I have often wondered why some of us are more grateful than others. Through reading the works of scholars, I have learned that gratitude is part nature and part nurture. Two identical twins with identical DNA have identical feelings about gratitude. Fraternal twins have a 50% chance of feeling the same emotion. I decided to write about gratitude, given two recent personal experiences.
Last Weekend’s Gathering
Last Saturday night, sixteen of us gathered at our friend’s home to play cards and share a potluck dinner. We were eight couples and longtime friends. We certainly had a fun-filled evening. What struck me were the expressions of gratitude that flowed through my girlfriend’s household. Phrases including thank you, let me help you, I am so happy we are all together, I love your couscous recipe and I am having such a good time continued throughout the evening. Everyone laughed all night. We were all grateful to be together.
At The Mailbox
When my ultimate concierge and I arrived home the same evening, we stopped at our mailbox to pick up our mail. In our mailbox was an orange envelope, on which I immediately recognized the handwriting of my granddaughter, Skylar. Inside the envelope, her note read:
Dear Honey and Grandpa Shelly,
Thank you so much for my awesome birthday gift. I wear it every day.💜
I miss both of you and wish we got to see each other more often. 💜
Love you both.💜
Her birthday gift was a check and a red string bracelet with a valuable saying. Not a gold bracelet or a bracelet with stones. You noticed the gift of money was never mentioned. It was the red string bracelet with the inscription that made her happy and grateful. I think Skylar’s gratitude stems from a combination of her DNA, her parent’s teaching and her personal satisfaction with her life.
On Saturday night, I went to bed thinking about the words thankfulness and appreciation, which both mean gratefulness. I looked at my ultimate concierge beside me, as I am grateful he is my partner. I wondered how many couples express their gratitude to their spouse or partner as I drifted off to sleep.
How To Express Gratitude To Your Partner
I know it is hard for many women to feel grateful when life throws them curveballs. It is hard to see the silver lining and maintain a grateful mindset when things go wrong. However, this is a test of resiliency. In every close relationship, there are times a woman has to dig deep within herself to find that rainbow of gratitude. I know that gratitude remains intact when any woman can temper the blows of life and see her glass as half full. Her gratitude for her partner is expressed through her attitude.
A husband or partner who has a gratitude-minded partner is blessed beyond words because grateful women tend to be realists. This is an extremely powerful, positive quality in any relationship. These women show their gratitude by bringing hope, flexibility and a loving heart to the partnership. Because they are realists, they are helpful in tackling setbacks. They realize the importance of a curious mind, a desire to learn and they see no benefit in wasting time with the past. Above all, they never take their blessings for granted. They are grateful.
Daily Tips To Practice
- “I love you” is a daily, go-to phrase.
- Compliments are a must.
- Grab your partner’s hand in the movie, walking down the street, anytime and anywhere.
- Provide special sentimental gifts on occasions and for no reason.
- Share your secrets.
- Be a good listener, as listening is an incredible sign of love.
- Sacrifice for your partner.
- Protect and defend to the hilt.
- Write and leave little love notes.
- Don’t lose control when life becomes overwhelming.
I am a grateful woman. It is hard to explain why because there is no pattern, no explanation, no written plan and, more often than not, no important reason. Feelings of gratitude spring out of nowhere and I am joyful. I wish I could wave my magic wand over everyone I care for and wish them the same feelings of joy.
One’s gratitude can last for a few seconds, a few minutes, a few hours or a lifetime depending on the situation. The ability to feel grateful is a gift. For those of you who know the feeling, you know exactly what I am saying. For those of you who don’t know, I am glad to be able to tell you that it can be learned.
Countless resources already exist on the topic of gratitude including podcasts, videos on YouTube and a handful of helpful TED Talks. There are positive psychologists you can contact. One of these women, Barbara Holstein, writes for Honey Good and I recommend contacting her. Her information is on my site at the bottom of each of her stories and on her podcast.
How do each of you practice gratitude? Do you hide love notes throughout the house like I do? My darlings, I’m interested in learning how you practice gratitude and maybe I can incorporate some of your tips into new ways I continue to show gratitude for my ultimate concierge. XO