Today on Ask Honey, we are discussing dating after the age of 50, how to stay positive in trying times, and much more. Read on for my answers to your questions!
Darling, over the past several months, life in Elsewhere, the name I give America because life as I know it is gone, has impacted the health and safety of our families. Our health has been threatened by the Coronavirus and our safety by a cultural revolution with violence that is taking place the likes that none of us have ever seen.
If I should pass a mirror when I am thinking about this relatively new life in Elsewhere, the look on my face naturally reflects back at me, interpreting my attitude and feeling. I notice it is expressionless. As I continue to walk past the large mirror on the wall, I catch myself and force myself to smile. Why?
I am the judge of my attitude and I have choices. My choice is to stay as positive as I can during these difficult times. I do this by trying to protect the health and safety of my family and my Ultimate Concierge. I ask in texts or phone calls, “Are you wearing your mask, washing your hands, staying 6-feet away from strangers and more or less staying isolated?” As far as their safety, I tell them… vote.
We make big and little choices all the time. Making choices can be very difficult. Looking into a mirror reflects back an interpretation of what we see. After we interpret we have to be our own judge and decide the meaning behind the interpretation and make a choice.
I am here to give you an opinion. You are the judge and the ultimate decision-maker.
Dating After 50, Friendships &
Traveling During COVID-19
I am presently attempting to “bond” with another person that I know from personal circles. She attends the same faith-based center I attend and lives not too far away. Although we do get along, I find that there is a difference between her and myself.
First of all, I seem to be the person that attempts to contact her. I sometimes suggest that we meet somewhere for a brief while, such as a nearby park. (She has a dog and brings the pup along to walk it. This is how we have been meeting lately!)
Anyway, I seem to be the only one to spark our communication. I am the one that calls her with an occasional text message. It doesn’t appear that she desires to contact me. I feel that if I would never contact her, I would not hear from her for quite a while, if at all!
Also, she doesn’t tend to share much with me. I tell her about my activities and events with the notion that she would reply either through my comments, or it would spark her in sharing a bit about her life at the moment. When this occurs, I somewhat feel that I am being the pushy one. Nothing aggressive or even stepping out of my bounds. I feel that this friendship is more of a one-way street rather than a two-way path.
Am I really going overboard with my attempts to kindle this friendship, or am I dealing with a person that I feel more for her than she does for me?
If she always accepts your invitation, it tells me she enjoys your company. Could she be shy? Or could she be the type of woman who does not like to share her feelings; preferring to hold them close to her chest?
I don’t think you are being aggressive. You are expressing a desire to make a new friend. The question is: what is her problem?
In all honesty, she is not making you happy. I would stop worrying about her feelings and get in touch with your own. Ask yourself why you are pursuing a one-sided friendship.
You could take one last stab. Have an open conversation. What do you have to lose? Nothing.
Invite her for coffee. Begin by expressing how glad you are that she met you for coffee. Then, get into the conversation in a kindly manner. Just be open and allow yourself to be vulnerable.
Showing your vulnerable side is not a form of weakness. It is a sign of strength. Explain that you would like to have a meaningful friendship and wonder if she does. Wait for her answer. If she is hesitant, try and lead her into her answer by saying, “If you are shy or like to keep your private thoughts to yourself I understand. Or, if you want a more casual friendship I will understand. I would like to know.”
Hopefully, she will open up. If she doesn’t it is decision time on your part. You are now the Judge. You have to make a choice.
Let me know what happens. I hope everything you wish for.
I was trying to remember if you meet your adorable, sweet husband through a dating expert service? You see, I am a 66-year-old retired educator of young children. I retired recently after 33-years of educating young children. It was my life’s work and passion.
I have been single for a very long time. I have tried so many dating websites and I’m really not too crazy about any of them in finding a man of character who is looking for a partner in life.
So my question is could you, would you, share with me the contact information for who you used to meet your hubby or if you know of someone who matches intelligent, loving, full of life people like me with men who have the same attributes?
I would truly appreciate your help. I read your post and follow you on Instagram. Darling, I love how you share your world, lift up women, and inspire us all!
Thanks so much for what you do and reading my message
Blessings to you and yours,
Debbie in Dallas, Texas
It is my pleasure. I hope I can assist you in finding Mr. Right.
A dear friend introduced me to my Ultimate Concierge!
I cannot definitively give you an answer about the dating services I listed below, except to tell you they are the top of the line and hopefully one will reel in Mr. Right.
Debbie, I am sending you back to school! You have seven dating services to meet your match. Here are the top seven. I did my due diligence. So, put on your red lipstick, and let’s do some investigation.
1. Zoosk: Most popular
2. Our Time: Attractive 50+ singles
3. Elite Singles: Mature dating
4. Silver Singles: Singles over 50
5. eharmony: Meaning fun connections
6. Match: Honorable Mention
When you write to all or some, I would be 100% honest about who you are and what you are looking for in a man.
Thank you for your lovely message. I am most appreciative for your sweet words. Wishing you perfect luck.
Keep me posted.
I’m thinking about traveling to Florida to see my grandchildren. Do you think I should wait until all this COVID-19 business is over, or risk the chance? It seems like if you take the right precautions, you’ll be ok. If not, what are some ways I can feel like I’m with them, even when I’m not?
I would not fly at this time anywhere. Going through airports and sitting on airplanes is dangerous. If you are driving: study your accommodations, eat at outdoor restaurants, keep your social distancing, wear your mask, and wash your hands. If you do this, I think you have a good chance of staying healthy. While you are in Florida, continue to be very disciplined.
You can stay in touch with your grandchildren with FaceTime, texting, phoning, and Zoom. If you don’t know how, learn. It is worth it. You can send little gifts through the mail, too.
I know these times are difficult. This too shall pass. Keep your spirits up.
At 83 is it ridiculous to want to date? Thank you, Honey!
No, it is not ridiculous to want to date. Love has no age limit. You can fall in love at 90 and get married. I know of a few couples living in a Senior living complex who did marry. Love is love, and the feeling of love is the same in a young adult as it is in an older person.
The first thing I would suggest is:
Check out the dating services I mentioned to Debbie in today’s Ask Honey Question. In the space where you are asked to write about yourself, be very honest in your description of yourself and your needs.
When you meet your date, exhibit confidence. You know who you are so don’t lose sight of that. It is important to compliment him, thank him, and give him his space.
I believe age is just a number. And, I think you do too. I am smiling!
Thank you for all your wonderful questions. And, I hope you got something from my answers. I am smiling!
We are all GRANDWOMEN with Moxie, and we need to stick together. If you have a question for next week, please ask it in the form below.