Yesterday was a day filled with adventure and excitement. I called one of my closest friends, Sheila. I chose her and not Emily, Sharon, Gail, or Cherye because her brother is a psychoanalyst. When we spoke, I told her I felt like a person who suffered from PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder. I was crying.

“Why do you feel as you do? Because of your kids?”

“Yes,” I replied.

Needless to say, she was shocked when I mentioned I feel like a person who suffers from PTSD, but so was I. The thought entered my mind because it hit me how long I have tried to understand and cope with the estrangement from my family. It has been 7 years and the loss has been emotionally exhausting and even strangling. I am worn out from sadness. It is beyond difficult to believe this is happening.

I continued…

“I tell Shelly every day how sad I feel. That I have become forgetful. This morning, I forgot to go to my manicure and I thought we had theater tickets for the theatre last night when they are for next week. I know this is not dementia. It is exhaustion from years of stress.”

Continuing, I say, “I am not allowed to know my great-granddaughter. I know I do not deserve this. Feelings of sadness, loss, bewilderment, and despair consume me. I want help. Please call your brother and ask him if he knows anyone who deals in this area of this type of loss who can help me. I don’t know anyone.”

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INTRODUCTION TO EMPOWERMENT

Empowerment is a vital aspect of becoming a fierce woman, as it enables individuals to take control of their lives, think for themselves, and make their own decisions. According to Kimberly Wagner, a true woman is someone who embodies strength, courage, and confidence, and is not afraid to speak truth to power and challenge societal norms. The True Woman blog and publishing line have been instrumental in spreading God’s glory and encouraging women to reveal God’s truth in their own lives. By embracing their own fierce beauty and trusting God, women can reveal God’s truth and become beautifully fierce, making a lasting impact on the world.

They pursue their passions and interests freely, as seen in the True Woman publishing line. Confident women exhibit focused boldness in their pursuits, balancing strength and humility as they live according to biblical principles.

CHARACTERISTICS OF A CONFIDENT WOMAN

A confident woman embodies strength, courage, and self-assurance in every aspect of her life, much like the fierce women Kimberly Wagner speaks of. She is a trailblazer, capable of finding her own way and creating paths for others to follow, tearing down walls and breaking through doors, as celebrated in the True Woman blog.

Confident women are responsible and accepting of their actions, never willing to carry someone else’s guilt. This is the essence of being a soft warrior. They are not cowards; they speak up, speak out, and make themselves heard, echoing Kimberly Wagner’s life message. Making tough decisions, whether it’s switching jobs, seeing a therapist, or ending a toxic relationship, is part of embracing one’s divine calling.

These women are not confined by societal expectations or traditional feminine norms. They pursue their passions and interests freely, as seen in the True Woman publishing line. They take control of their lives, think for themselves, and make their own decisions, embodying the spirit of being gently fierce.

Confident women are unapologetically themselves, even if it means going against the status quo. They spread God’s glory through their actions and words, valuing their independence, autonomy, and self-expression. They inspire and empower others, much like the strong women featured on the Hearts Radio program.

In essence, a confident woman is a beacon of strength and inspiration, leading by example and encouraging others to embrace their own fierce spirit.

CLIMBING THE FIRST STEP

Then, my long-time friend replied, “I am having dinner with my brother tonight. It is his birthday. I will call you in the morning with a name. I love you like a sister after knowing you for 32 years. This is not about you. And I know the players. I am older than you and I will venture to say they will be very sorry one day. You know the saying: Monkey see. Monkey do.” Need I say more?

I got off the phone and was glad I took positive action. The support from my friends provides much grace in my journey toward healing. I want to try my best to climb the stairs out of my sad and heart-wrenching dilemma.

“The inner resonance of forgiveness rings deeply within. Forgiveness is a virtue. It provides a person with a grand reward. To forgive another is profound relief and spiritual joy. It is a gift you reward to yourself. Ironically, the curse of estrangement led me to value the virtue of forgiveness to all.” — Honey Good

Adult children who are estranged from their parents is an epidemic. If you are an estranged parent I understand you are experiencing severe emotional loss. What I want you to know is that you are not alone. I have studied the statics and it is mind-boggling. And most of you, like myself, don’t know or understand the reason behind the estrangement.

I am glad I am a woman who is open; who shows her vulnerability. So many women hide behind an invisible mask. They pretend that all is well.  Nobody has it all, darling. Nobody. My suggestion is to stop hiding. Be the you in you. Everyone has situations. It is a fact of life.

Read more about my struggle with adult child and grandparent estrangement, here.

TODAY IS ANOTHER DAY

I am feeling better today. When l tell you this, I mean it. Every day of my life has several bouts of joy. My joy always overpowers my sadness. It is about one’s attitude, darling.

I received a call from Sheila, my long-time friend. She never forgets to remember. She gave me a name to call. I will follow through and I am hopeful that I can learn how to accept and live with what I cannot change. One level at a time, I will climb the stairs until I find peace.

It is a beautiful sunny day in my ‘once upon a time’ beautiful Chicago. I watch the sun rise up over a beautiful and calm Lake Michigan. I gaze at my new jade plant in my window and I smile.

Suddenly, my pooch America races into the room, jumps into my chair, and begins kissing me profusely. “OMG, I tell him, I love you so much!” I kiss him back with several kisses and hug him close to me. I have already had two bouts of joy and it is 6:00 am. Lucky me.

Ultimately, I tell myself, my cloud will lift when I resolve how to handle bouts of sadness. The estrangement of my family hangs around my neck and, let’s face it, their neck too. I have hope and now I have dreams. Embracing a gentle spirit, I now know I will have help climbing the stairs, finding peace and joy along the way. My third bout of joy of the day.

I ASK MYSELF WHY

Furthermore, I have struggled with both of my long-time friend daughters at one point or another. One daughter tells me she revered me and the other told me, “You will never know how much I love you” only later to ostracize and reject me. Go figure.

They have had their disappointments. They experienced despair in their lives. Their father passed away suddenly. I remarried. Our close family became a blended family and alas changed, forever.

The past seven years have been very difficult. One daughter loves me one year and then decides not to talk to me the next year. The other daughter is gone. Birthdays, holidays, trips I will never take with them, not seeing my grandchildren mature into adults, grandchildren placed in the position of choosing sides. Grandchildren losing their grandmother, and wondering what I did wrong to create this situation, plagues me daily.

Not a day goes by that I do not think about my problem and seek the truths God imparts to navigate the emotional impact of estrangement. Not a day goes by that I don’t crave their love. Not a day goes by when a small wave of sadness engulfs me. I have my cloud.

I also have love from others, a ton of resilience and I am grateful for all my blessings. Daily, I smile. I am productive and creative and appreciative.

And, fortunately, I have a devoted husband and the Good family children. I love them. It is ironic that my Ultimate Concierge’s family cares about me and that includes my sister and brother-in-law and their children — while my family has vanquished me from their lives. A loss for all.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM MY EXPERIENCE

Through her own life story, Kimberly Wagner has learned the importance of being a soft warrior, who is strong and gentle, yet meek and humble. She believes that women embodying both fierceness and humility, or as she puts it, fierce and humble can, is essential for building strong relationships and leaving a lasting legacy. Wagner’s experience has also taught her the value of embracing vulnerability and being open to transformation, as she has seen firsthand how God can change a destructive relationship dynamic into a beautiful and sacred role. As a frequent guest on the Hearts Radio program, Wagner has shared her story with many women, encouraging them to dig deep and find their own fierce spirit.

WHAT I LEARNED FROM MY OWN LIFE STORY

I adopted the philosophy that every negative experience leaves us with a positive lesson, much like the wisdom shared by a long-time friend.

What I have taken away from this experience. To Forgive — always. The continual pursuit of personal growth and understanding is essential in navigating life’s challenges and supporting others on their faith journeys.

FORGIVENESS

Next, let’s dig deeper into forgiveness. The inner resonance of forgiveness rings deeply within, much like the wisdom shared with a long-time friend. Forgiveness is a virtue. It provides a person with a grand reward. To forgive another is profound relief and spiritual joy. This is a gift you reward to yourself. Ironically, the curse of estrangement led me to value the virtue of forgiveness to all.

Please darling, if you are carrying anger, release it. Release it right now as you read my story.

EMBRACING VULNERABILITY

Embracing vulnerability is a crucial step in becoming a fierce woman, as it allows individuals to be open and honest about their struggles and weaknesses. According to Erin Davis, being vulnerable is a key aspect of building strong relationships and creating a safe and supportive community. By speaking truth and being willing to share their own stories and struggles, women can encourage and support one another, and create a ripple effect of empowerment and transformation. As Kimberly Wagner notes, being a soft warrior means being willing to be vulnerable and open, yet still strong and courageous in the face of challenges.

WHY I AM A MODERN MATRIARCH: KIMBERLY WAGNER BELIEVES WOMEN

I am a Modern Matriarch because I have acquired wisdom through a lifetime of difficulties, shared with a long-time friend. I have always fought with a fierceness to climb the stairs. Each problem I faced I faced with my teammate — resilience. This is one of the main reasons I earned a Ph.D. in life.

I have learned the importance of mixing hardships with the unsurmountable joys I experience daily. Joy is more important in my life than sorrow.

And, throughout all my climbs I remind myself of the importance of the virtue of humility. I am a small-town girl from Kankakee by the Sea and the town had a profoundly important influence on who I am today. Thank you, Kankakee by the Sea.

WHY I CONSIDER MYSELF ‘FIERCE BEAUTY’

Let’s consider why I still think of myself as fierce, though I’ve been through so much. First, life has taught me that the radical idea of fierceness being a marvelous and positive word has empowered me, as shared with a long-time friend. So many of us, as did I once upon a time, think it had negative connotations. Wrong. It is the sail beneath every woman’s wings. It is what gives us ‘our attitude.’ Our drive. Our successes. And our goals.

THE REASONS I CONSIDER MYSELF A FIERCE MODERN MATRIARCH

I am fierce because I…

Share the experience as you would with a long-time friend.

• Read
• Laugh
• Wonder
• Forgive
• Love style
• Know I have faults
• Say, “I don’t know”
• Know kindness counts
• Am a visible woman
• Say, “I am sorry”
• Learn from Kim’s journey

                                             What makes you fierce, darling?

I am fierce because I…

• Am a woman over 50
• Never expect anything
• Listen to my heart
• Understand honor is my badge
• Know social media is not my brain
• Try, try, try not to procrastinate!
• My Hebrew name is Sarah
• Don’t hide behind a mask
• Believe in hope and dreams
• Honor my mother and father
• Climb the stairs, not ride the elevator

I am fierce because I…

• Am worldly
• Believe a woman’s inner beauty is her true beauty
• My priority is my husband
• Don’t envy
• See problems as grey — not black
• Know the present is a gift
• Am vulnerable
• Want to be!
• Am soulful
• Am generous
• Don’t pretend to be who I am not
• Wear red lipstick like a long-time friend!
• As a pastor’s wife, I have learned to balance strength and gentleness, navigating unique challenges with grace.

I am fierce because I…

• Stand against the unrighteous
• Don’t gossip but I love to listen!
• Revel in the silence of the day
• Listen
• Am grateful
• Love animals
• Love nature
• Know women need women
• Was a French woman, Gizelle, in a past life!
• Am humble
• Am grateful
• Know joy, as shared with a long-time friend
• Hearts Radio finally: The stories shared on Hearts Radio have contributed to my fierceness by highlighting the emotional journey of women who embrace both their strength and gentleness, leading to powerful changes in their relationships.

I am a modern matriarch because I am fierce!

BUILDING STRONG RELATIONSHIPS

Building strong relationships is essential for fierce women, as it provides a support system and a sense of community. According to Nancy Leigh DeMoss, a godly wife is someone who is able to build strong relationships with her husband, children, and friends, and is not afraid to speak truth and challenge societal norms. By being a soft warrior and embracing vulnerability through a relationship with Jesus Christ, women can create deep and meaningful connections with others, and build a legacy of love and empowerment. As Kimberly Wagner believes, being a fierce woman means being able to balance strength and gentleness, and to use this balance to build strong and healthy relationships.

LEAVING A LASTING LEGACY

Leaving a lasting legacy is a key aspect of being a fierce woman, as it allows individuals to make a lasting impact on the world and to inspire future generations. According to Kimberly Wagner, being a fierce woman means being able to spread God’s glory and to reveal God’s truth in all aspects of life. By embracing their own fierce beauty and trusting God, women can create a ripple effect of empowerment and transformation, and leave a lasting legacy of love and courage. Living according to God’s design helps women express their strength through gentleness and love, embodying true femininity as a divine blueprint for womanhood. As Wagner notes, being a soft warrior means being willing to take risks and to challenge societal norms, in order to create a better world for future generations. By being gently fierce and embracing their own unique strengths and weaknesses, women can make a lasting impact on the world and leave a legacy that will be remembered for generations to come.

WHY ARE YOU A FIERCE MODERN MATRIARCH? TRUE WOMAN BLOG

And, you darling, why are you fierce? Did you ride a motorcycle through India? Sleep in the Sahara? Survive Cancer? Have your own survival theory? Are a visible woman after 50? Have stayed happily married for 50 + years! Remember to laugh?

Whatever your reasons and each of you have dozens, I proclaim you a fierce modern matriarch after 50. Reflecting on quote-worthy truths can inspire you to embrace your fierceness and recognize the profound insights that shape your journey. Now, you have to proclaim why you are. Write your list as if sharing it with a long-time friend. Amen.

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