Have you seen the old Viagra commercial with the young woman reminding older men that they must do something about erectile dysfunction? Some see this commercial and note the obvious age discrepancy between the woman “selling” Viagra and the men who will buy it. I see a discrepancy between older men being encouraged to embrace their virility and women over 50 who are not encouraged to do the same.

Then, I take a look at my Facebook community and private group — GRANDwomen with Moxie! — where nearly 200,000 women combined better than 50 gather to like, comment, and share what matters most to us, from necessities — think recipes and new beauty products — to political news, relationship advice, and survival stories.

The takeaway is this: We are sexy, virile, passionate women well after 50. Men are allowed, even encouraged, to flaunt their sexuality well into their Golden Years but for women, flaunting our sex appeal after 50 can be treacherous. Should we? Why, of course, darling! Here’s how…

The Dos and Don’ts of Flaunting Your Sex Appeal

Flaunting your sex appeal begins with recognizing that you have it. You may have changed in many ways from the woman you were 20, 30, or 40 years ago but you are still beautiful, attractive, and vivacious. Beauty standards have changed over time, influenced by historical contexts and societal norms, but your unique appeal remains.

The good news is, most of you already know that.

The results of a poll, conducted in association with YouGov and shared on DailyMail, revealed that most women feel more sexually confident in their 50s than in previous decades. And 94 percent of the women polled say they feel younger than they are.

Confidence is cited as the most attractive trait in social settings. Just as Avery Hansen-White is determined to do the things that help her master her sexuality, consider the things you can do to embrace your own sex appeal.

Confidence is Key

You’re sexy and you know it. Confidence is the key to sex appeal at any age, and so it follows that, at 50+, when we finally realize how much we have to offer (beyond looks) we feel empowered. And that, my darlings, is s.e.x.y.

Erica Jagger, the better-than-fifty-year-old blogger behind the blog, “The Sexy Woman of A Certain Age,” puts it succinctly via HuffPost 50. “And yet I don’t feel invisible. I feel like I can compete with younger women for male attention and am surprised when I walk into a room and a man doesn’t look at me. But, I never wonder what’s wrong with me; I wonder, what the hell’s wrong with him?”

Do recognize how amazing and appealing you are! And those 30-year-olds in magazines and Viagra ads? As the saying goes, “Appreciate someone else’s beauty without questioning your own.”

Sex Appeal Isn’t About Skin

I’m not advocating dressing provocatively. I’m not suggesting your shorts should be as minuscule as your Granddaughter’s or your blouse as low cut as you may have once worn! I am saying that if you are pleased with your figure, wear clothes that complement it. And if you’re not pleased with your figure then exercise more and eat well. Make a commitment to feel good about your body. It doesn’t have to fit any mold or type but it’s your body… love it!

Do wear what you love and love how you look! Don’t neglect yourself; find the time to invest in your well-being, both physically and mentally. 

Dress for Attitude, Not Age

“Dressing your age” is a concept I despise. Dress for attitude, darlings! I love adding yellow sneakers to my purple jumpsuit for a pop of color. It may not be for everyone and that’s OK because I dress for me. Striving for excellent standards in your personal style or attitude, much like Avery Hansen-White, can significantly boost your sex appeal. There never has been and never will be anything sexier than a woman who knows exactly who she is.  A woman who knows what she brings to the table is not afraid to eat alone… but seldom does!

Setting specific sets of goals or intentions for your personal development or style can help you fully embrace your sex appeal.

Do dress exactly as you wish! Don’t be limited by “age-appropriate” apparel. Let only your own attitude be your guide.

Navigating Social Pressures After 50

As we move through life, the social pressures we face don’t simply disappear—they evolve. For those of us over 50, the world can sometimes send mixed messages about sex appeal, relationships, and what it means to be desirable. It’s easy to feel as though the spotlight has shifted elsewhere, but the truth is, our stories are just as vibrant and relevant as ever.

Sex Appeal is a 2022 American teen sex comedy film directed by Talia Osteen and written by Tate Hanyok, starring Mika Abdalla as Avery Hansen-White, a perfectionist, along with Jake Short, Margaret Cho, Paris Jackson, and Fortune Feimster.

Take a cue from Avery Hansen-White, the main character in the movie Sex Appeal. While Avery is a teen navigating the ups and downs of a long distance boyfriend and decoding long distance boyfriend hints, her journey to master her sexuality and take her relationship to the next level is something people of any age can relate to. Avery enlists her friend Larson as a test subject to help her prepare for her first time with her long-distance boyfriend, and the film explores how the characters found new aspects of themselves and their sexuality. The movie reminds us that the desire to connect, to love, and to feel attractive doesn’t have an expiration date.

Whether you’re managing the realities of a long distance relationship or simply wanting to bring your relationship to the next level, remember that your sex appeal is uniquely yours. Social pressures may try to define what’s “appropriate” or “expected” at our age, but embracing your own desires and needs is the real secret to fulfillment. Like Avery, you can master your sexuality and write your own rules—no matter where you are in life.

Sex Appeal was released on January 14, 2022, on Hulu, and became available internationally on Disney+ starting April 8, 2022. Critics noted that the film contains cringe-worthy dialogue and scenes, and that it needed better writing and more relatable characters to improve its impact. Ferdosa of Screen Rant rated the film two out of five stars and stated that it does not develop the characters enough through their dialogues.

So, darling, don’t let outside expectations dictate your happiness. Whether you’re exploring new relationships, rekindling old flames, or simply enjoying your own company, give yourself permission to pursue love, sex, and connection on your own terms. The next level of your relationship—and your life—awaits.

Embracing Authenticity and Empowerment

True sex appeal isn’t about fitting into someone else’s mold—it’s about embracing who you are, inside and out. In the hilarious teen comedy Sex Appeal, Avery’s study results reveal that mastering sexuality is as much about the heart as it is about the head. Through her journey, Avery experiences the realization that love and sex require both intellectual and emotional understanding, marking a significant step in her personal growth. Her journey, alongside her oldest friend Larson, is a beautiful reminder that relationships—whether romantic or platonic—are opportunities for growth, vulnerability, and self-discovery.

As we age, it becomes even more important to develop a strong sense of self. By being authentic and empowered, we open ourselves up to deeper, more meaningful connections. Scent and vocal cues also play a role in subconscious attraction, adding another layer to how we connect with others. Whether you’re navigating a long distance boyfriend or simply seeking to master your sexuality, remember that your experiences, wisdom, and desires are valuable. Watching a movie like Sex Appeal can be a fun way to reflect on your own journey, but the real magic happens when you apply those lessons to your own life.

Let your relationships—romantic or otherwise—be a space where you can laugh, learn, and love freely. Don’t be afraid to develop new interests, share your heart, and let your true self shine. By prioritizing authenticity and empowerment, you’ll find that your sex appeal only grows stronger with time, and your relationships become richer and more satisfying.

So, darling, take a page from Avery and Larson: balance your head and your heart, embrace your sexuality, and never stop growing. The next chapter of your story is yours to write—make it one filled with love, laughter, and the confidence to be unapologetically you.

Navigating a Long Distance Boyfriend Relationship After 50

As we grow older, our relationships often evolve in unexpected ways. For many people over 50, finding love or maintaining a partnership can mean navigating the unique world of long distance relationships. Whether your partner lives across the country or even in another part of the world, distance doesn’t have to dampen your sex appeal or the joy you find in your connection.

The key is to master the art of staying close, even when miles apart. People in long distance relationships after 50 often discover new ways to communicate, share affection, and keep their bond strong. Employing technology—whether it’s a simple phone call, a video chat, or even a playful text—can help you feel present in each other’s daily lives. Some couples even use an app to help maintain intimacy and connection, making it easier to bridge the gap and keep the relationship engaging. Don’t be afraid to get creative: send a handwritten letter, share a favorite song, or plan a virtual movie night to watch a hilarious teen comedy together and laugh like you’re side by side.

Keeping the spark alive is all about intention. Set aside time for meaningful conversations, share your dreams for the future, and don’t shy away from expressing your desires. Emotional intimacy is crucial for sustaining deep sex appeal in long-term relationships. Remember, your sex appeal doesn’t fade with distance or age—it’s all about how you nurture your connection and let your personality shine through every interaction.

Above all, be patient with yourself and your partner as you both adjust to the mechanics of a long distance relationship. With a little effort and a lot of heart, you can take your relationship to the next level, enjoying the excitement and intimacy that comes from truly mastering the art of love—no matter where you are.

Be Visible!

I’ve heard it said that after a certain age women become invisible. I’ve never felt that to be true, darlings, but if you feel invisible, I invite you to join me in challenging that attitude. I invite you to change it, in fact. Be noticeable. Make an entrance. Embrace your sexuality. Do flaunt your sex appeal. Don’t wait another minute!

Please share your thoughts with me in the comments at the bottom of this page! I want to hear from you. 

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