There was a time when I faced life’s changes with my Ultimate Concierge by my side. We moved through new passages together, as a team. We traveled. We solved problems. We adjusted our sails when the winds changed direction. Now, because of my Ultimate Concierge’s vascular dementia, I have been forced to embrace change in ways I never imagined.

Life is different now. I have my family. I have friends I call sisters. I have acquaintances from all walks of life. Yet, when the health of your spouse changes profoundly, the architecture of your daily life changes too. Even when you are surrounded by love, there are parts of the journey you must walk through on your own. This is one of the passages no one fully understands until it arrives at the front door.

To embrace change does not mean pretending a painful reality is pleasant. It does not mean denying grief, forcing optimism, or smiling when your heart wants to cry. It means acknowledging what has changed and asking yourself a brave question: How will I move forward with dignity, purpose, and tenderness toward myself?

Embracing major life changes demands a woman’s resolve. It asks her to navigate a labyrinth of emotions until, little by little, she discovers a new way to live inside circumstances she never would have chosen.

To Embrace Change Is to Grow Through Resistance

Growth can come from resistance. Hardship has a way of chiseling hidden strength. Difficult seasons quietly teach endurance, wisdom, patience, and perspective over time. What once seemed impossible may slowly become manageable. What initially felt like survival may eventually become a new form of self-discovery.

Personal aspirations that become achievements can improve your life because achievements are a powerful catalyst for self-respect. Even during a difficult passage, a woman needs something that reminds her she is still capable of creating, learning, contributing, and growing. Two guiding principles have become crucial in my journey:

Personal growth and time.

I wrote a story a few years ago titled “From Chivas Regal to Ensure: The Transitions of a Charmed Life” that resonated with many of you. Today, I want to delve more deeply into what those transitions have taught me about how to embrace change.

Do Not Fear Positive Disruption

Everyone should consciously commit to personal growth. Expand your horizons. Do not become trapped by fear or limitations. Do not spend all your precious energy fighting the reality that life has already placed before you. Embrace change.

Every storm and every new experience I have encountered has heightened my self-worth. And, like all of you, I have had my share of storms. Some were short-lived challenges. Some felt like heavy rain. Others arrived like a tsunami.

Each demanded something different from me. Each taught me something I could not have learned during calm seas. My struggles strengthened me. Your struggles can strengthen you too, if you face them honestly and give yourself permission to grow through them. Do not fear positive disruption. What disturbs your comfort today may be quietly preparing your next horizon. The caterpillar experiences the cocoon as the end of its familiar life. Yet, in time, it emerges as the butterfly.

Time Is a Teacher

Time. Ah, darling, what a complex issue. It is human nature to want immediate answers, even though we know change takes time to process. We want a clear road map. We want to know how the story ends. We want relief now.

But it is important not to resist the slow burn of thoughtful, thorough reflection. Some changes take months or years to understand. Some require us to live into the answer rather than force it.

Instant gratification rarely works. Yet, time does not stand still either. There is a balance. We must allow ourselves to process change without surrendering to lethargy. We must be patient without becoming passive.

When I Lost the Wind in My Sails

For 60 consecutive days, time was no longer measured by calendars. Time stopped being something I watched and became something I survived. It was measured in IV drips and surgical updates, deconditioning and reconditioning, physical rehabilitation, and sleepless nights. My Ultimate Concierge endured a broken hip, a second valve replacement, deconditioning, and the cruel erosion of cognitive decline. I lived between hospital rooms and rehabilitation halls, where every hour carried uncertainty. The clock on the wall became my calendar.

I learned that time can either become an anchor that pulls you under or a sail that catches whatever wind remains. I chose, and continue to choose, the sail. When life delivers a violent blow, the temptation is to fight the storm itself. But I learned that storms do not negotiate. I had to adjust my sails.

Some days, the wind was behind me with hope. Other days felt determined to break me apart, plank by plank. Coping became an exercise in problem-solving. Survival was not one grand act of courage. It was a series of small decisions made over time. One phone call. One appointment. One meal. One difficult night. One more morning when I chose to get out of bed and begin again.

What Hardship Strips Away

Even in my darkest moments of worry and grief, time carried a new kind of growth. Hardship stripped life down to its beams and bones. What once seemed important fell away like leaves in a hard wind. And in that bareness, another kind of growth began. My husband’s health struggles tried to steal the wind from my sails. There were days when they did.

Yet, as I sit at my desk on the 71st floor of our condo in the sky, overlooking peaceful Lake Michigan, I confess that this chapter has also heightened the wind in my sails. My world has narrowed in certain ways, but my inner world has expanded. So, I say to you, darling: plow through the barren earth, knowing that over time you may find a way to turn part of it green again.

Please do not misunderstand. My days are not la-di-da. There has not been one day in three years when I have not cried over the man I love. To embrace change is not to deny those tears. It is to understand that tears and strength can coexist. I have also learned that I still have the power to create and accomplish. Self-growth is one force no illness, hospital stay, or cruel twist of fate can take away from a person.

My Ultimate Concierge, My Loving Titan

Our beautiful life changed instantly when my hubby slipped on a floor and broke his hip. His health has continued to decline. Yet, to this day, three years later, he has never complained. When he does speak, he uses these words:

“I love you.”
“Thank you.”
“You can do it, Suzi.”
“Please.”

My Ultimate Concierge, even with cognitive decline in its final stage, remains one of my greatest role models. He has not allowed illness to erase his gratitude, his tenderness, or the love he gives me. He is my loving titan. Courageous. A man among men. Somewhere within his brain, he still understands the language of our love. He holds my hand. He squeezes it. He tells me, “I love you, Suzi.” I relish those moments.

Time has changed the direction of our lives, but it has also revealed the depth of our bond. So, darling, when tragedy strikes, you can allow the current to pull you under, or you can learn to swim in deeper waters than you ever imagined possible.

The Crushing Weight of Exhaustion

But it was not easy in the beginning. After returning home from the hospital following 60 days of uncertainty, a crushing wave of exhaustion washed over me. I imploded, not exploded. I was ready to collapse.

Within hours, reality set in. Exhausted and overwhelmed, I realized our lives would never be the same. I lay beside my darling husband, mourning the loss of normalcy and fearing the unknown path ahead.

Sadness, fear, exhaustion, and confusion are understandable responses when life changes suddenly. Acknowledging those emotions is not weakness. It is part of the adjustment process.

When a Major Life Change Settles

When a major life change arrives, whether it is moving to a new city, starting a new job, facing illness, experiencing estrangement from adult children, or coping with an unexpected shift in your daily routine, it can feel overwhelming. An invisible weight settles on your shoulders. It steals the ease from your life. It asks you to live with constant uncertainty.

But over time, if you refuse to surrender entirely, you may strengthen your ability to cope. Hardship became my professor. I learned that I had little control over the storm that was taking my Ultimate Concierge away. I could not stop the storm. But I could learn how to lean into it without capsizing.

Time taught me slowly. It taught me patience when I wanted answers. It taught me to be kind to myself when I felt depleted. It taught me that self care during a difficult passage is not indulgent. It is essential. Sometimes self care is rest, accepting help, protecting one quiet hour in your day, eating a proper meal, stepping outside for fresh air, calling a trusted friend, or admitting that the burden has become too heavy to carry alone.

When Additional Support May Help

Significant life changes can affect emotional well-being in ways you may not expect. It is not uncommon to experience sadness, anxiety, stress, trouble sleeping, or difficulty concentrating as you try to adapt. For some people, distress becomes persistent or begins interfering with daily life. Mental health professionals may describe this as an adjustment disorder, which is a response to an identifiable stressful event or ongoing stressor that makes it difficult to cope.

If your emotions feel unmanageable, linger, intensify, or make it difficult to function, reach out to a qualified mental-health professional. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign that you value your well-being.

You do not have to navigate change entirely alone. A support system can include trusted friends, family members, an online community, a caregiver network, or professional guidance. Sharing your feelings and asking for help are meaningful acts of self care. They protect your mental health and help you find your footing in a new chapter.

Threads That Hold Us Together

When you are struggling to cope, simple practices can help you care for your emotional well-being. They may not solve the larger problem or erase the uncertainty you are carrying, but they can steady you. They can give your day a rhythm when life feels disorganized and remind you that caring for yourself still matters, especially during the most difficult passages.

• Move your body when you can.
• Take a few deep breaths.
• Maintain a daily routine.
• Eat nourishing meals.
• Allow yourself to rest.
• Stay connected to the people who make you feel safe.

Do not dismiss these actions because they seem small. During a difficult passage, small rituals become threads that hold the fabric of your life together. Each act is a reminder that you have not abandoned yourself. Darling, these small acts of self care can become the gentle structure that helps you keep moving forward, one day at a time.

 

Finding My Way Through the Labyrinth

My priority was to invest 90 percent of my time in learning how to care for my hubby. I learned everything I could about my Ultimate Concierge’s condition: how to hire and train caregivers, prepare the right diet, support speech therapy, and assist with physical therapy. What once felt like a foreign language became terrain I could navigate with confidence and purpose.

I am not bragging when I say I feel almost on par with Florence Nightingale. And darling, that feels good. I feel worthy. I am at peace with my decision. I spend the remaining 10 percent of my time widening my circle beyond my own walls. I involve myself with my family and humbly give my time and energy to the Zionist Organization of America.

Service became an important lantern. It reminded me that even when life narrows, I can still expand outward. I can contribute. I can give back. I can remain connected to the world beyond caregiving.

The Life I Built Inside Uncertainty

I learned to feel content in my beautiful condo in the sky. Reading, documentaries, writing, and tending my plants brought me peace. These rituals are not trivial. They are forms of self care that anchor my days, feed my curiosity, and remind me that I am still a woman with a mind, a purpose, and an inner life.

The meticulously designed life I shared with my Ultimate Concierge once resembled Monet’s Garden in Giverny. The vibrant colors and scents of adventure have transformed into softer hues and subtler notes. But the lushness of our love, the essence of our garden, remains unchanged. The hub of my social life, girly rituals, shopping, travel, lunch dates, and card games slowly drifted from center stage. It never felt like a loss, except for traveling with my Ultimate Concierge, because my true self evolved.

Surface pleasures gave way to something deeper… Building a life inside uncertainty. It is understanding that time, even when heavy, can carve new chambers:

• Intellect
• Purpose
• Contentment
• Writing
• Quality instead of quantity

I realized I did not miss chasing distractions. Instead, I enjoyed cultivating my life at a different level. Within this shift, I found a new and exciting version of myself. Not diminished. Refined. I learned to reflect deeply and renew. I learned the importance of being true to myself. I learned to protect my peace and step away from anyone who treated me unkindly. And darling, you can too.

Embrace Change

To embrace change is never easy. But it can become the beginning of a powerful journey of self-renewal. The art of self-renewal lies in approaching change with an open mind and a willingness to notice new possibilities, even when the path ahead feels uncertain. Give yourself permission to take one step at a time. There is no need to rush into decisions. There is no need to expect yourself to have every answer today.

To embrace change is to trust that your life can still take on a meaningful shape, even if it is not the shape you originally imagined. Every major life change holds the possibility of growth. By focusing on what remains, seeking support, practicing self care, and tending to your emotional well-being, you can slowly transform a difficult transition into a new form of renewal.

Your journey is uniquely yours. Take it at your own pace. The Monet-inspired garden of my former life may have faded into quieter shades of bloom. But darling, I am still blooming. I have learned that a woman can reshape her life much like a river reshapes its course. The river does not deny the boulder in its path. It bends. It carves a new direction. And eventually, over time, it discovers another way forward. That is what it means to embrace change. Amen.