My goal is to help you create a lifestyle of positivity and possibility. I am smiling!

– Warmly, Honey

Simple Ways to Stop Feeling Unsure and Invisible

Honey Knows How to Feel Visible with Fashion

Feeling Unsure and Invisible in Life

When I was a much younger woman, I felt unsure and invisible.

I was in my thirties and both of my children were in school. So, I was venturing into a new field as a professional storyteller in the local schools. Hawaii was a very casual place at that time. There were no designer shops, only a local department store Liberty House and certainly no big box stores. The dress was also very casual. Not even understated, just shorts, tee-shirts, and flip-flops with a bathing suit underneath. I was one of those young women who ran around like that.

Why Change?

We saw no problem with this style of dress, it was standard and where were we going anyway? To the store, beach, picking the kids from school. No need for any other fashion statement. But then life changed. I joined several organizations that met at the local YWCA. This was a beautiful building and the architect was Julia Morgan who went on to design Hearst Castle in California. It was a meeting place in the community.

As I started attending meetings, I found that no one was paying attention to me, even when I had something of value to add to a discussion. I was perplexed. When I got home, I remembered a beautiful leather briefcase I had been given and found it in my closet.

Making a Change

Inside were pictures that the kids had drawn. For the next meeting, I dressed in a dress with fashionable sandals, put on some makeup, and did my hair, and took the kid picture-filled briefcase with me to the meeting. I was taken seriously!

That briefcase became my signature and I went on to be not only an important member of these committees but a professional storyteller, a theater director, and a member of several influential statewide committees.

An Experiment

At about that same time, I ran another experiment. I went clothes shopping exactly as always shorts, tee-shirt, etc. and found the salespeople not that interested in helping me.

One day I put on a nice outfit, did my hair, makeup, and accessorized with jewelry. I had all this in my closet and my family owned a department store; I just didn’t take advantage of it anymore. So, I went shopping and found that the sales staff was really interested in helping me find just the right thing every time I went shopping.

Why am I writing this old story when I’m well over fifty? Here’s why…

changing the outside to match the inside - simple ways to stop feeling unsure

Changing the Outside to Match the Inside

From that time on until now, whenever I feel invisible, out of sorts, not there, I go into my closet, pick out something stylish, contemporary, or vintage; slip it on, do my hair, add makeup, beautiful shoes, a marvelous bag, and some outstanding jewelry. I’m always present, there, visible; I am a presence, someone who knows what’s going on. Oh, and I’m so happy with my life.

Simple Ways to Stop Feeling Invisible

So, if you are feeling invisible or not there, take a little time to spruce up. Go shopping for stylish clothing, new shoes, maybe a new bag. Get a new hairstyle and rethink your makeup. You will feel great, improve your outlook, and look current. Trust me, this will feel exciting and “with it”. Oh, and maybe you will be happier! Who can ignore a happy, well put together woman of any age?

Do you feel unsure and invisible in your daily life? Let me know in the comments at the bottom of this page. I would love to discuss more with you!

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  1. You really hit the nail on the head with this article. It’s so easy to just ‘pull on’ a comfortable outfit and dash where we need to go. I always put on makeup whether I need to go somewhere or not. You never know when that unexpected invitation will happen! BTW-even with a mask I use a matte lipstick, just for myself. Thanks a bunch for reminding up to make a little extra effort.

    1. I wear a matte lipstick to feel good. too! When you feel like a visible woman within yourself, you will without a word let the world around you know. Warmly, Honey

  2. Thank you for such a timely article and reminder to always try to look our best. When I go out with make up on and a nice outfit and bag I feel great and people do see me because I like how I feel.

  3. Thank you for this . Being cooped up so much since this covid virus . I am not looking my best . After reading this I am booking a hair cut and color. Scheduleing a pedicure. Saturday I am going shoe shopping. I am 81 but I still like to look pretty . I love getting dressed up , I still have that spark . I need to realize this more often.

    1. I know I am answering you late. I had so much on my plate. I do apologize. By now I am sure you did what you promised yourself you would do.Age is just a number…right! Never lose your spark!!!! Let me know if you scheduled and how you feel. Warmly, Honey

  4. Yes honey I agree with you when I leave the house I make appearances and when I do I’m bowed down like I’m a movie star hello how are you may I help you I love your dress I love your shoes just every corner the young lady says you have all these young guys just complimenting you it is kind of fun it’s a full-time job being a princess but being a lady that’s what it’s all about.😃

    1. Yes, being a lady is what it is all about!!! When you are a lady you really are a princess. Warmly, Honey

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