The Book of Honey
Darling, every day is a chance to write a new chapter in the Book of You (in my case, the Book of Honey). This is an especially good time to record your thoughts because your life and lifestyle have changed dramatically.
How are you feeling? What old hobbies have you gone back to? What are you learning from scratch? How have you helped your family and others? Have you joined a group? What effect is this experience playing on your personal life? Are you becoming more resilient or more fearful? Are you angry, and if so, why?
I have kept a private little journal to record my feelings. I renamed the New World I am living in, Elsewhere.
Where and what is Elsewhere? Elsewhere is a place; otherwise known as the world. It is a new horizon I never dreamed my family and I would inhabit. A one-world Ruler has established its monster-like footing in mine and my Ultimate Concierge, my families, and every household from the Americas, to Asia, to Africa, Australia, and Europe. And, no human being is immune to this Ruler’s venom. He arrived in the form of a virus and his name is COVID-19.
My family and I are pilgrims walking down a road searching for answers to make our lives as normal as possible. However, we will survive together. We have not run away from our power to think and to act. Instead, we have risen to the occasion as a brave and resilient American family and shed our light on one another, helped our friends and strangers, Zoomed to stay in contact, taken courses, started new hobbies, and realized even more the importance of the word, gratitude.
When you have an awful or confusing situation come up in your personal life, outside of COVID-19, you visit your own personal Elsewhere, where you have to confront an unhappy situation. Meet your personal problems with power, justice, lack of fear of the unknown, and a sound mind. If you can you will survive, the experience will make you wiser.
Ask Honey – Advice For Every Woman
May 28, 2020
What do you do when you don’t get along with the mother of your grandkids and your son is going to marry her?
You are going to be the wise mother-in-law, mother, and grandmother. Keep the peace by watching your words and actions for your sake, the sake of your son, and your grands. And if you cannot mind your p’s and q’s the only winner will be your new daughter-in-law.
So, you have a choice. I speak from the experience of a daughter-in-law who had one mean mother-in-law. However, truth be told, years after I married her son, my late husband, I met a lovely older woman from the same city my husband was raised.
She said to me… and these were her exact words, “Your mother-in-law was…?” I answered, “Yes.” She went on, “You had the meanest mother-in-law in the world! How did you survive?” I answered, “Oh that was easy. My husband always took my side.”
However, I wasn’t happy about the situation. She complicated our lives but she was by far, the unhappiest.
So, dear Brandy, the ball is in your court. Personally, I would use sugar over spice.
Our 18-year-old grand nephew from MN is graduating from high school in May/June of 2020. We would like to gift him with funds to open his own long-term investment account. What would you suggest?
A Roth IRA that invests in Mutual Funds that he could add to on a yearly basis? Thanks!
I cannot give you advice on what or how to invest for your grandchild. I suggest you speak to a CPA or a Money Manager; one you trust that can give you sound advice. That person will advise you what to buy and how to set-up everything. There are tax laws to consider and different types of accounts.
What a lovely gift. Your grandson is very fortunate. And, hopefully, he will let it grow!
I’m approaching my mid-50’s and feel it’s time for a fashion/wardrobe makeover.
I prefer a classic/timeless look, but sometimes feel it’s too conservative. As well, I’ve been reading tons of articles on fashion for women over 50, but I am still struggling. I’d like to invest in a few good pieces, like a great pair of jeans, a blouse, sweater, dress, skirt, pants, and accessories. I’m a mother of one absolutely adorable young man, a wife of a great husband, a triathlete, author, and architect. Any thoughts or suggestions for someone like me?
I say, “dare yourself to dare.” By the way, I am a conservative dresser, too, but with an edge. I think you read my Sunday Story this past week (Click Here). If you notice in the pictures, my clothing is conservative. My accessories give me my edgy style. Copy me if you like. I would be flattered. Add a flower, add your husband’s tie to a suit, add a great pair of shoes like my yellow sneakers in the photo. Add belts…
However, dress for style, not fashion. Wear what makes you feel happy. And, remember, “Age is just a number.” Of course, you don’t want to look like a teen, but you do want to look like a woman with style.
I would invest in a little black winter and summer dress that you can wear during the day and dress it up for the evening. A few white blouses, a suit you love enough so you can mix and match. Wear the same jacket as a blazer and the pants without the jacket with a white blouse and sweater. You now have three outfits.
Buy two pairs of different style jeans and a few cool belts. Purchase a few small and large colored scarfs. Wrap the smaller scarf around the handle of a handbag.
I could go on and on all day. Therefore, I suggest you go into different boutique shops and talk to the managers and ask for assistance. You will know when you find the right person.
However, I have two rules: Don’t purchase anything you do not love. Don’t let anyone sell you something because you are afraid to say no.
The most important item to ‘shop for’ now is the man or woman who you feel will help you leap into the next phase of your ‘shopper’s life.’
Have fun. Enjoy the journey!
Happy Birthday, Honey. You are not alone. I am going to be 63 at the beginning of July and parenting my Grandson who is 5-years-old and on the autism spectrum. I get no help from my husband or the daughter who had him. My goal, to take my Grandson and my furbabies and say adios to those who do not care to help me out at this time in my life.
My only worry, if I die who will love my autistic Grandson as much as I do? Well, I do have lots of friends, and believe and trust that God will find him another caregiver who will care for him like he was their own, God willing. Hopefully, God has a plan, that will keep me around a while to see my Grandson be able to care for himself.
However, we need to trust God so we can worry less. I try to live in the moment day by day as my furbabies do, nothing like having them around for emotional support that I do not get from my immediate family.
Enjoy your BIRTHDAY Honey!
You are in a terrible bind. Yet where there is a will, there is a way.
The first thing on your to-do list is to sit down and make a plan asking yourself… Can I wisely accomplish my goal to leave home with my 5-year-old grandson? Do I have a will that provides instructions for my grandson’s security should something happen to me? Also ask:
- Am I in a financial position to leave my husband?
- Can and will my husband support two households?
- Where would I consider moving? Near friends and school?
- Realistically, will I have a support system if I move out of my home?
- Will his mother allow me to leave her father and take her son to new surroundings?
- Have I prepared a will? Is a plan for my grandchild documented?
- Do I know a wise person to council me in my decision making?
Your first goal before considering any move is to locate a safe and secure haven for your grandson in case something was to happens to you. As well, do you know who to turn to or have you turned to wise and knowledgeable people to assist you in making a decision? I would advise you not to count on friends to care for your grandson because they have their life’s complications.
If you are at a loss of who to speak to I would go to your clergy and your grandson’s teacher(s).
Thank you for wishing me a Happy Birthday.
May I suggest you join my private Facebook Group, GRANDwomen with Moxie – Where Loneliness Disappears. As well, if you get involved you will meet new women and guess what? You never know… Our membership is now over 1,000 women and we are but a month old.
Reach out to me if you need me.
Thank you for all your wonderful questions. And, I hope you got something from my answers. I am smiling!
We are all GRANDWOMEN with moxie, and we need to stick together. If you have a question for next week, please ask it in the form below.