How to survive and thrive in female friendshipsJune 5, 2015
Oh, the places I’ve been and the many types of women I’ve met! Surviving all of the various female friendships and relationships I have known in my lifetime has not been easy! These women would make a fabulous drawing of abstract art. They come from all walks of life with all types of varied interests and personalities and have enhanced my life in so many positive ways. Some are acquaintances, some are girlfriends and some are valuable friends I hold very dear to my heart.
Have I had disappointments with close friends? Yes. Did I survive? Yes.
I learned lessons from two very dear and valuable female friendships and one movie star! And I have my own theory on survival.
A major ‘girlfriend disappointment’ occurred in my later years. I am still dismayed. We were so close that we shared a dressing room when only one was available! We would call one another for one reason and stay on the phone forever never running out of things to talk about! We traveled with our husbands. When I was ill, she remembered to call after each exam I had to endure. We were best friends. We had some misunderstandings and instead of working through the problems our friendship ended. We disappointed one another. I was very sad and quite overwhelmed by what occurred. It took me over one year to fully recover from the loss of my friend.
After that incident, I became very leery of women and instead of wearing my heart on my sleeve, as I always had. I held my feelings close to my chest. I had lost my faith in women. I am still very cautious.
A change of attitude
About a year later two wise girlfriends shared their thoughts about women relationships:
My girlfriend Barbara said to me: “If you don’t expect anything from women, you will never be disappointed.” At first, I thought the statement was negative because we do have high expectations of our girlfriends but after thinking it through I realized it is a fact of life that should be well taken.
My girlfriend, Maria explained to me the importance of being able “to delete” women in our lives that do not make for a good relationship. The word is a formidable and strong word. It means the end. It means over. Do it kindly, but do it. There are so many women that ‘will fit you to a tee.”
I, Honey Good, think we have to first and foremost ‘befriend ourselves.’ We have to start with self-knowledge. Think about your characteristics. You want to have friends who mirror your values. List five quality words. And then go from there.
I laughed and laughed with my husband, Shelly, one evening, as we were watching “Downton Abbey.” The dowager grandmother was walking arm and arm with her girlfriend when she suddenly said tongue-in-cheek: “You know dear, I have so many friends I do not like!”
Now that is how you survive female friendships and relationships!
Do something GOOD today: call your dearest friend and tell her how much you value her.