My ultimate concierge casually mentioned, “I am glad to be home.” He didn’t have the slightest idea of the impact the phrase had on me. In actuality, darlings, he was telling me in a broad sense, he felt a warm connection, an attachment, to many people, places and things. I saw in a flash the emotional largeness in his short statement. For without positive attachments, life would be meaningless.
Attached to my Sweet Home Chicago
Last Thursday, my eyes were glued outside the window of our American Airline’s flight as it banked over Lake Michigan toward O’Hare. Suddenly, there she was, my beautiful Chicago.
Chicago and I have something in common. We have MOXIE! I felt a fantastic metamorphosis, a transformation, as my mood swung into full-on joy. The feeling was as if I could wish for nothing more. At home, I felt attached to my roots… twenty-seven years of life in the city of Chicago. Home is where I hang my soul. Home is where I lead a charmed lifestyle because I have positive attachments around me.
I think a woman at better than fifty should, if they have not, move away from every attachment, large or small, that makes her uncomfortable. Now is her time to wrap her arms around her positive attachments, including people, places, and things.
Over the next few days be mindful of two words: attachment and detachment.
While home I wandered through our apartment because I, like many of you, love my home. I had been away for two months and was anxious to visit every room. As I walked through our home, I noticed that I was attached to everything I laid my eyes on and all my attachments had a story. My grandmother’s and mother’s treasures. Gifts and cards from my children and grands, memories from my ultimate concierge and our travels. There are gifts my husband and I gave one another and even a place on our carpet where America tinkled; all these things have a story that I cherish.
I know you are asking yourselves, “What if I cannot or do not know how to detach myself from unhealthy attachments?”
My answer is, “You can do both.” Remember, “Where there is a will there is always a way.” This is not a trite statement.
I will share with you some of my stories…
How To Move An Uncomfortable Attachment Into The Positive Lane
I live half of the year in the California desert. I have no affinity for a desert landscape. How have I managed to endure living in the desert for many years? To be honest, it has not been a bed of roses because I love tropical landscapes with Orchids and Palms and the everchanging Sea. And, I adore tropical weather filled with humidity and the smell of salt air.
I decided to enhance our home with live trees, to include Palms. I have Orchids in every room to give me the feeling of the tropics. My tile floors are Sea Green and remind me of not only the Ocean but nature in all forms. I have made our home ‘my tropics.’ You know darlings, most times ‘we can’t have it all’ so we have to be creative and invent! I invented and made the most of my situation. So can you. Put on your thinking cap. You are women better than 50 with tons of knowledge between your ears. Use your resources.
How To Detach Yourself From Unproductive Spare Time and Relationships
Any time I am attached to activities or people — outside of the family — that no longer makes my heart sing, I make a shift. The hardest part of letting go of this type of attachment is in the decision-making department. The fear of letting go, the fear of making the wrong choice, and the fear of change is mind-boggling. I have learned that every decision is a win-win. If I am right, I am happy. If I am wrong, I learned.
I was involved, attached, to activities that were not giving me pleasure. This is a common occurrence when women become empty nesters or retire. It’s what I call it trial and error time. Detach yourself from everything you are not enjoying and attach yourself to new options that you have been dreaming about trying. THAT TAKES MOXIE!
I cut the cord on activities I was attached to that no longer gave me pleasure. I plugged myself into a brand new hobby, journaling. Suddenly, I felt a positive attachment to writing. I decided to shift away from attachments that were not making me happy and look, darlings, what happened. The result is that I could not be happier. The things I am attached are vast, to include my writing, you, my Honey Bees and Jo-Ann, my book, Stories for my Grandchild, Karrie, who is my editor, my new endeavor of Podcast interviews, and the exciting women I am interviewing.
As far as women or male friends, I have one word: ‘delete’ if the attachment is so uncomfortable and the other person is not flexible. Why be attached to anyone that gives off vibes that make you uncomfortable or unhappy?
Family Attachments and Detachments
Personal family attachments are problematic. I have close friends that are in unhappy marriages. Additionally, I have close friends who have problems with mothers-in-law, adult children, siblings, and cousins. Many family members ‘think’ they can say anything and do anything, and all will be forgiven, and so they do and say unforgivable things. In this arena, I cannot give professional advice but I will provide you with my common sense advice.
1. Some things are unforgivable, and you should consider cutting the cord. Detach.
2. To err is human; to forgive divine. If there is hope, stay attached and leave the attachment cord in at all costs.
3. You have tried to stay connected with no success, ‘accept’ the situation and ….LIVE YOUR LIFE! Detach.
On a scale of 1-10, I love my life to a 10, even with my glitches, because I have trained my mind to accept attachments that I cannot change, delete attachments I have the power to change, and minimize the attachments I am stuck with, like the desert, by turning our home into a Shangri La.
I have MOXIE! My glass is half full, at least that is how I see it, even when it is not. This is because I will not allow myself to miss out on all the positives around me. For me, the choice is easy: I will live my life to the max with all the positive attachments I am plugged into. And you should try and follow my lead. You have nothing to lose…and everything to gain.
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