to talk on the phone or accept invites to be with friends and I didn’t. I learned the importance of valuing the “me in me.”  Shakespeare turned advice into poetry: “This above all else, to thine own self, be true.”

In Hamlet, Shakespeare’s plays offer timeless wisdom through the famous polonius advice delivered in Act I, Scene 3. In this scene, Polonius, as a father, gives a speech to his son Laertes before he leaves for France, and also counsels his daughter Ophelia. The speech is interesting for its blend of practical and moral guidance, such as “apparel oft proclaims the man,” warning about how outward appearance reflects character, and “give thy thoughts no tongue,” advising discretion. Polonius urges Laertes, “thou canst not then be false to any man,” emphasizing the point that being true to oneself ensures honesty with others. The advice, filled with Elizabethan language—using words like thee, thou character, and thou familiar—touches on social conduct, warning against means vulgar behavior. He also cautions about borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry and the importance of paying debts. Polonius ends his speech with a heartfelt “farewell,” likening truth to the certainty of “as night the day.” The speech hath become a classic, with Polonius acting as both a lord and a father, and its point remains relevant: the benefit of self-awareness, the risk of being false, and the impact of man’s censure on reputation. The advice is often heard but not always followed, yet its focus on soul and integrity continues to resonate.

It is so important, darlings, to remember that your life is yours alone.

When women you know see that you live your life by what makes you happy they may think you are selfish or antisocial. But those women who get it and practice self-love by being true to themselves will respect you. I think many women — many people — live by what they think others expect of them. Do you? If you do it is not too late to shift your thinking. Let thy memory of important lessons and values guide you, and remember always to be true to yourself. Read some books on self-love. Talk to women you know who know the importance of dancing to their own music. Seek out leaders, not followers. Seek out women who light up a room and stand proudly because they feel their power. They know that self-love opens the door to real love for all who touch their lives.

The Power of Wise Decision-Making After 50

As we journey through life, especially after 50, the wisdom we’ve gathered becomes one of our greatest assets. The phrase “to thine own self be true” takes on new meaning, guiding us to make decisions that reflect our authentic self and honor our unique path. With each passing year, our ability to reserve thy judgment and trust thy voice grows stronger, allowing us to navigate choices with a sense of calm assurance.

This discernment is a blessing season of maturity—a gift that blossoms as we learn to listen to our own self, rather than the noise of the world. We become more attuned to what truly matters, and less likely to be swayed by fleeting trends or the opinions of others. Shakespeare’s words remind us to avoid the primrose path of hasty decisions, encouraging us to pause, reflect, and act in alignment with our values and character.

Financial wisdom is also part of this journey. “Neither a borrower nor a lender be,” Polonius advises in Hamlet, and it’s advice that rings true at any age. By being mindful of thy purse and ensuring that costly thy habit matches our means, we protect our independence and peace of mind. Wise decision-making, whether in relationships, finances, or daily life, is about honoring thine own self—choosing truth over convenience, and integrity over impulse.

In the end, the best rank we can achieve is not measured by material wealth, but by the richness of our experiences, the strength of our character, and the depth of our relationships. By trusting our inner compass and embracing the wisdom we’ve earned, we ensure that our life’s course remains true, meaningful, and uniquely our own.

How trusting your inner compass leads to choices that honor your true self, and why discernment is a gift that grows with age.

Financial Responsibility as Self-Respect

Financial responsibility is more than just balancing a checkbook—it’s a profound act of self-respect and a reflection of being true to thine own self. When we manage our resources with care, we honor our values, our goals, and the life we wish to create. This means listening to thy voice when making financial decisions, and remembering the timeless wisdom that “loan oft loses both itself and friend.”

Shakespeare’s plays are filled with good advice, and Polonius’ counsel to “give every man thy ear, but few thy voice” is especially relevant in financial matters. By being thoughtful and discerning—man thy ear, but speak thy voice with care—we avoid the pitfalls of impulsive spending or risky loans that can dull thy palm and strain relationships. Financial prudence allows us to maintain our dignity and independence, ensuring that our actions align with our true self.

Avoiding unnecessary debt and living within our means is not just practical—it’s empowering. It frees us from worry, allows us to support the friends thou hast, and gives us the confidence to pursue our passions without fear. By making wise choices with our money, we reinforce our sense of self-worth and set an example for those we love.

Ultimately, financial responsibility is a cornerstone of a life well-lived. It supports our ability to give generously, to enjoy the fruits of our labor, and to walk our path with confidence and grace. In all things, let us remember: to thine own self be true, in finances as in life, and the rewards will be both itself and a blessing to all we touch.

What Happens When You Have Self Love Over 50:

• When you have self-love you have the courage to set boundaries for yourself even when you risk disappointing others.
• When you have self-love your self-confidence grows, making you happier because you feel self-worth.
• When you have self-love you want to take care of yourself. This is powerful.
• When you have self-love you will compare yourself less to others.
• When you have self-love you will have an open heart to give your love to others.
• When you have self-love you’ll know when to say “no.”

Self-love can also help you discover a job or calling that aligns with your true self and higher purpose.

It is never too late to make a big positive change in your life. Give yourself credit when you should. Try trusting your instinct. Work out and get yourself in shape so you feel self-love. Challenge yourself to try something you have always wanted to do or a new interest that excites you. Keep a journal!!

It is a wonderful feeling when you feel good about yourself. It is self-love at its best.