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– Warmly, Honey

HOW TO MAINTAIN YOUR MENTAL HEALTH THROUGH A DIVORCE

fasionable woman with gray hair smiling with her dog

by SUSAN “HONEY” GOOD

Whether you have been married for less than five years or more than twenty years, divorce is extremely taxing. You are ending a once important aspect of your life, and that can be overwhelming especially when it’s a long-drawn-out process. This is why you have to protect your mental health throughout the divorce process and after. 

While it’s normal to struggle to get to a happier place, don’t let your overall health fall by the wayside. In order to better your mental health, you have to first learn to manage it, so here are some useful tips on how to maintain your mental health through a divorce. 

Focus On Yourself 

Before you can start your journey of bettering your overall mental state you have to ask yourself, what do I need? When we go through a traumatic event it can feel natural to put prioritizing your self-care at the bottom of your to-do list. However, it should be one of the main things you focus on.

During the divorce, you will spend the majority of your time dealing with the process. Take some time to focus on yourself. Self-care can look different for everyone, maybe it could be spending more time on your favorite hobbies or splurging on a spa day. Self-care will help refresh and motivate yourself. Even spending 30 minutes a day journaling can make a big difference and get your mind on empowering yourself.  

Don’t Forget Your Physical Health 

Although we often separate the mind and body, our mental and physical health are tightly intertwined. Physical activity is a great way to help manage and better your mental health. If you’re someone who struggles to stay active because of your daily obligations getting in the way, then create an exercise routine that caters to you.

You don’t need to exercise every day in order to stay active. All you need is to set aside 30-45 minutes every other day. Start Sundays when you have an off day to ensure you begin establishing healthy habits. Use your physical activity as a positive outlet for any pent-up frustrations that you’re experiencing. Once you find a schedule that works for you, the journey and everything else will feel achievable. 

You’re Not Alone

Often divorce comes with a feeling of failure causing people to shut down and shut off from their loved ones. However, shutting down and shutting off will only do you more harm than good. You need a support system during and after the divorce process. Having a support system will make recovering from the process feel possible because you have people to lean on during the darker moments.

Humans need connection, and having a shoulder to cry on will make it easier to heal. It will also keep your mental health in check when you feel like the one to blame or start to feel insecure over the end of your marriage. Your support system will help you let go, and remind you that it does get better even if it has to get worse first. 

Seek Help When Needed 

Regardless of how many hours you spend on self-care or physical activity, sometimes you just need professional help. If you find that the divorce process is taking a tremendous toll on you and your happiness, don’t wait until you are completely drained to ask for help. Seeking professional help can be intimidating for many reasons but can be extremely beneficial to getting the pieces of your life back together.

There are also a variety of options like online psychiatry consultations for those seeking treatment virtually due to convenience or if you feel more secure at home. More often than not there are an array of underlying emotions you need to work through and a professional can help you unpack and understand. 

It might go against your instinct, but divorce can be a journey of self-love filled with a lot of peaks and valleys. Some days will be easier than others but you are in charge of your journey. Try to stay positive and avoid dwelling on the negativity. Your mental health is a crucial aspect of your well-being, so don’t ever push it aside, instead take control of it. You will be grateful you did in the long run. 

Remember:

  1. Focus on yourself-Explore self-care avenues that are right for you.
  2. Don’t forget about your physical health-Physical activity is directly tied to mental health. Find what works for you.
  3. You are not alone-Look to your circle of support.
  4. Seek professional help when needed-Your mental health comes first. Professionals can guide you through the uncertainty and hurt.

 

If you have something to say about maintaining your mental health through a divorce, let’s talk. Your opinions + feelings matter so much to me. Speak up so that women our age remain visible. We have a responsibility to share our wisdom, wouldn’t you agree? Please share yours in the comments below.

Warmly, Honey

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