Women have many character traits that differ from their husbands or significant others. Let’s not forget, men are from Mars and women are from Venus. My imagination views Venus as a representation of a magical potion, in other words, the wisdom or the elixir guaranteed to induce and keep love alive.
You darlings, you have the magic elixir that makes a marriage after 50 successful.
The Elixir Is Within You
Many of you are empty nesters with time to travel. It’s your time to be just the two of you. Or perhaps you may be unable to travel for several reasons, but it is still the two of you. Maybe your marriage is not in its happiest state and your man would like it to be just the two of you.
Many of you remarry and problems may arise because of the blending of two families. Many of you are living with a partner out of a marriage and have to contend with blending two families. Some of you may have outgrown your husband emotionally, intellectually or vice versa and neither of you knows what to do.
Or you may have a retired husband whose time is filled with empty hours and you are as happy as a clam because you are busy yet feeling guilty. And unfortunately, many of you are living your life after 50 with an ill mate or you may be ill yourself and both situations make it even harder to keep love alive. Regardless of your circumstance, you have bloomed into a mature, wise woman with strong opinions and desires.
Darlings, you have the magic elixir, the wisdom, that every woman has within her that I feel is guaranteed to keep a good marriage alive after the age of 50. We have heard the saying, it takes a woman to make a marriage. Well, it does.
Looking Back in Time
Going back to the beginning of time, the caveman was the hunter, all for his wife. He found her a cave that was high enough to prevent it from flooding. He brought wood to the cave to keep her warm. Fighting off animals to protect her from death, he also killed animals for food. He was gallant and all he wanted in return from his wife was love. If she was a wise wife, she got the message.
I have been married for almost 27 years to Sheldon Good, who is the ultimate concierge. If you were to ask him, “What is your essential need in marriage?” I know exactly what he would answer, “My wife.”
A husband or a significant other wants to be connected to his woman in all ways. His main desire is to make her proud of him and make her happy. That’s it.
Advice From My Mother
I remember when I was getting married, my mother gave me this advice, “Never turn your husband away–always put him first.” She lived by her words. She was a marvelous wife and nothing came before my dad’s happiness. My mom was also a dynamo. She did everything, yet still knew the value of putting her man first.
If you asked me what I want in my marriage to Shelly, I would answer, like all of you “my husband AND my children, my grandchildren, my friends, and family.” In other words, a combination of many things fills my needs for a happy marriage.
This is why Venus and Mars can have problems. Women go into marriage for the whole package. Men go into marriage for the woman.
Taking Care of Our Husband
I believe when a marriage sours, it is more often than not because a wife does not have the wisdom to know how to separate her busy life from her life with her mate, causing him to feel he is not first on her hit parade. She is busy taking Zumba lessons instead of making love to her husband, reading the same book with her husband or holding hands in the movies. That is why many men have affairs, walk away from their marriage or stop talking.
All men are little boys and if we don’t take care of them, someone else will or we will live with very unhappy spouses.
A Woman’s Wisdom Is The Magic Elixir
Again, I am thinking of my marriage to Shelly. This morning as the stillness surrounds me, I ask myself whether I still follow my mother’s guidelines.
I am not as perfect as she was because I have a late-in-life career; nevertheless, I have the wisdom to include my ultimate concierge in my work. I read him my stories and he often adds and subtracts before I finish with my musings.
Ensuring Our Significant Other Feels Important
If you have a career, do you share your workday and its joys and tribulations with your husband? You see, darlings, when we include them we make our men feel they are very important. After all, all they really want is us.
Remember, all men are little boys. I hug and kiss my husband several times a day and take his hand. Do you? I watch the tone in my voice when I am busy because I don’t want my tone to convey I feel bothered, even though I am. Do you watch your tone?
I often smile at my husband because my smile conveys affection. Do you? I thank my husband regularly and I help him whenever he needs me. And, I show my concern. No, I am not a perfect wife, but I always try to be as supportive as possible.
It is easier to have a good marriage after 50 when all of our planets align. The problem is they are sure not to be. That is when it is time to remember that all our man really and truly wants from us is us. We are the magic elixir that keeps the marriage whole.
What are the little and big things you do daily to make your husband feel important? How are you the magic elixir in your partnership? Let me know in the comments below or on Facebook.