I'm Honey!

As a woman who has lived through many passages and learned through my larger than life experiences (positive and negative), I’ve discovered how to take a big empowering bite out of life.

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What I Love and Deplore About Aging

Someone asked me what I love and deplore about aging, and an instant vision came to my mind. This week, I was sitting in our car at a red light with my ultimate concierge on Michigan Ave. Many people were crossing the street in front of the car. Being a visual person, I noticed the walking pace of the people. They were all ages, though mostly middle age, and I turned to my hubby and said, “I wonder how many of those people appreciate their age, how fast they can walk, how well they can hear and see?”. I don’t recall his answer, but I do remember it was very positive and made me smile. The light changed, and we made a left onto Erie Street to the Covid testing center. Again!

My husband needed ‘another’ Covid test… This time for a surgical procedure that had to do with his ‘fake’ aortic valve that was placed in his chest at the end of March. It leaked small amounts of blood, causing him to be anemic, among other things. His body was healthy and just like the ‘fake’ news, the cow valve was not doing its job properly. The last two Covid tests were needed because the fake valve’s placement needed to be checked before the surgical procedure.

When we drove up to the testing center, the person who took the data said, “You again!”. My husband smiled, I did not because I am weary from a year of health issues with my ultimate concierge. First a detached retina, then a broken wrist, then an aortic valve replacement. Now another surgery to stop the ‘fake’ valve from leaking!

What has kept me upbeat when I am worn out?

what I love and deplore about aging


I Adore Love After 50

Love. Nothing is more important than making sure my ultimate concierge’s well-being and happiness is in check.

The surgery was last Thursday. It was successful! We were told beforehand he would be in the hospital for one to two nights. After the surgery, the doctor was so pleased with the outcome he gave my hubby the choice to stay the night or go home late in the day. His surgery was at 7:30am, but we went home together the same day!

I know love had to do with his decision, because he said, “You need me. I don’t want you to go home alone or stay the night alone. I want to be with you. Let’s get out of here!”.

Home we went, and who greeted us at the door with his waggy tail and delicious kisses? None other than our pooch, America Good!

True love. Love is a positive emotion, and in my opinion, the key ingredient to happiness as a woman over 50. It brings joy, hope, and positive emotions. Love for your spouse, partner, children, grandchildren, friends and pets is most important. Take your pick of one or all! It is embracing, comforting, sharing and most of all it is giving back.

I Adore the Word Time for the Woman After 50

Time is a blessing. After 50 you have the time to nurture relationships. The children are on their own and many of you have retired. This is the time to nurture your loving relationships, as well as take classes and meet new acquaintances. Being in relationships of all types is infectious! As a woman after 50, now you have the time to enjoy family and friends and the time to nurture yourself.

I Deplore Slowing Down

Back to the people crossing the street. I believe the strangers I watched smiling and walking briskly are grateful for many things, but as I stated above, not their youth. They just don’t think about aging. It is just not on their radar. But they should! They should shout out, “I am so lucky!”. I am going to mention this to my multigenerational friends.

I can honestly say I despise slowing down.

I deplore this part of aging. Personally, I have not felt any physical effects; my ultimate concierge has, and it affects me. I’m sad. I want to go, go, go. He also wants to go, go, go and do and see and be. It is his physical being. He just does not have the stamina he once had.

I Adore Looking for Every Silver Lining

Women after 50 have coping skills that younger women lack. We have acquired wisdom. I look for the silver lining when I am thrown a whopper.

We both want to continue our travels, live in Florida part-time, visit our grandchildren and take them on trips, etc. We cannot do these things unless we work on health matters.

My ultimate concierge goes to the gym three days a week for cardio and has a trainer come to the house the other two days a week to work on balance, posture and mind games. He would never do this without his wife, yours truly, setting up a schedule. This is good for me, too! This gives me hope and joy.

You can opt in on self-care for yourself and your significant other. In other words, darling, do yourself a favor as a woman over 50… take daily action to deal with life’s health challenges.

A few days ago, one of my close friends who is much younger than her hubby told me he was told by his doctor he had to use a walker. This man loves life. He is on a downer. I texted her to think about decorating the walker! Make his walker a conversation piece! Her hubby was a manufacturer of ties, always worked in fashion, and she is an interior designer. At least this might make her guy smile and do what he has to do. Obviously, this will have a positive effect on her well-being, which is just as important.

I Deplore My Saging Breasts and My Neck After 50

I have thought about breast surgery many times. But I know I will never go under the knife for my breasts for two reasons. Number one, I am afraid of problems. I have toyed with my negative feelings and tried to change my mind. I can’t. Anyway, I remember when I was dating my ultimate concierge he told me at the beginning of our relationship he was a leg man. I remember answering, “then I am out!”. He roared with laughter and hugged me. Now he is a breast man! He told me never to change what I have and this is the second reason I won’t go under the knife. Therefore, though I do deplore my sagging breasts, I will deal with a ‘safe’ challenge of finding a bra that is uplifting physically and emotionally. La De Da!

My neck is awful. Truth be told, the only time I think about my awful neck is when I see my photos. If I could, I would have it repaired. But that means a facelift. No to that! My neck has problems beyond my control. Underneath my neck I have scar tissue that cannot be removed. I also walked four miles a day without sunblock when I lived in Honolulu. The skin on a woman’s neck is the thinnest skin on her body so my neck really suffered. The rest of the problem is due to being a woman over 50. I can live with this.

Self Nuture After 50

After 50 is your time to pursue your dreams and your passions. This is your time to nurture your mind and your body.

I believe that self care is an act of self-respect. I want you to think about self care as the most important part of your lifestyle. Understand your needs and commit to them… without guilt. You will be a better significant other, mom, grandmother and friend when you are happy with yourself.

Self care means to live in the present, and that is your gift! It allows you to slow down and smell the flower in the moment. You will feel more ‘alive’ now because you are not a hurried woman or a woman who labors over your past.

Self care means to cut out the drama, expectations and demands of others. Let me tell you, it is to your benefit to do this!

Self care is being a comfortable woman over 50 because you know ‘who you are’ and this makes life more worthwhile. In other words, self care is not about the skin products you use (though important to a degree) but about your character, wisdom and the woman inside the dress. Hopefully, you are mindful of this?

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde

The Wisdom a Woman Has Acquired After 50

Yes, we are wiser. We are wizened. We have grown more confident in the choices we make. This is a biggy and I adore this feature of aging!

Friendships After 50

I am now very confident in my choice of friends. Are you? I used to think the more friends the merrier, but now I think the opposite, and it suits me just fine. I now place the quality of my women friends over the quantity. Do you?

Now that I am a woman over 50 I have my inner circle of friends who have substance. Unfortunately, they are all over the country because of my vast lifestyle. This inner circle will never change!

I have been able to weed out women who are self-serving, unreliable and gossips. My choice of friends must bring something to the table. Firstly, I am proud to call them ‘my friend.’ They must intellectually challenge me, nourish me, have my back, add something to my life, and make me laugh.

I am not finished adding or subtracting women from my life. I think this is a healthy decision. Do you agree?

I know the importance of having acquaintances; especially multigenerational ones. Do consider this an opportunity!

Loss After 50

This is the only ingredient I deplore about my life after 50. Saggy breasts mean nothing. This is the biggie and it scares me. I know many of you feel the same. The worst is loss.

Over the past year, I lost my mother and one of my inner circle of friends. I am devastated. I have no control over loss. Furthermore, I love so deeply it hurts, and my losses at this time are tarnishing my life. I am mourning. I can handle anything with aplomb, and I mean anything, and come out smelling like Baccarat Rouge 540 except when it comes to the loss of my loved one.

Truthfully, I am not a morbid person, but I don’t know if I would survive if I lost my ultimate concierge.

Decline in Health After 50

A decline in health can be improved and even put off. Difficult, but manageable. Taking care of our loved ones and ourselves is a must for a woman after 50! This is the practice of taking an active role in protecting loved ones and ourselves.

I have been put to the test over the last year taking care of my ultimate concierge. It has tested my patience. But I am persistent, nurturing and loving. And stressed at times to the nines!

Let’s add up the pluses and the minus of aging for the woman after 50. The pluses win! Love, time, friendships, self nourishment, and wisdom. And there are many more pluses.

Our motto is to stay ageless by staying involved. To love and show gratitude. To act compassionate to others, not just be compassionate, and to live in the moment and rejoice that we are women after 50!

I am anxious to tell my younger multigenerational friends to add youthfulness to their list of why they should be grateful; to appreciate their ability to skip across Michigan Avenue with a bounce in their steps!

Lastly, I’ve been thinking how important you are as a woman after 50. So…

  • Go to the beauty shop!
  • Go for a manicure!
  • Outfit yourself to the nines!
  • Put on your red lipstick and spritz yourself with your favorite perfume!
  • Strut your stuff out the door and say: “Hello world here I come!”

You are a woman over 50 who has earned your title. Wear it with pride because you are the woman in the dress, not the dress.

How has aging affected your outlook on life? What do you love and deplore about growing older? Let’s chat about it in the comments!


celebrate life after 50, Honey Good's private Facebook group

October 16, 2022


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  1. Mary Walendowski says:

    Dearest Honey,
    I HAVE lost my husband unexpectedly this year. He got CoVid but died of hospitable neglect . He was suppose to come home and then they literally quit feeding him. We are living in very sad times . John and I were high school lovers and truly had a fairy tale love for each other . I have thrown myself into my other relationships with family and friends but I absolutely ache for the loss of my husband . We did everything together and adored and cherished our times together. I can distract myself during the day but walking into an empty house and facing the loneliness is really tough. I was deeply moved by your words of saying how you don’t know how you could survive without your husband . My husband was a healthy 69 year old man who was bigger than life ! Don’t take every minute with your Ultimate Concierge for granted !!!!!!!

    • Susan Good says:

      Mary, please join my private facebook group, Celebrate Life after 50. There is a subgroup within the group for widows. I think it will help you to have conversations with other widows in the group. The leader is a widow and quite a dynamic woman. It is free, of course. My heart breaks for you. I was a widow and there…are no words.Covid and hospitals even more so are killers.A terrible time for all and especially for those who lost a loved one.You have my heart. Warmly, Honey

  2. Joyce A Jones says:

    I enjoyed this article very much….as a mother, grandmother and great grandmother of 84 I try to stay young and vibrant. Your articles inspire me to continue doing this. Please keep writing and giving inspiration to all.

    • Susan Good says:

      I am so glad I inspired you even more because you write like you are an inspired woman. Thank you for your kind words.I will try my best to continue to write my authentic stories. Warmly, Honey

  3. Michellebeth says:

    I love reading your posts, but don’t you think 50 is a little young to start thinking of oneself as “old”? I didn’t think I was old until Covid hit and suddenly, at 77, I was considered “elderly”. The past few years have been trying for sure. I am grateful for my general good health and trying to be more accepting of those “little things”. I’ve passed the point of even considering plastic surgery. It suddenly felt right to stopping dyeing my hair, but I’ve not given up, if you know what I mean. Dealing with loss is another thing. The losses are greater, both personal and what seems to be going on around us. Thank you for reminding me to concentrate on the blessings and use that to manage the rest.

    • Susan Good says:

      Yes, I agree with you about 50 being too young.I use 50 because it begins a new passage in a woman’s life. The past few years have been awful in Elsewhere. Everyone from age 5 to 100 has been affected. I am praying there will be a change for all Americans and everyone in the world. With your wisdom and grace I know you will be fine. Warmly, honey

  4. This is maybe my favorite post ever. As a woman over 70 (yes!!) I can say amen to all of this. The challenges of sheparding parents and my spouse through health and life challenges (and spouse through retirement, which is no simple task!) are also a form of blessing as we learn how to love and appreciate more deeply. Wishing you and your ultimate concierge many, many more years of good health, love, and gratitude.

    • Susan Good says:

      What a lovely compliment coming from you.I was taken aback by your kind words. Thank you. I have great admiration for you and look forward to reading your next post on HG. Life is filled with challenges and we have a choice…to grow and survive or wilt and struggle. My goal is to pass on the message that ‘where there is a will there is a way’ to try to jump our hurtles with grace and wisdom. Warmly, Honey

  5. Cathie says:

    I loved this article. Really made me think . Thank you

  6. Marcia cook says:

    I have followed you for a number of years. You appear to have the strength of an iron maiden and a Rock of Gibraltar. While strength is good one must show sensitivity or friends think you don’t need them. This is never true and we must get that point across to all. We want to be there for our friends and vice versa.

    • Susan Good says:

      My strength comes from seeing my problems grey, not black and finding the means to look for the silver lining in each of them. Of course loss is in its own category.I have the ability to try to turn my negatives into positives.I don’t dwell on them. I solve them.Yes, you are right about friends.My strength is helping not asking for help. I will remember your words. Thank you. Warmly, Honey

  7. Debbie cook says:

    I have followed you for a number of years. You appear to have the strength of an iron maiden and a Rock of Gibraltar. While strength is good one must show sensitivity or friends think you don’t need them. This is never true and we must get that point across to all. We want to be there for our friends and vice versa.

  8. Helen Matthews says:

    Hello Honey – you have written my feelings so eloquently, thank you! I deplore age spots (I’m 71) And my arthritic knee isn’t much fun either. But my life with my husband is wonderful (50 years this month), our three daughters have wonderful spouses and are healthy and happy. We’re a little short on grandchildren (two amazing granddaughters) but I’m glad our girls have the choice of having children or not. Life is pretty great, but sometimes I wish a little that I was 20 years younger with the wisdom and confidence I have now. Thanks for sharing your feelings too!

    • Susan Good says:

      Everyone feels as you do … wishing they were younger with the wisdom and confidence they have as mature women. This is a natural feeling. it appears you have a pretty marvelous life that you appreciate. I am happy for you. Warmly, honey

    • Susan Good says:

      Congratulations on 50 years! Isn’t getting older so much easier when you have such a wonderful partner to do it with?

  9. Peggy Clark says:

    I so enjoyed reading this. It is always so uplifting to read your thoughts. Thank you for putting them down for us to read and be motivated.

  10. Lorette Lavine says:

    I related so much to this post, Honey. It is so sincere and meaningful. Caring for your loved ones is so important and sometimes difficult and wearing on one’s patience. Loss is another difficulty. Grief waxes and wanes but never really goes away and is the a measure of high much we loved someone. I too have lost my mother, father and only sibling so it does feel very lonely at times. I take much joy in my children, grandchildren and my husband.
    I too deplore the things you mentioned especially the health issues and the time it takes to maintain the physical strength I am gifted with at my current age.
    I have a strong faith and always look forward to something “new” everyday that the sunrises even though that something new may be a new challenge.
    I thank you for our virtual friendship and the time that you engage and share your feelings and thoughts. It is good and makes me always feel gratitude that you began this blog. I live outside Chicago in the western suburbs…someday when I am downtown I hope to run into you out and about. xo

    • Susan Good says:

      Thank you for the sweet words Lorette. We can make growing older a beautiful thing and being authentic about what it’s really like is a great first step.

  11. Diane says:

    Thank you, just what I needed to hear.

  12. Mitzi Beach says:

    Dear Honey, this is one of your best of the best posts and this is saying something since you have tons of “bests”. Like you, I am fiercely passionate to encourage women over 50 to live differently than past generations. Why? Our country’s youth obsession! My Lifesizing® 3 pillars to aging gracefully is like you and I were almost together when I developed this and I am honored to be on the journey with you!! This post is a classic for all women to read! XO

    • Susan Good says:

      Wow Mitzi! Thank you so much! I’m so glad you identified with it. Getting older can be beautiful and fun, we must break the stigma!

  13. Daris Cheetham says:

    I could have written this article at this time in my life except for the fact my mother died many years ago. It made me realize I am not alone, feeling vibrant yet spending my days caring for my husband. My daily routine is much like yours but I have found time to stop and admire the things I didn’t just a few years ago. I live at the beach in Maryland and there is so much more than the boardwalk, you just have to look. It does your soul good.

    • Susan Good says:

      Thank you Daris. Losing a mother at any age is never easy. I am so glad you are finding ways to feel vibrant after loss.

  14. DeDe Collins says:

    Hi Honey, I enjoyed this article tremendously I can relate to so many of the situations and challenges that you have gone through. I am a positive person and have always tried to see the good in everything. I can’t believe that I am 78 years old! I have endured loss and pain, I cared for my parents who both had alzheimers, but wouldn’t change a thing, as it was a privilege to care for them. I have loved and lost and now have a wonderful husband of 33 years who I can’t imagine being without! I was still working full time when Covid started, then worked at home and eventually went to part time, then retired. That was challenging at first, and I am still dealing with the lack of people contact and responsibilities! I had hip replacement surgery last April which was very challenging. Health issues are very difficult. It is hard to be positive when you feel like you are close to leaving this earth. With my husband’s help I daily improved and and now almost fully back to my old self!! Life is full of challenges , some harder than others but staying hopeful and loving others helped me to come back to where I want to be! Thank you for your inspiring article!

    • Susan Good says:

      Thank you for your inspiring comment.I am glad you are also blessed with a wonderful husband. Happy to hear you are healing and moving forward in life. Being hopeful and having dreams is the best attitude. Warmly, Honey

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