Darling, today’s story is about more than a home: it’s about life’s passages. As women, we live many chapters, each one teaching us something new about who we are. With each move, milestone, or moment of loss, we’re given the opportunity to reflect, reinvent, and grow. I’ve come to believe that reflection is not simply a look backward, it’s a step forward. Reinvention is not about changing who we are, but becoming even more ourselves. And growth? Growth is the gift we give to the woman we are becoming… at any age!

Reflect: Rancho Mirage, California

In 2020, we sold our second home in Rancho Mirage, California. I called her Shangrila, a name I whispered to myself after getting to know her. Though she still rests in the cactus-filled California desert, she was, in every way, my utopia. My Ultimate Concierge and I created her from dust and dreams, and how I miss those four walls that wrapped around me like a warm hug the moment I stepped through the door. She was my Garden of Eden: a place of love, joy, soulful solitude, and emotional growth.

When we bought the land, there wasn’t a blade of grass in sight. We nurtured the earth and watched Shangrila bloom with palms, ficus, mango trees, bright bougainvillea, hibiscus, and my beloved dwarf olive tree. For years, that little olive tree sat with me on my private patio. I considered her holy. Her leaves shaded, her bark offered strength, her olives provided nourishment, and her history reached back to antiquity. When we moved, I couldn’t leave her behind, so she found a new home in Rosa’s garden. Rosa was my devoted housekeeper who told me, “Suzi, when you go, I retire.”

Rosa kept her word. She hasn’t worked a day since we locked Shangrila’s door together. We still speak monthly, and she keeps me updated on our olive tree, who is alive and thriving. Shangrila? I believe she still weeps for us. No one will love her as we did.

Growth in Shangrila

Before our move, I sat across the dinner table from my Ultimate Concierge and reflected on our years in Rancho Mirage. I asked aloud, “What did I accomplish in a place I never quite belonged?”

The truth is, desert life was never my cup of tea. The communities were rigid, the lifestyle programmed… But I didn’t sink, I swam. I razzle-dazzled my way through the solitude and discovered that contentment doesn’t come from a place, it comes from within.

Inside Shangrila, I blossomed. I became a writer, an author, and launched HoneyGood.com. I learned to golf and play the appropriate card games. I studied with a Rabbi and celebrated my Bat Mitzvah. I traveled the world. I faced cancer. I buried my beloved pooch Orchid. I lost my father. I lived through tremendous tragedy. I made dear friends and hosted gatherings full of warmth and laughter.

I started my first women’s meetup group at Shangrila, which grew into our private Facebook communities. Because, darling, Women need Women. From Barbara, a kind and gentle friend, I learned this truth: “Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”

Reflect on My Current Chapter in Chicago

The last two years in our condo in the sky have been the most difficult of my life. I carry grief from the emotional toll of caregiving as my Ultimate Concierge lives with dementia, and from the estrangement from my daughters and grandchildren. One daughter has returned. That has given me hope.

Still, there are days I want to go to sleep and not wake up. The pain is overwhelming and some days it sits heavy on my chest before I even open my eyes. The loneliness of caregiving, the mourning of estrangement, and the quiet weight of watching the man I love slowly slip away has made me feel sorrow I never anticipated. Yet, I walk daily, I do Pilates, I speak to trusted friends. I journal, I cry, I laugh when I can, and I allow myself grace.

Recently, I started seeing a doctor who specializes in vitamin therapy. She was recommended by an internist when my Ultimate Concierge received his diagnosis. Her guidance has helped extend his quality of life, and I trust she will help me navigate this season of physical and emotional depletion. My bloodwork is being reviewed for deficiencies, and I wait with hope that even a sliver of renewed vitality can help lift my spirit. When possible, always go to the best, darling: you are worth it.

To my fellow caregivers: I see you. I know the nights where sleep won’t come, and the days when a shower feels like an accomplishment. It is exhausting and relentless. We are never truly ready for this chapter, but we show up for the people we love.

Reflect and Reinvent Every Ten Years

I encourage you to pause and reflect on your last ten years. What have you learned? How have you changed? I keep three journals: one for goals, one for gratitude, and one for dreams and reflections. A wise friend once told me, “Every ten years, I reinvent myself.” I’ve taken that to heart.

You may be surprised by how far you’ve come. You’ll find threads of growth, wisdom, and resilience woven through the fabric of your story. And where you see unfinished lessons or lingering questions, know that there is still time for discovery, healing, and joy.

If you feel stuck, darling, lean into change and invite self-reflection. That is how we move forward. Take up new challenges, big or small. Explore the beauty that already surrounds you and please, erase the fear of failure. Each setback is a stepping stone. Each challenge you rise to will shape a new version of you. Whether your next step is bold or barely visible, take it with intention. As my Ultimate Concierge taught me, nothing good happens by accident. When you choose to grow, to risk, to rise: you bloom.

Practice self care by adopting a mindset of optimism. Downplay your negative thoughts and look for the good (even if it’s just a glimmer). That, darling, is how Pollyanna lived, and it is a form of resilience.

What the Next Chapter Holds

I don’t know what the next chapter holds, darling, none of us do. But I do know this: I have reinvented myself time and again. I have walked through sorrow, danced in joy and I have bloomed in unexpected places. No matter what lies ahead, I trust the woman I’ve become. She is strong, she is wise, and she is resilient. She knows, deep in her bones, that whatever the next chapter brings, she will bloom.

If you’re writing a new chapter of your life, or simply turning the page, I’d be honored to walk alongside you. Join our private Facebook groups, follow along on Instagram, write to me at AskMe@HoneyGood.com and visit HoneyGood.com to be part of a community of vibrant, wise, and courageous women just like you. Let’s share our stories, our struggles, and our triumphs. After all, darling, the most beautiful chapters are the ones we write together. Amen.