I am wondering if you feel as I do.
The story you are about to read concerns our new imposed lifestyle in, Elsewhere. Oh, how I wish the normalcy of the old days would return to you, your families, and my family. I don’t think I am asking too much. The one positive effect Elsewhere has had on me is the ability to learn the joy of knowing when to say no and yes.
When I say no, I say it is because my inner voice is giving me the authority. My aim is never to be confrontational or hurtful. It is not my mantra. I also don’t want to have misgivings if I say yes, when I know I want to say, no! And, the last thing I want to do is make the other person feel uncomfortable. I have listened to enough talk in Elsewhere.
Dear reader of mine, there are ways to say no that are firm but not hurtful. For example, “I would love to help you, but I am committed elsewhere.” I am smiling.
Don’t stop pleasing, dear reader. I am a pleaser, too, because I like pleasing others. We should all enjoy giving 50% and even 100% but first, we must be true to our feelings.
We should luxuriate in joy when we say no in a lady-like manner. It is an empowering feeling to live our lives on our terms. Elsewhere awoke this feeling within me when I saw strong mothers take a stand in their schools. They exhibited confidence. They stepped up to the plate. They said enough is enough.
A woman 50+ has so much knowledge in her learned arsenal to take positions in a correct manner.
Though, the past few years have had a serious negative effect on my attitude I think there are always positive awakenings when one is faced with adversity.
Yes, the outside environment surrounding me in my beautiful Chicago is filled with lawlessness, and the inside of our home, when the television is on, sends out daily alarms in caustic tones of voices of people I once respected. And, there are the masks that hide smiles, the injections we are not sure we need or, for that matter, are safe. And the closing of cities and countries at a moment’s notice, and so on. This has created a lethargy in all American citizens but also a newfound spirit, to say no. I suppose I should only speak for myself when I say, “I have become a more empowered woman because of Elsewhere.”
Oh sure, we smile, we go through the actions of pretending all is well but I dare say there is not one of us who feels like we did when life was normal. There is an undercurrent of uneasiness and lethargy in everyone.
We have lived under this cloud in Elsewhere for 21 months. Count the days, dear reader of mine. It has taken a heavy toll on our spirit no matter our age, no matter our situations.
Just when I think life will once again be normal, I am disappointed and truth be told I see no end in sight with our world’s condition. But I am empowered to move on.
There are always positives we can make happen. We must pick ourselves up emotionally, take care of our bodies, and look forward. I know it is easy to ‘just be’ but it is not healthy. We have to say. Yes to life.
Fortunately, I am writing to you this morning with a gloriously bright sun rising over Lake Michigan. “Thank you, dear and glorious, Sun for putting a big smile on my face. You feed my soul with a feeling of resilience. You make me want to say yes, yes, yes.”
Our bodies need to be nurtured with healthy foods and exercise. Therefore, I forced myself back into my old routines … pilates class twice a week, boxing once a week, and I just took up belly dancing!
Why belly dancing? Because it is good for isolating different muscles in one’s body. Rebecca, my mindful trainer, and I wear belly dance skirts! Mine is pink and hers is lavender. Though I want to say, “No, I can’t do this,” I say, yes because it is good for my emotional and physical well-being.
I had gained some extra weight and have taken it off by taking my lethargic self and getting on my Spirit Fitness Treadmill, my Schwinn stationary bike, and Innova Inversion Table to lengthen my spine! ( Read more about my favorite wellness items here.) I am only able to accomplish this by saying, yes.
I decided I won’t let Elsewhere ruin my health and well-being.
STEPPING BACK INTO LIFE
Saying yes to my Ultimate Concierge is my greatest pleasure. It is his idea to start traveling again. He has a 3-day meeting. I was shocked he would want to travel to Dubai for 3 days. I wanted to please him so I said, yes.
To further our knowledge we are traveling on, with close friends, to Milan and Venice. The Opera House, La Scala, in Milan, and the old Jewish section in Venice are on our bucket list.
Am I grateful? Of course! Do I want to go? Yes! Do I feel the emotional excitement I used to feel when preparing for a trip? I am because I am saying yes to looking forward! And, I want you to do the same.
NO AND YES
After the age of 50+, you have acquired a breadth of knowledge due to your life experiences. Your ability to say no may be lying dormant, but rest assured, it lies within you. Your heart tells you when you should say no. You feel it
So, take your innermost feeling one step further and use your little mouthpiece to express your true thoughts. The results will enlighten you. The more you say no, the more you are empowered. Just trust your feelings. They belong to you. You matter, dear reader. It will become a joy to say no when appropriate.
Saying yes is difficult for me these days because I am wary. Saying yes for me at this time can be as hard as saying, no. I am sure you feel as I do.
We have been robbed of leading a stimulating lifestyle in Elsewhere. So, we have to force ourselves to get out of our rut. The only way to do this is to say yes to our opportunities, Therefore, we have to push ourselves to say, yes.
Remember, we are the captain of our little ship and as captains, we are in charge of our fate. So, push through the negative aspects of life in Elsewhere. You can do it! You are a resilient woman. Just try, try. try. I am smiling!