Embracing major life changes demands a woman’s resolve, her honesty with her feelings, and the courage to navigate the labyrinth of emotions until she reaches an outcome that benefits her and those she loves.

Personal aspirations may not directly improve our lives, but they can be a powerful catalyst, a driving force. Why? Because genuine thoughts can propel us to examine what we truly seek: our needs. In this journey, two guiding principles are crucial: staying true to our feelings and allowing time to be our friend.

I recently wrote a story entitled From Chivas Regal to Ensure: The Transitions of a Charmed Life that resonated with a lot of you. Now I will delve further.

Authenticity: Adjusting to Life Changes

A woman over 50 should consciously commit to remaining honest with her emotions. It is important to accept your emotions and your current situation as part of remaining authentic. Never wear a mask. Authenticity validates truth. And of course, be gentle with yourself and show yourself love, accepting your current situation.

TIME

Time… ah, a complex issue. Personally, I crave immediate answers. Even though I know changes take time to process, I resist the slow burn of thoughtful, thorough reflection. It can take a few months to truly adjust to big changes. Instant gratification beckons! (Sharing my truth with you, dear reader!)

My ultimate concierge constantly reminds me to “slow down and be gentle with your thoughts. Take your time and test them.” I, in turn, pass his wisdom on to you. My friend Gail also reminds me of the true meaning of quality time, you’ll enjoy her take.

LOSING THE WIND IN MY SAIL

My husband’s health struggles over the past months have stolen the wind from my sails. Returning home after a 60-day stint in two hospitals, we were both physically and emotionally drained, yet relieved and grateful to be reunited in our condo in the sky.

The past 60 days have been a whirlwind of emotional and medical traumas. Illness has a way of turning life upside down. This was a big change and a stressful situation for both my husband and me, requiring us to adapt to new routines and cope with significant emotional challenges. Unfortunately, I know some of you have faced similar situations, or are facing them now.

My husband was hospitalized for 60 days. So was I. I never left his side. My sole focus was his comfort and survival. My personal life went on hold. No, I’m not a martyr. That’s not my style. I love my husband deeply, and he needed me.

“Personal aspirations may not directly improve our lives, but they can be a powerful catalyst, a driving force. Why? Because genuine thoughts can propel us to examine what we truly seek: our needs.” — Honey Good

Each day, I’d leave our condo in the sky at sunrise and return around 7 pm to care for America, our dog. We hired someone to spend the night guarding him.

My husband endured two surgeries and a serious complication in between, thankfully resolved after days. He traversed three hospital floors, one being intensive care. Confined to bed or a wheelchair for two months, he only saw masked nurses and doctors. For the final twelve days, he was at Shirley Ryan Ability Hospital for physical and occupational therapy, as the doctors deemed him “deconditioned” after his long hospital stay.

A DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD

Shirley Ryan is an excellent institution for immediate post-surgery rehabilitation, like a hip replacement. After 50 days in a hospital, however, it’s not ideal. Three hours of various therapies fill the day, but the remaining time spent in a wheelchair further contributes to the curse of deconditioning.

Deconditioning? A new term for me. It affects every part of the body after bed rest and isolation from society for days. Curable, but time-consuming, requiring five days of reconditioning for every day spent hospitalized.

If true, my husband faces over three months of reconditioning his body and mind. He arrived home ready to tackle this next phase: three days a week, three hours each, at Shirley Ryan’s Outpatient Care, combined with two days of home therapy. I’m grateful for Shirley Ryan’s plan and his determination to recover.

EXHAUSTION’S CRUSHING EMBRACE: ADJUSTMENT DISORDER

Despite relief, a crushing wave of exhaustion washed over me as we arrived home. Imploding, not exploding, was my initial reaction. I was ready to collapse.

Within hours, reality set in. Exhausted and overwhelmed, I realized our life would never be the same. I lay beside my darling husband, mourning our loss and fearing the unknown path ahead. It’s normal to feel sad during such times of change, and acknowledging these emotions is an important part of the adjustment process.

THE INVISIBLE WEIGHT: UNDERSTANDING ADJUSTMENT

When a major life change arrives—whether it’s moving to a new city, starting a new job, or facing an unexpected shift in your daily routine—it can feel overwhelming, as if an invisible weight has settled on your shoulders. These significant life changes can deeply affect your emotional well-being and mental health, sometimes in ways you might not expect. It’s not uncommon to experience feelings of sadness, anxiety, or persistent stress as you try to adapt. For some, these feelings can develop into what mental health professionals call an adjustment disorder—a response to a stressful event or ongoing stressors that makes it hard to cope with daily life.

Adjustment disorders can show up as trouble sleeping, difficulty concentrating, or even physical symptoms. If these feelings linger or intensify, it’s important to reach out for support. A mental health professional can help you understand what you’re experiencing and offer healthy coping mechanisms to replace any unhealthy ones that may have crept in. Remember, you don’t have to navigate these changes alone. Building a support system—whether it’s trusted friends, family members, or connecting with an online community—can make a world of difference. Sharing your feelings and seeking help is a sign of strength, and it’s a vital step toward managing stress, protecting your mental health, and finding your footing in a new chapter of life.

THREADS THAT HOLD: THE POWER OF SUPPORT

During times of significant life changes, the threads that hold us together are often woven by the people around us. A strong support system—comprised of family, friends, and even mental health services—can be a lifeline when you’re feeling stressed or uncertain about the future. Supportive relationships offer comfort, understanding, and a sense of security, helping to ease feelings of anxiety and sadness that can accompany a major change.

If you’re struggling to cope, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. Mental health professionals are equipped to guide you through adjustment disorders and provide strategies tailored to your unique situation. Simple practices like regular exercise, deep breathing, and maintaining a healthy daily routine can also help manage stress and improve your emotional well-being. Remember, you don’t have to face these challenges alone. By reaching out to your support system and taking small, positive steps each day, you can manage symptoms, reduce uncertainty, and nurture your overall health as you move through life’s transitions.

THE ART OF SELF-RENEWAL

Embracing a major life change is never easy, but it can be the beginning of a powerful journey of self-renewal. The art of self-renewal lies in approaching change with an open mind and a willingness to see new opportunities, even when the path ahead feels uncertain. Give yourself permission to take things one step at a time—there’s no need to rush into decisions or expect yourself to have all the answers right away.

Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a helpful way to process emotions and gain perspective. Nourish your body with healthy eating, stay active with regular exercise, and make time for activities that bring you joy. Lean on trusted friends for support, and don’t be afraid to talk about your experiences. Visualization techniques, deep breathing, and other stress management strategies can help you regain a sense of control and calm.

Remember, every big life change is also an opportunity for growth. By focusing on the positives, seeking support, and caring for your mental health, you can transform even the most challenging transitions into a chance for renewal and a more fulfilling life. Your journey is uniquely yours—take it at your own pace, and trust that with time, support, and self-compassion, you will find your way forward.

FINDING MY WAY THROUGH THE LABYRINTH OF A MAJOR LIFE CHANGE

After a week of “time” and staying true to my emotions, my husband’s needs, and our needs as a couple, I navigated my personal labyrinth and felt the suffocating cloud lift. Positive thoughts began to bloom. During this period of adjustment, it was important to recognize and address negative thoughts, as managing these unhelpful mental patterns was crucial for maintaining my mental health.

MENTAL HEALTH REALIZATIONS WITH GENTLE UNFOLDING

Here is what I have come to realize:

• No one but me could restore the wind in my sails. I committed to doing just that… in time… while acknowledging my present grief. Adding more to my plate now would deplete me, not rejuvenate. Time and authentic feelings would be my healers.
• My meticulously designed life, resembling Monet’s Garden in Givernay, was gone. The vibrant colors and adventure scents transformed into softer hues and subtler notes. But the lushness of our love, the essence of our garden, remained unchanged.
• Eventually, I’d discover a new rhythm by establishing a new routine and stepping outside my comfort zone, which will continue to make my heart and our hearts sing. For now, our song is that we are home together, sleeping close to each other and loving one another. And, grateful that the healing process is in its last phase.
• That time is a great healer and I will find positive footing again. It takes time to feel comfortable with major changes, and patience is essential during this transition.
• I had to push myself to go to my pilates class once again and dear reader, I have! Trying a new hobby can also help during transitions.
• That there are three things that count in this new passage that I am entering. I count, my ultimate concierge counts, and we count as a team.
• I have missed Honey Good and all of you.
• That I am blessed and grateful that my husband made it through the rain.

Here are a few tips for dealing with transitions: Take regular breaks to reset, write down your feelings or routines to stay organized, and avoid unhealthy coping mechanisms. Most people go through major changes, and focusing on positive change can make a big difference. Dealing with important things and seeking support can help prevent negative outcomes like major depression.

THE BEST POSITIVE CHANGE IS YET TO COME

As we lay in bed last night my ultimate concierge whispered to me, “ The best is yet to come.” I smiled in the darkness of the night and then replied, I believe you… because you are once again drinking Chivas Regal! Bye Bye, Ensure!!!

With those two sentences, we laugh and I think…I have no doubt that In ‘time and with authenticity’ I will refuel and renew. We will refuel and renew.

I know many of you have and are facing similar challenges, especially when it comes to big life changes. These moments often mark a significant transition, and navigating the transition process can be emotionally difficult. In the past, I have had my woes but none have been as emotionally difficult on me as this recent one. Why? Because I cannot stop father time.

Amen.

If you, too, have faced challenges or big changes, please share with me in the comments below. It helps us to know we are not alone.

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