Making the Holiday Season Joyful During the Pandemic

We all want happiness and joy in our lives, particularly on special occasions that we wait for and anticipate whether they happen once, like a wedding, or repeat themselves yearly as Christmas and Hanukkah do. Holiday traditions play a significant role in shaping these special occasions, helping to create lasting memories and a sense of connection. Enjoying big events that often have memories, both happy and sad, as winter holidays do for just about everyone, can be hard to handle emotionally.

As a positive psychologist, let me share some of the reasons why these holidays can be so hard for so many people. The meaning of the holidays may feel different this year, and it’s normal to experience a wide range of feels during the holiday season, especially during a pandemic. Then I will share suggestions that can help you relax, enjoy, and have more happiness and joyful moments this year—even with a pandemic surrounding us.

Lots of Extra Planning

First, major holidays usually have extra planning, cooking, travel, and the need to plan ahead, all of which can easily lead to frustration, anxiety, and exhaustion.

On top of the above list, there are all the characters in our personal dramas that we each live with. For example, when Aunt Edith walks in on Christmas the tension begins. She drinks a little too much eggnog and then blasts either the kids for being noisy or reminds Sally that she is still carrying that weight from the last baby.

This year, you may need to decide how to spend time with each family member, especially if large gatherings are not possible or need to be reconsidered due to safety concerns. How you spend time with family members may look different this year, as traditional celebrations may need to be adapted.

Then there are the memories. There is the chair that Dad always sat in or the jokes that always lightened the meal, told by Uncle Harry who passed last year. And maybe this year there is even a more poignant recent loss, due to the Pandemic. I hope that is not the case at your home, but it will be for some.

Understanding the Brain

Now for a bit of brain understanding. Our brains are fabulous machines, still beyond the full comprehension of even the greatest scientists and doctors. What we do know for sure is that our brains can go into overload, due to emotional upsets. As well as lack of sleep, too many expectations and chores on our minds, worries, and even poor eating habits. When our brains are in overload we do not think as clearly, we have more moods that weaken our ability to make good decisions. We feel all sorts of emotions that are unpleasant, such as frustration, anger, disappointment, rage, despair, and more. The result is that we often come into holidays wrecked emotionally and our bodies crying out for better sleep, the right foods, time to relax, etc.

How can we help our brains, our bodies, and therefore ourselves to prepare for and enjoy more fully the holidays? Here are some suggestions.

Do Not Take On More Than You Can

Do not take on more than you can easily do for the holidays. That may hurt your ego a bit to give up certain traditions and the memories that accompany them, but your mind and body will thank you. Remember, traditions from the past may need to be adapted to fit your current situation. Let yourself think clearly and not be overtired and wrecked. For example, should you bother to knit a scarf for each grandchild? Lovely if you did this in advance while sitting on the beach in the summer. But if you didn’t, and now it is two weeks to seeing the kids or mailing the scarves for that Zoom Christmas day together, it may be best to let go of the idea and give gift cards. This could also be an opportunity to try a new kind of holiday activity or tradition.

Your Needs Come First

Take care of your own needs first. Remember what they tell you on an airplane, put your own oxygen mask on first. That means getting enough sleep, eating properly, and following through on any medical needs. Take care of yourself in whatever ways are necessary for you.

Watch Your Favorite Holiday Film

This is a way to assure ourselves that we have the energy and clear thinking necessary to have real fun and joy. Think about a favorite movie you may love. Maybe it is A Christmas Story. That is one of my favorites. I watch the movie and remember so many things I experienced as a child; The snowsuits made from wool that were agony to get on and off, sitting on Santa’s lap, wanting a certain doll, for me it was a Toni doll, where you could wash and set her hair. Watching holiday films can be a joyful activity for children and adults alike, bringing families together and creating lasting memories. Creating a cozy space at home for enjoying holiday films can make the experience even more special. The miracle of watching this movie for me is that I do not have to feel any of the pain or disappointments that I really faced me as a kid. The movie helps me enjoy childhood without any pressure on me. That enjoyment is what lifts my spirits.

Watching movies together can also be a good opportunity to talk with children about their holiday feelings, helping them express emotions and feel connected.

Lighten Your Load

The bottom line to joy during the holiday season, even during this Pandemic, is giving yourself as many ways as you can to lighten your load. The emotional and chore load you burden your brain and body with interferes with your best mood and energies.

Here are some tips to help lighten your load and find comfort: favorite movies, music, phone chats with women friends, an upbeat novel, a streaming series you like, comfort foods, sharing meals, enjoying a home cooked meal, a cat purring on your lap, or a dog on YouTube playing the piano. These activities can be enjoyed in a COVID-safe way, and remember to practice social distancing when necessary. You know best what will work for you.

Treat Yourself

Treat yourself as the most special guest you could be entertaining for the Holidays, feeling grateful for the opportunity to celebrate yourself, and the result will be joyful.

Remember, treating yourself is an important part of the holiday celebration.

Connecting with Others

The holiday season is all about connection—sharing holiday cheer, laughter, and love with family and friends, even when circumstances make it challenging. During a pandemic holiday, staying connected may look a little different, but with a little creativity, you can still make the holidays special and meaningful for everyone.

If you can’t gather in person with your extended family or loved ones, consider hosting a virtual event. A Zoom call or a virtual holiday meal can bring everyone together, no matter where they are. You might even invite family members who live far away and wouldn’t normally join your holiday plans. Sharing stories, playing games, or simply enjoying a meal “together” on screen can help everyone feel connected and included.

This season is also a wonderful time to reach out to those who may be experiencing financial hardship or loneliness. Express gratitude by writing heartfelt letters or making phone calls to family members and friends you can’t see in person. Small gestures can mean the world, especially to someone who might be feeling isolated. If you’re able, consider donating to a local food bank or volunteering at a soup kitchen—helping others is a beautiful way to spread holiday cheer and create new traditions of giving.

Looking for creative ways to make the holidays special for kids and families? Try organizing a scavenger hunt around the house, or host a virtual game night with family and friends. You could also start a new tradition, like making homemade gifts or cooking a special holiday meal together as a family. These little things can create lasting memories and bring joy to everyone involved.

Remember, the heart of the holiday season is about gratitude, connection, and joy. If you find yourself struggling with feelings of loneliness or sadness, don’t hesitate to seek professional help—your well-being matters. And don’t forget to take care of your health, both physical and mental, as you celebrate safely and meaningfully.

By the way, do not stop with the holidays. Why not treat yourself more often as the precious person that you really are?

Sometimes friends and colleagues call me, Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein: ‘The Enchanted Self.’ That’s because as a psychologist in private practice for over 35 years, I’ve developed a form of positive psychology called The Enchanted Self. I’m not enchanted, but I do have many ways and ideas to help all of us feel better through all stages of life. These methods help us to recognize our potential, regardless of our age, to grab on to our talents and find again and again the emotional energies needed to be creative, resourceful, resilient, and to live joyfully.

In two minutes share with the ‘girl’ from my books, The Truth, Diary of a gutsy Tween and Secrets, Diary of a Gutsy Teen, and my films, the ‘girl’ who has no name, as she is all of us. Share with her as she goes from despair to elation as we most, not only in today’s pandemic but as we travel through life. Enjoy seeing the joy she finds loving and connecting once more and bring it home to your and your grand-kids. Watch the film at: https://vimeo.com/402998418 and feel free to pass it along!

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