If we cannot control our lives, our lives will control us. My life is controlling me, and the only way to garner control is to set boundaries. But can I do it? Can you do it?
A little back story
Saturday night was wonderful. My girlfriend, Carol, and I helped our husbands at the canasta table for a couple of hours. We were our husbands’ tutors who are learning the game for one reason…because they love us! Afterward, we grabbed a taxi and sped off to, Gibsons, my ultimate concierge’s and my favorite “in” spot. One of my favorite waiters, personality plus, Elvis, prepared my homemade salad dressing (olive oil, fresh garlic, fresh lemon, and salt.) The conversation over dinner had a lively yet intimate tone.
Why did I use the word intimate? Because…
I shared a special secret event with Carol. You, darlings, will learn more about my surprise happening as soon as I am allowed to announce.
I was hesitant to share because my ultimate concierge defines the word secret as…
“Once you tell a secret, it is not a secret!”
My heart — you know my message that ‘the heart knows’ — told me I could trust this fabulous friend of mine. We have known one another for many years. She has a flexible manner I find very attractive though she is very connected to the outside world.
What do I mean by very connected?
She is a docent at the Museum of Contemporary Art, she also teaches, she belongs to a movie and book group, she plays cards and golf, has lunch with the girls, is a wife, mom, grandmother, and girlfriend and rides the bus!
So, I was shocked when she said to me with bewilderment and awe, “I don’t know how you find the time to accomplish what you do!”
Darlings, she made a comment at least three times. And, my answer to her, “I don’t know how I do, either!”
It hit me the other day when my ultimate concierge made a similar comment, saying “You have no time to sleep. You boggle my mind.”
It appears I also boggle my girlfriend’s mind.
Time To Restore Balance
So…today I took stock of what I do each day and knew that I had unearthed a crucial truth, I have too much clutter in my life.
I define clutter as chaos. Too many papers, too many people, too many social events, too many collections, too many stressful situations that are probably avoidable and too many pros and cons that race through a mind that does not like to run. Namely, mine.
In other words, I decided to be honest with myself and acknowledge how I would prefer to live my daily life.
Darlings, do the same. You know how we make our lists.
I am going to jot down words that fill my cup and bring into my daily life contentment and balance. In other words, less stress…more joy!
I know that when I keep my commitment to myself to live by these words, I will be joyful and full of grace.
Fingers crossed for me!
I know it is time to set boundaries because after staring at my words, reading and rereading them, I am excited to place into motion options that are at my fingertips.
I WILL FOLLOW THROUGH ON BOUNDARIES BY GIVING MYSELF… A CALL TO ACTION!
I know what my quiet center feels like and I am well aware there is always going to be something. I know that peace will at times allude me. It is called real life.
But, there are so many situations we can control and for those of us who are not rising to the occasion, let’s clean up our daily chaos, just like we clean our closets. Not perfection, but a greater sense of order.
So, put on your thinking caps, write down your personal guide to a less chaotic life for you and your family. Reclaim your balance and embrace your joy. Only you can “list” what that means to you. You hold the pen, this is your story. Write it.
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