Is Sugar and Spice Really “Everything” Nice?
Day in and day out, we negotiate. We even negotiate with ourselves. When you think about a woman’s life, negotiations of all types go on all day. We begin to learn as little ones the art of negotiation; the art of having discussions that are aimed at reaching an amenable outcome. Unfortunately, amenable agreements are often not reached. Why is this?
My Fabulous Role Models
I always wished for a sister. As a little girl, I observed the love between my mother and her sister. They spoke daily. I would hear them laughing and whispering and sometimes arguing and then forgiving and then laughter, once again. They were my fabulous role–models! I learned the meaning of loyalty, forgiveness, joyfulness, and empathy from these incredible women. But, that has not made my life free of conflicts. On the contrary, I have had my share of angst and I am almost certain you have too. I have learned many things the hard way and I am still learning and if you are honest with yourselves, so are you.
Many Conflicts Will Arise
Why do many conflicts arise between people who are basically kind and loving individuals? Why it is that what we say is often not what is perceived when more often than not we want to understand one another?
Girlfriends offer so much. I call this ‘sugar.’ We make laugher together, give each other advice on every womanly topic under the sun, share stories, and have our own language. On a darker side I have been witness to a lot of ‘spice’ that is not very nice; directed to other women and to me. It can be as little as a look!
So I did some research and found that sociologists and psychologists agree on this fact: Females tend to be very judgmental beginning at a young age. Young girls learn early on to gossip, form cliques, and turn on one another! And it gets worse as they get older. I read over 52% of working women are bullied by other women in the workplace. It is all part of ‘the not so nice characteristic’ of women. The schooled authorities do not have an answer.
Darling, I think friendships with women are checkered. I have had women in my life do the most unexpected extraordinary marvelous things for me. I have, on the other hand, felt betrayed and disillusioned. These experiences both filled with sugar and negative spice left me conflicted.
Women Need Women
But that was then and this is now. I have come to terms with women and the first important fact is: I realize the value of having my girlfriends. And, I would be lost without the chitter-chatter and bantering back and forth with them. I need them. They need me!
This is my healthy prescription of how to find ‘the sugar’ in your life with women friends.
First and foremost you must realize your own value.
Secondly, you should reach out and acquire new friends who have those values.
Now you are on your way, darling!
Leave Toxic People Behind
The next step I call “shedding unwanted emotional weight”. Say bye-bye to toxic women in your life! And now remember: Don’t expect too much and you won’t be disappointed. Girlfriends have so much on their plate just as you do, so be flexible.
You want your friendships to be solid and meaningful. This requires your effort.
If there was a friendship you valued that went astray mend your bridges if possible.
If someone hurts you and asks for your forgiveness I hope you will forgive them if the infraction is forgivable.
Do something GOOD today: call your girlfriends and tell them you are glad they are in your life. Or, write them a letter. Becoming pen pals might be just what you both need right now!
How have you experienced your female friendships? Are they full of sugar and spice? Let’s discuss this in the comments at the bottom of this page! As well, join my private Facebook Group, GRANDwomen with Moxie!
If you enjoyed this article, please subscribe. Each daily story will be delivered straight to your inbox.