Someone asked me what I love and deplore about aging, and an instant vision came to my mind. This week, I was sitting in our car at a red light with my ultimate concierge on Michigan Ave. Many people were crossing the street in front of the car. Being a visual person, I noticed the walking pace of the people. They were all ages, though mostly middle age, and I turned to my hubby and said, “I wonder how many of those people appreciate their age, how fast they can walk, how well they can hear and see?”. I don’t recall his answer, but I do remember it was very positive and made me smile. The light changed, and we made a left onto Erie Street to the Covid testing center. Again!
My husband needed ‘another’ Covid test… This time for a surgical procedure that had to do with his ‘fake’ aortic valve that was placed in his chest at the end of March. It leaked small amounts of blood, causing him to be anemic, among other things. His body was healthy and just like the ‘fake’ news, the cow valve was not doing its job properly. The last two Covid tests were needed because the fake valve’s placement needed to be checked before the surgical procedure.
When we drove up to the testing center, the person who took the data said, “You again!”. My husband smiled, I did not because I am weary from a year of health issues with my ultimate concierge. First a detached retina, then a broken wrist, then an aortic valve replacement. Now another surgery to stop the ‘fake’ valve from leaking!
What has kept me upbeat when I am worn out?
I Adore Love After 50
Love. Nothing is more important than making sure my ultimate concierge’s well-being and happiness is in check.
The surgery was last Thursday. It was successful! We were told beforehand he would be in the hospital for one to two nights. After the surgery, the doctor was so pleased with the outcome he gave my hubby the choice to stay the night or go home late in the day. His surgery was at 7:30am, but we went home together the same day!
I know love had to do with his decision, because he said, “You need me. I don’t want you to go home alone or stay the night alone. I want to be with you. Let’s get out of here!”.
Home we went, and who greeted us at the door with his waggy tail and delicious kisses? None other than our pooch, America Good!
True love. Love is a positive emotion, and in my opinion, the key ingredient to happiness as a woman over 50. It brings joy, hope, and positive emotions. Love for your spouse, partner, children, grandchildren, friends and pets is most important. Take your pick of one or all! It is embracing, comforting, sharing and most of all it is giving back.
I Adore the Word Time for the Woman After 50
Time is a blessing. After 50 you have the time to nurture relationships. The children are on their own and many of you have retired. This is the time to nurture your loving relationships, as well as take classes and meet new acquaintances. Being in relationships of all types is infectious! As a woman after 50, now you have the time to enjoy family and friends and the time to nurture yourself.
I Deplore Slowing Down
Back to the people crossing the street. I believe the strangers I watched smiling and walking briskly are grateful for many things, but as I stated above, not their youth. They just don’t think about aging. It is just not on their radar. But they should! They should shout out, “I am so lucky!”. I am going to mention this to my multigenerational friends.
I can honestly say I despise slowing down.
I deplore this part of aging. Personally, I have not felt any physical effects; my ultimate concierge has, and it affects me. I’m sad. I want to go, go, go. He also wants to go, go, go and do and see and be. It is his physical being. He just does not have the stamina he once had.
I Adore Looking for Every Silver Lining
Women after 50 have coping skills that younger women lack. We have acquired wisdom. I look for the silver lining when I am thrown a whopper.
We both want to continue our travels, live in Florida part-time, visit our grandchildren and take them on trips, etc. We cannot do these things unless we work on health matters.
My ultimate concierge goes to the gym three days a week for cardio and has a trainer come to the house the other two days a week to work on balance, posture and mind games. He would never do this without his wife, yours truly, setting up a schedule. This is good for me, too! This gives me hope and joy.
You can opt in on self-care for yourself and your significant other. In other words, darling, do yourself a favor as a woman over 50… take daily action to deal with life’s health challenges.
A few days ago, one of my close friends who is much younger than her hubby told me he was told by his doctor he had to use a walker. This man loves life. He is on a downer. I texted her to think about decorating the walker! Make his walker a conversation piece! Her hubby was a manufacturer of ties, always worked in fashion, and she is an interior designer. At least this might make her guy smile and do what he has to do. Obviously, this will have a positive effect on her well-being, which is just as important.
I Deplore My Saging Breasts and My Neck After 50
I have thought about breast surgery many times. But I know I will never go under the knife for my breasts for two reasons. Number one, I am afraid of problems. I have toyed with my negative feelings and tried to change my mind. I can’t. Anyway, I remember when I was dating my ultimate concierge he told me at the beginning of our relationship he was a leg man. I remember answering, “then I am out!”. He roared with laughter and hugged me. Now he is a breast man! He told me never to change what I have and this is the second reason I won’t go under the knife. Therefore, though I do deplore my sagging breasts, I will deal with a ‘safe’ challenge of finding a bra that is uplifting physically and emotionally. La De Da!
My neck is awful. Truth be told, the only time I think about my awful neck is when I see my photos. If I could, I would have it repaired. But that means a facelift. No to that! My neck has problems beyond my control. Underneath my neck I have scar tissue that cannot be removed. I also walked four miles a day without sunblock when I lived in Honolulu. The skin on a woman’s neck is the thinnest skin on her body so my neck really suffered. The rest of the problem is due to being a woman over 50. I can live with this.
Self Nuture After 50
After 50 is your time to pursue your dreams and your passions. This is your time to nurture your mind and your body.
I believe that self care is an act of self-respect. I want you to think about self care as the most important part of your lifestyle. Understand your needs and commit to them… without guilt. You will be a better significant other, mom, grandmother and friend when you are happy with yourself.
Self care means to live in the present, and that is your gift! It allows you to slow down and smell the flower in the moment. You will feel more ‘alive’ now because you are not a hurried woman or a woman who labors over your past.
Self care means to cut out the drama, expectations and demands of others. Let me tell you, it is to your benefit to do this!
Self care is being a comfortable woman over 50 because you know ‘who you are’ and this makes life more worthwhile. In other words, self care is not about the skin products you use (though important to a degree) but about your character, wisdom and the woman inside the dress. Hopefully, you are mindful of this?
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” – Oscar Wilde
The Wisdom a Woman Has Acquired After 50
Yes, we are wiser. We are wizened. We have grown more confident in the choices we make. This is a biggy and I adore this feature of aging!
Friendships After 50
I am now very confident in my choice of friends. Are you? I used to think the more friends the merrier, but now I think the opposite, and it suits me just fine. I now place the quality of my women friends over the quantity. Do you?
Now that I am a woman over 50 I have my inner circle of friends who have substance. Unfortunately, they are all over the country because of my vast lifestyle. This inner circle will never change!
I have been able to weed out women who are self-serving, unreliable and gossips. My choice of friends must bring something to the table. Firstly, I am proud to call them ‘my friend.’ They must intellectually challenge me, nourish me, have my back, add something to my life, and make me laugh.
I am not finished adding or subtracting women from my life. I think this is a healthy decision. Do you agree?
I know the importance of having acquaintances; especially multigenerational ones. Do consider this an opportunity!
Loss After 50
This is the only ingredient I deplore about my life after 50. Saggy breasts mean nothing. This is the biggie and it scares me. I know many of you feel the same. The worst is loss.
Over the past year, I lost my mother and one of my inner circle of friends. I am devastated. I have no control over loss. Furthermore, I love so deeply it hurts, and my losses at this time are tarnishing my life. I am mourning. I can handle anything with aplomb, and I mean anything, and come out smelling like Baccarat Rouge 540 except when it comes to the loss of my loved one.
Truthfully, I am not a morbid person, but I don’t know if I would survive if I lost my ultimate concierge.
Decline in Health After 50
A decline in health can be improved and even put off. Difficult, but manageable. Taking care of our loved ones and ourselves is a must for a woman after 50! This is the practice of taking an active role in protecting loved ones and ourselves.
I have been put to the test over the last year taking care of my ultimate concierge. It has tested my patience. But I am persistent, nurturing and loving. And stressed at times to the nines!
Let’s add up the pluses and the minus of aging for the woman after 50. The pluses win! Love, time, friendships, self nourishment, and wisdom. And there are many more pluses.
Our motto is to stay ageless by staying involved. To love and show gratitude. To act compassionate to others, not just be compassionate, and to live in the moment and rejoice that we are women after 50!
I am anxious to tell my younger multigenerational friends to add youthfulness to their list of why they should be grateful; to appreciate their ability to skip across Michigan Avenue with a bounce in their steps!
Lastly, I’ve been thinking how important you are as a woman after 50. So…
- Go to the beauty shop!
- Go for a manicure!
- Outfit yourself to the nines!
- Put on your red lipstick and spritz yourself with your favorite perfume!
- Strut your stuff out the door and say: “Hello world here I come!”
You are a woman over 50 who has earned your title. Wear it with pride because you are the woman in the dress, not the dress.
How has aging affected your outlook on life? What do you love and deplore about growing older? Let’s chat about it in the comments!