The past few days leading up to today, Mother’s Day, I have written mainly about my mother, the person who gave me a first kiss and the person who taught me my first lesson.
It is in the wee hours of the morning and the saying, “Like Mother, Like Daughter” is on my mind.
I ponder over the saying wondering how much positive influence my friends’ mothers had over them. I think of one of my closest friends who is not at all like her mother. How did my friend escape her mother’s influence?
As I reflect on the Yin and Yang of this Mother and Daughter, I think I understand. My friend loved her mother, but probably did not like her attitude or behavior and decided early on she did not want to emulate her.
When I hear the saying and think about my mother, there are so many things I want to emulate while remaining true to my individuality. So, is this lovely saying, “Like mother, Like daughter” often true?
I recall hearing some of my mother’s sayings that I took at face value; that is until I began writing. A writer unearths her thoughts to give herself the opportunity to gain deeper clarity and eventually live into an answer on paper and in life.
I decided to do this with a few of the sayings.
Instead of taking sayings at face value, I deliberated about them and learned a few things in the process because sayings are meant to contain advice or speak words of wisdom.
Sayings have been handed down from generation to generation, so I believe my grandmother taught them to my mother, and my mother taught them to me, and I passed them down to my daughters.
UNIVERSAL SAYINGS TO QUESTION
- ‘Everything happens for a reason.’
- ‘Blood is thicker than water.’
- ‘You will kiss a lot of toads until you meet your prince.’
- ‘Like Mother, Like Daughter.’
- ‘Written in stone.’
- ‘Think twice before you speak once.
WERE MY MOTHER’S THOUGHTS ON SAYINGS WRITTEN IN STONE?
Last evening over dinner at Gene and Georgetti, I brought up the topic, for discussion, on questioning the validity of age-old sayings.
I told my mother that I no longer felt all sayings were written in stone. I observed this mother of mine as she reflected on my every word knowing she would not let me off the hook without explanation, so I plunged right in with my reasoning.
“Mom, not everything happens for a reason; sometimes there is no plausible reason why something happened, and the last thing a person wants to hear is, ‘everything happens for a reason.'”
My mother looked at me and without batting an eye, agreed and then paused to say, “There are some happy circumstances when the saying is apropos in a tongue and cheek manner.” I looked at my mother and, without batting an eye, I I agreed. We laughed.
My mother did not agree with my feelings on the saying, “Blood is thicker than water.”
She said, “Blood is always thicker than water.”
I feel this is not true because unfortunately some family situations are unforgivable and distancing oneself from toxic or abusive relatives is important to preserve one’s sanity. A friend or several friends can act like family. I see it among my friends. We remained at an impasse.
We laughed at the saying, “You have to kiss a lot of toads until you meet your prince.” We were in perfect agreement that a woman of every age is in charge of her life and never should kiss a toad. We gabbed about her first date with my father and my first date with my ultimate concierge. My mother said, “We both chose Kings.” We agreed and laughed, once more.
‘Like Mother, Like Daughter’ dates back to the 1300s. I believe I am my mother’s daughter in far more ways than not because I admire her qualities and I am blessed to have a wonderful mother to emulate. My mother felt the same way about her mother. Once again, we did agree, that, unfortunately, not all mother-daughter relationships click.
The saying ‘written in stone’ means forever. I like the saying. I use the saying but I am careful to ‘think twice before speaking once,’ before I utter the words, written in stone. My mother and I agreed.
The one saying we partially differ on, ‘Blood is thicker than water’ we agree that family comes first and that blood should always be thicker than water. My mom tends to be idealistic and I am realistic.
I asked my mom, my ultimate concierge and the others around the table at Gene and Georgetti, which of the six sayings was their favorite.
The winner was: ‘Think twice before you speak once. ” We all agreed this saying should become Universal law.
Happy Mother’s Day, darlings!