This morning, the effect of positive words triggered profound happiness in a body that was not feeling well. I lost my voice and have a cold and a cough. I am feeling quite sick and I have no appetite. My husband, my ultimate concierge, was insistent that I eat and surprised me with breakfast in bed; brought me a colorful flowered box of Kleenex knowing the flowers would put an immediate smile on my face, served me hot tea and lemon, forced me to take Tylenol and swallow cough medicine while I sat up in bed like a Queen Bee or dozed off with my computer in my lap. Every word that came out of his mouth was kind, loving and filled with concern. Every word that came out of my mouth was loving and thankful. That is how it should be.
In the midst of his caregiving and all the tumult taking place in our bed, our doorbell rang and in popped an unexpected friend and neighbor. “What happened to you?” she asked.” Before I could answer, my ultimate concierge said, “Honey’s sick and has me playing wife today.” Such an unexpected statement sent laughter through the room. My friend responded, “You are not Mr. Good; you are Mr. Great.” More laughter from the three of us.
It was over the above conversation, emails and phone calls from family and friends during the day that turned my attention to the meaning of words. Every conversation was caring and lovely. I glanced down at the mug, from Ireland (I have a collection of cups from all over the world to remind me of memories with my husband), in my hand that had drawings of four leaf clovers and a saying that read: “Where ever you go whatever you do may the luck of the Irish be always with you.”
I stared at my cup in all white and forest green and thought to myself, “Our lifestyles are centered around communication.”
Spoken and written words feed our emotions. Thank goodness for positive words. Without positive language we would not laugh, learn, show gratitude, express hope, love and trust, or be able to communicate hope, joy, or sadness.
Words affect the quality of our daily lives. Communication, is our greatest source of happiness and can be our greatest source of unhappiness. Almost every minute of our day is filled with words and it appears we are having difficulty as a Nation and as individuals in using the uplifting positive words in our dictionary.
Words exude positive and negative energy and power. They uplift us; they uplift our lifestyle. Or, they destroy us. They destroy our lifestyle. I don’t believe in the saying: “Sticks and stones will break our bones and words will never harm us.” That saying is a bunch of “fooey.” Of course words hurt and harm us as individuals and a society.
So, how do we master the use of positivity during times of conflict and turmoil in our personal lives. Nothing is solved with a negative approach. Negative words fuel more anger. Just turn on your television.
I took a two-day course in the Art of Negotiation at the Karrass School of Negotiation. The course was geared towards business but I took away some skills on how to use the art of negotiation through the positive word.
So, on this cold rainy afternoon as I stare out my window, propped up in bed with lots of soft down pillows plus one ‘my pillow,’ that my husband ordered on TV; (he loves to order items he sees on television,) my flowered Kleenex box, my Irish mug, my laptop, my pooch, who I described as a crippled child, nestled into my side, a show playing on Netflix (Call The Midwife) and my ultimate concierge next to me, I mull over the meaning of how to use positive words during conflict.
My goal is to be able to deal with misunderstandings, be a better negotiator because anger like joy is an emotion that arises in all of our lives.
The use of positive words in conflict
- Validate a person’s view point. The person should validate my viewpoint. This is a positive beginning with family members, friends and co-workers. I said, validate, not necessarily agree.
- Avoid negative words.
- Suggest alternatives.
- Sound helpful.
- Manage your emotions. Take a deep breath.
- BE UNAFRAID TO SPEAK COURAGEOUSLY AND BE UNAFRAID TO LISTEN COURAGEOUSLY. THE GOAL IS TO FIND COMMON GROUND.
I want to leave you with words I love darlings, all positive words. Might you incorporate them into your positive word vocabulary?
ageless, achievement, abundant, awesome, appreciate, bloom, blessed, balanced, decent, dazzle, empathize, encourage, fabulous, friendship, family, generous, harmonious, happy, flourish, illuminate, inspire, joyful, kind-hearted, laughter, learn, live, love, marvelous, motivated, noble, nature, optimism, open hearted, open minded, positive, powerful, polite, queenly, respectful, reason, rapture, resilient, respect, rainbow, smile, stable, sparkle, sweet, smart, savour, trust, thrive, vitality, values, vigor, worth, wow, wonder, worthy, yes, yes and yes!
I hope you have a positive day and a positive week ahead. Use positive words and be aware of all the positivity in your life.