My goal is to help you create a lifestyle of positivity and possibility. I am smiling!

– Warmly, Honey

Today on Ask Honey – Speaking Your Mind & Much More

speak your mind

Life in Elsewhere

Life in Elsewhere is stressing me to the nines. My children and most of my grandchildren except for three are also upset. I guess in Elsewhere, 3 out of 26 is a good sign. One of my children cannot sleep at night. Three of my grandchildren grew up in the California school system with teachers who graduated from far-left teaching Universities. My kids attended or are attending Stanford, Berkley and one graduated from another far-left college in Oregon. I learned recently that our universities are populated with far-left professors. This has been in the making for years.

These three grandkids of mine are not marching but they approve of what is happening in Elsewhere. They are socialists. Two are enjoying the good life with high paying jobs. Such mediocracy.

Hard Conversations

On a weekly Sunday call, I lost all control with one of my grands. I was absolutely right to take a stand for freedom of speech, respect for law and order, and a continuation of life in a democratic society. Before I hung up the phone I told him to move to Venezuela for a real taste of Socialism before he gives his stamp of approval on the overthrow of Capitalism and Democracy.

My Ultimate Concierge was sitting next to me during the conversation. When I hung up he rolled his eyes and smiled. I looked back at him and quietly said, “This is the first time I raised my voice to a grandchild of ours and I am glad I did.”

The moral of the story is don’t sit back and play nice when you have your point of view. Don’t sit back when you are troubled and need help. Don’t be afraid to ask a woman where she gets this or how she uses that. Don’t be afraid to discuss with your children and grandchildren how appreciative you are to live in a free society where you have the freedom of choice to choose your doctor, your school, your bank… and your safety.

Warmly,

Honey

speak your mind

Ask Honey – Advice For Everyone

June 24, 2020

Maeve Asks:

Dear Honey,

I was cheated on by my boyfriend. As an older adult, it’s already hard to date, now I feel like I’m never going to find a love like you and Shelly.

Do you have any suggestions for me about dating when your older, or not dating the wrong people?

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

-Maeve

Dear Maeve,

Think positive. Where there is a will there is a way.

The safest way of meeting a nice man, who won’t cheat on you, is through a friend or family member. They will know his past history, and history doesn’t lie. You will be starting off on the right foot; not with a mystery man who is questionable.

If that is not an option I would not worry about your age. I would worry if you are not in dating shape. You want to stand out among all the rest. Remember, every woman has an inner and outer style. You can’t have outer style without inner style. Men are attracted to women who are warm, genuine, and personality plus!

You have to put yourself out there. No one will knock on your door unless there is an introduction. There are different avenues where you can meet single men. Of course the online over 50 dating services. Pick out the top three and sign up. Write a description of yourself that is true blue or you will not succeed. Join a wine club or a card club. If you have a pooch spend time at your nearby dog park. I take my pooch to a dog park and meet many people, some single and some married with single friends. Let them know you are interested in dating. Don’t be shy. How about Starbucks, or a singles trip?

Set your priorities of what you want and need in a man. I would run out of dodge after a first date if he did not meet my top priorities. Such as a physical attraction, an outstanding past, commonality, a sharing of the same interests, and background. My heart would signal me. Listen to your heart, it knows.

I was introduced to Shelly. On our first date, my heart went pitter-patter. So did his. We knew. My story is a miracle. Most relationships take time. Ours took but a moment in time. I am blessed.

Remember, nothing good happens by accident. Do you want something? Seek it out.

Warmly,

Honey

 


Sharon Asks:

Honey, you seem to manage your time well – getting a lot done while enjoying yourself. I struggle to manage my time. Can you give me advice?

Dear Sharon,

I am disciplined yet far from perfect. I like it that way. Women are gatherers. We can’t help it. We go out for a bouquet of flowers and come home with an array of other items. Right? So don’t be too hard on yourself. Prioritize your responsibilities and then focus. Those are my tips. Neither is easy but both are necessary if you want to organize your time.

My morning is focused on my priorities. I am organized. The rest of my day is flexible. I don’t want to live the life of a robot. I want to be free and do things at the spur of the moment. This is the time in the life of a woman over fifty to enjoy her life. That is also a priority.

I am up very early, around 5:00 AM. I love the early morning. In the silence of the morning, I watch the sunrise over Lake Michigan. I am calm, cool, and collected. I take my time and prioritize my list of ‘to-do’s’ for the day, close my two notebooks, put my fingers on the keyboard of my Apple, and write my story.

Around 8:00 AM I take my pooch America for a good 45-minute walk. Arriving home I fix him breakfast and then go into our office and get on my treadmill for 30 minutes.

I take a nice shower, put on my red lipstick, and go into the kitchen to prepare breakfast for myself and my Ultimate Concierge. We then have breakfast together.

By 10:00 AM I have written my story, made my list of priorities, exercised, spent quality time with my pooch, and had breakfast with my husband – I feel good. I am not stressed.

There are other things I do to organize my life.

I order groceries over the phone.

I have a housekeeper.

I keep two separate notebooks. This is my system of separating work and family. My two notebook system is very effective. My notes are prioritized by their importance. I check them off after I complete them.

I avoid the telephone. I talk on the telephone to my mother, my family, a few best girlfriends and my Honey Bees. I am a bad girl when it comes to phone calls.

I text message. Texts do the job. I love to text. My texts can be warm and loving with one or several emoji’s. And, texting takes me five minutes!

During the day in the life of a woman who runs a home and a business, unexpected circumstances arise. Our organized lifestyle can become disorganized in a split second. When this occurs, just flow darling, just flow.

Warmly,

Honey

 


Kathy Asks:

My husband passed unexpectedly just over two months ago. In this time of Coronavirus and self-isolation, I am having such a hard time being home all the time when going to work was actually a pleasure. The biggest and most unexpected thing I am dealing with is fear. Fear of so many things I never gave a thought to before. I was never a fearful person and I always knew Michael had my back.
Now it’s just me, just me to take care of the house, the cars, the dogs, the finances, and I could go on and on. I cry myself to sleep every night and talk to Michael all the time. I hope he hears me because there was so much left unsaid. We had 35 years of marriage but that was not enough. I just never thought I would be left alone like this.
Do you have any advice?

Dear Kathy,

I lost my late husband unexpectedly in my forties. I know how you are feeling. Your feelings of fear, loneliness, and where to turn are normal. I have a podcast on widowhood (Click here to listen). A podcaster read a story I wrote for the Huffington Post and asked to interview me. Please listen to it. I talk about my mourning process, a personal story of my step by step recovery. I want to tell you that now is the time to mourn the loss of Michael. It is the only way you will heal.
I did not join a mourning group because I had my way of healing but maybe you should consider a group. You miss working and our lonely so when you feel up to it perhaps it would be beneficial to join a group. Maybe you want to learn a new skill or you have a love of reading, travel or the movies. Joining a group will bring new people into your life. Do not let fear stand in your way. Take a deep breath, breathe, make up your mind, and do it.
If you are having trouble write back to me. I know your pain.
Warmly,
Honey

Laurie Asks:

Hello Honey,

I really enjoy your articles. I’m 63 and have dry skin. I too love skincare and makeup. What is your daily skincare routine? Are there any brands of facial moisturizers and oils or serum that are truly good for dry skin?

Thank you,

Laurie

Dear Laurie,

I also have dry skin. Let’s start with hydrating your body. Drink plenty of water. I use Le Mer products. I am certainly not an authority on skincare but I am happy to share with you my routine.
I use two La Mer products to cleanse my face. La Mer Cleansing Lotion in the morning and La Mer jell before bedtime. After I cleanse my skin AM and PM, I use La Mer Concentrate and Creme De La Mer’s moisturizing cream. I also use La Mer Lip balm and La Mer moisturizing neck cream. I love La Mer’s lifting and firming mask because it feels good on my skin, not because it lifts and firms my face. I also use La Mer’s body creme, Soin De La Mer. I use Sisley gentle make-up remover for my eyes. Lastly, but firstly I wear sunblock. Neutrogena Sheer Zinc Dry-Touch 50 at Walgreens.
I often substitute at bedtime olive oil and coconut oil instead of my La Mer products. I buy these products from the market. I love the feel and the fragrance of coconut oil.
As noted above I am not an authority of skincare products. I use Le Mer because I love the sea and the fragrance and the way my skin feels and looks. Yes, I splurge. I only have one face and I am determined to take care of it. I am smiling.
Warmly,
Honey

Thank you for all your wonderful questions. And, I hope you got something from my answers. I am smiling!

We are all GRANDWOMEN with Moxie, and we need to stick together. If you have a question for next week, please ask it in the form below.

13 Comments
  1. Honey, I strongly agree with your reply to the grandchild – I suggest the grandchild read Animal Farm and think about socialism practiced in Venezuela. The only time I saw socialism work well was how it was practiced on a kibbutz I visited in Israel . It seemed to work well for all … several generations of people stayed in it and endorsed the lifestyle. This would be a safe place to visit and life for a while to experience socialism in action.

    1. Thank you, Sharon. I have been to Israel four times. I understand what you are telling me. I was in V. in my twenties. I thought the city had been bombed! I am happy you are supportive.As a wife, mother, grandmother and friend I feel it is important to stand up for my principles and beliefs..for what I feel is right and just. Have a lovely week-end and again, thank you for writing to me. Warmly, Honey

  2. Honey I applaud your speaking out to your grandchild, who is embracing Socialism! This is such a depressing and frightening time to those of us who have lived a long life in the United States. I totally agree that so many young people are being indoctrinated in the left-leaning universities, and it does not bode well for our country. It is very hard to see this ending well for anyone. I have not yet encountered anyone in my family who is embracing the current chaos; I hope if I ever do I will have to courage to stand up to them as you did. It must be heartbreaking to see someone you love on such a misguided path. I always enjoy your musings on skin care, fashion, etc. but I really admire you for speaking out on such a difficult topic.

    1. Thank you Cindy! I am who I am and I have to speak out for what I believe. I think good will survive over evil. We must vote, American’s are not dumb. They are just silent. Think Positive.Warmly, Honey

  3. You are so correct to stand for freedom and democracy!!! Children today were not taught love of country, patriotism, or respect for others and their opinions. There is no perfect country because there are no perfect people. America the Beautiful🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

    1. Thank you for commenting to me. God Bless the United States of America. I am so proud to be an American and I am so grateful to live in this Country. It will remain as it should. Amen.Warmly, Honey

  4. Dear Honey,
    I was saddened by your post today.
    Our current situation, with COVID and the political and social unrest that we are witnessing, is stressing relationships and causing a lot of anxiety for everyone, as it has for you and your grandchild.
    I have different political opinions and views from those of my husband and other close family members. Expressing our different views can cause a lot of arguments and miscommunication. I try to remind myself that, as a family, we are stronger than political and societal differences. Times and circumstances are fluid and will change, but we, as a family, will outlast all of it. We seek to find commonalities and cling to those. It was recommended to me to read a book called “The Righteous Mind – Why Good People are Divided by Politics and Religion” by Johnathan Haidt. It helped me understand the “other side” of the family, and helped them understand me.
    I hope you and your grandchild can find some middle ground together.

    1. Dear Judy, I could not agree more.Family is always first. My grandson and I are close. I helped him decorate his apartment a few weeks ago and when he traveled abroad for a year I was his pen pal. It is because of our closeness I had our discussion. It is because I care. As his grandmother I have a responsibility to warn him of the effects of a Socialistic society.A strong genuine relationship can whether opposite opinions. Thank you for your wise and lovely message. Warmly, Honey

  5. I agree entirely with Judy P. I am of diverse political views to many of my right-leaning friends. If I dare to mention Covid, and how disastrously it’s being managed etc, in sweet undertones btw, I get bulldozed. So anything political is not an easy topic to face these days unfortunately..we live in VERY difficult times.

    1. I truly may have sounded politically leaning right but I am an Independent voter. I vote Democratic when I like their platform and Republican when I am in favor of their platform. Amen. I am against making one’s point through violent means, destroying innocents people’s property, disres;ect for our flag and the United States of America. I am grateful to be an American, to live in a free society, to worship as I choose, voice my opinion peacefully, go to a doctor of my choice and vote as I please. As far as Covid, no one including Dr. Falci who told Americans we did not have to wear masks at one point knows how to deal with this disastrous virus. Fortunately, our Gov’t is taking a middle of the road approach so families can eat and not be destitute, so suicides stop over failed businesses causing family despair, so people with Cancer, Diabetes and other conditions can get tested and recive help.There is no one in any country of the world who has an answer to this Virus and that is why I think our government is correct to take a middle of the road approach. We are all Americans and should thank our lucky stars that up until now we are still a Democracy. When I see on TV that 65% of our population don’t want to vote for Trump because they hate him then let them all vote for Socialism instead of Democracy. Let’s see what and who will be hated when these same people try and make a Dr. appointment and are told they have to wait a year because they are over 50. I am glad I am an Independent voter. I am not trying to create an argument with you. I am not a fighter. You and I are woman with minds of our own who are not afraid to take a stand and on my part peacefully disagree and remain friends. Warmly, Honey

  6. I too am an Independent voter, but I can say that I disagree with most of your points. So I won’t continue on a political bent. We can just say, as I do to my right-wing friends, let’s agree to disagree.
    Just a word, socialism, I can guarantee you is not a threat here, or anywhere in the Western world. I have a doctorate in political science, am English by birth, Italian by marriage, (American for 30 yrs) lived in both countries for great lenghths of time. I can safely reassure you socialism wasn’t even a success in countries that practiced it to the book. 😉
    I live in Florida, unfortunately due to the incompetent Gov, we are suffering a serious uptick in Covid contagion. Poor Dr Fauci, deserves a medal for his patience and perseverance in this entire affair, the only voice of sense from the get-go.
    Anyway, we can continue to discuss other issues of general interest, and so the world turns. Of course we can remain friends. If I wanted to discuss politics (subject of which I truly exhausted) I would have looked elsewhere.
    Stay happy and well.. Bridget

    1. We will be good friends. I am glad you wrote back to me. I will no longer write about ‘Elsewhere’ but concentrate on what gives me pleasure and positive thought. Sending warmth and respect…Honey

  7. Dear Honey,
    At times I feel that the entire population has lost all logic and common sense. I wonder how it is that I see things so differently? Then I read your post and calm down. You express exactly how I feel. I watched for years as my grandson would come home from school where teachers brainwashed their students into adopting liberal values. I would strive to always have him see both sides of the story and I think he now understands where our values come from. Even my daughter in law who is a democrat does not agree with all that is happening now. But sadly, I think there are very few of us that are willing to stand up and fight against this takeover of our country. We are being hijacked to a place we do not want to go.

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