Honestly, darlings, the blues encompass a wide range of emotions from the depths of despair to the pain of Monday mornings. The word is a combination of sadness, *melancholy,*gloom and even despair. Obviously, there are a variety of reasons we experience the blues, depending on the circumstance. These feelings of discontent are especially common during midlife, when emotional ups and downs can feel more pronounced. These emotional challenges are often referred to as the midlife blues, a term that captures the unique struggles faced during this stage.

We can be divinely happy one minute–then all of a sudden, a short setback puts us in a funk for a short time. Or perhaps, out of the blue, we experience a jolt that changes our mood from delightfully upbeat to very sad. Some women over 50 fight depression and are blue, rain or shine, as they may be affected by internal emotional cycles or seasonal changes, not just external crises. Society’s expectations and messages about aging can also influence our emotional well-being during this stage of life. What can be done to combat all types of sadness?

Researchers have explained that the emotional ups and downs experienced during midlife are a normal part of the human experience, and understanding these patterns can help us better manage our feelings.

My Positive Resiliency

I am going to speak to you from my point of view. Although I feel I have earned my Ph.D. in Life, I am not a professional therapist. I speak from the point of view of a woman well over 50+ who has weathered a range of situations, some seemingly insurmountable, as have you. Sometimes these experiences seemingly last for eons. Then there are the blues we combat that put us in a funk for a short time as they come and go as part of life. Then once again, we are cheery souls.

Fortunately, the good news is that most of us do not suffer from chronic depression, which roughly 2% of the population experiences. We survive and come out of the blues with positive resolve.

I have the capacity, which I refer to as my personal rhythm or beat. This ‘positive resiliency’ or the ability to spring back from unpleasant situations, allows me to pick myself up from most circumstances. Building this resiliency can lead to a more fulfilling life and help you move forward after setbacks, guiding you toward greater happiness and well-being.

As you know, it is not always easy when a situation is difficult. It may take quite some time to find a solution; however, we do because we are determined, resilient women. Overcoming these challenges can restore your energy and sense of purpose, making each step forward even more rewarding.

4 Tips To Combat All Types of Blues

1. Support 365 Days of the Year

Let’s start with the worst-case scenario. If you know that you or a family member is clinically depressed, on drugs, or in another state of danger, I am providing you a safe haven with which you can start. Maintaining strong relationships and open communication is crucial for emotional health, especially during challenging times. Taking the time to communicate regularly with loved ones helps foster emotional well-being and strengthens your support network.

There is a helpline to phone for yourself, friends or family members if the blues are critical. Having a conversation with trusted individuals can support your mental and emotional health. Reaching out for help can also reduce feelings of isolation and help you feel more connected. It is free, confidential and they provide support 365 days of the year. The organization is known as SAMHSA – Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services and they can be reached at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).

2. Coping with The Little Things

I am beset like all of us with the day-to-day happenings that can put us in a funk. Personally, I think it is harder to handle the small stuff because we rarely give it much thought and these blips pass without severe consequences. I tend to get overly emotional about the little things. For example, I get blue when my iPhone acts up or when I cannot recall one of my 43 passwords! Even these small daily annoyances can increase stress, so it’s important to find ways to manage it.

When this happens, I may take America for a walk, or enjoy a warm shower because I do my best thinking in the shower or when listening to French or Hawaiian music. These work wonders; my body relaxes and I begin to see the world from a rosier perspective. To relax, you may enjoy meditation or trying a yoga class. Listen to your own needs and stay present—this can make these routines even more effective. I personally find joy in attending Pilates.

When I began writing, it helped me feel like I could take on any care in the world. So, my darlings, why not try journaling too? Journaling can be an uplifting activity that helps combat the blues! Additionally, consider setting aside a few minutes each day to practice deep breathing or mindful reflection to further support your well-being.

 3. Physical Care to Derail the Blues

I eat salmon and toss flaxseed on my oatmeal because it has omega-3 fatty acids, which are good for our cardiovascular health. I read that scientists are telling the public omega-3s found in oily fish and herring may also fight depression. The composition of the food we eat, including antioxidants and phytonutrients, plays a crucial role in supporting mental health. Research also shows that diet and physical activity, such as tai chi, can help reduce anxiety and improve mood. Studies explain that inflammation and poor dietary choices may increase the risk of developing depression over time.

One of my daughters realized she needed an abundance of natural sunlight in her life. She noticed when we moved from Honolulu to Chicago that she experienced the winter blues. Her family moved to Arizona so she could again have daily exposure to natural light. It worked!

If you cannot live in a sunny climate, doctors may recommend you purchase a lightbox. It is best used in the early morning and emulates natural sunlight. Light exposure can influence neurotransmitters in the brain, which play a role in mood regulation. Changes in season can affect mood, and a lightbox can be used even for those who don’t suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

4. Dealing with Larger Pains

The big stuff keeps me focused. It is so majestic; so large in magnitude one does not have the choice of going bonkers. One must sustain themselves in order to remain out of permanent despair. Navigating major life challenges requires strong connections and the ability to deal with adversity. I sit at my desk in Chicago, looking out over my beautiful city on a gorgeous day thinking of my bluest happenings and how I dealt with each one. Four words come to mind: avoidance coping and proactive coping.

If you choose to go the route of avoidance coping, I can promise you that you will create additional stressors. You are escaping coping. Instead, if you are proactive, you will be able to combat your blues by maintaining positive coping strategies and building meaningful connections. It is important not only to connect with others but also to maintain these connections over time, as staying engaged with your community and loved ones can help you face major life challenges and foster a sense of belonging. These approaches can significantly improve your outcomes. Being proactive is empowering, and feeling empowered feels good! Some psychological responses can also act as a defense mechanism during difficult times, helping you conserve energy and protect your well-being.

Here Is My Story of Proactivity

I want to tell you how I handled emotional coping to avoid severe blues. After my first two cancer surgeries two weeks apart, I spent days and months crying. I woke up every day, put on my makeup and maintained proactivity regarding my life. Moving forward and finding a sense of purpose made the journey more fulfilling, helping me focus on what truly mattered.

Similarly, I also wrote every day. I traveled with my ultimate concierge, worked out, shopped, never missed a CAT scan, saw my grands and spent time with my family. Practicing gratitude during these times helped me cope with the challenges and reinforced positive emotions. Nevertheless, hanging over my head, I felt a dark, black cloud.

Guidance From a Friend

One day, I walked into Chanel to see my friend. I knew I needed to be proactive about my health issues. It took me a long time to figure out my course of action, but when I did, I knew I was headed in the right direction.

My girlfriend had one of the same types of cancer that I had. I had seen her several times over the past few years and her attitude had always been marvelous.

We sat on a couch at Chanel and she told me what to do. We had an open conversation, and communicating my feelings with her was truly uplifting. She urged me to see a psychologist named Jennifer. I walked right home and called the office. After thinking through my options, I made the decision to talk to a friend who knew how I was really feeling. You may have heard similar advice before, but having a meaningful conversation with someone who understands can make a real difference. She had been where I was. I made an appointment with Jennifer that day.

She helped me through my very darkest days. My black cloud lifted. I now have grey clouds that scatter every so often and I have a black cloud when I am due for a CAT scan. I used proactive coping skills because I don’t believe in avoidance.

Find the Method That Works for Your Mental Health

There are serious situations we face after the age of 50: finances, health, adult children, kids, money, divorce, widowhood, and moving, among many other factors. I think you should begin tackling your situation by realizing this is a process. You have to find an appropriate method that works for you. Find ways to cope, such as joining classes or courses, or engaging with your community for support. Use proactive coping skills and your resilience to get you through things, and catch opportunities for connection and support whenever possible.

Striving for excellence should motivate you. It is about doing the right thing for your mental health in order to cope with the blues. Participating in new things and playful activities can improve your quality of life and help you stay connected.

Please share my musings with friends and family who may benefit from this story about coping with the blues.

We are all here to support one another.

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