My goal is to help you create a lifestyle of positivity and possibility. I am smiling!

– Warmly, Honey

Today on Ask Honey: How To Take The High Road

This post was updated on October 1, 2020

how to take the high road

Do you know how to take the high road? When we are falsely accused, professionally, or personally, we are faced with three difficult choices. We can let it go and allow the problem to continue. Or, we can let it go because it feels right. Lastly, we can fight to clear our name! In all cases, I believe we are best served when we choose to take the high road.

I typically take the high road because I feel it serves me best. I am now of the opinion, from personal experience, that there are times to roar back to protect one’s reputation, legacy, and daily happiness. This takes great thought and depends on the situation.

Of course, I struggle and weigh my options and take the high road even when springing into action. I see the glass half full and choose to make sweet lemonade out of lemons. I’m glad I forgive because I don’t like to carry negative baggage.

I Have No problem Forgiving. I Don’t Carry Grudges.

And yet, I must admit I have a problem holding people accountable who I know have wronged and hurt me, and I struggle with the ‘good person syndrome.’ I still feel taking the high road better serves me. But to my joy, I began making headway in another manner that still serves me well. I slowly disengage myself from the relationship. I move on and hit ‘delete.’ You all know my word, delete, darlings!

I experienced one major situation in which I allowed my reputation and my legacy to be tampered with… and actually tarnished. This is because, I thought that coming from love would end the problem because I believe in the ‘good person syndrome,’ to keep the peace. I learned this is not always the case. To sit idly by hoping a severe situation will pass only allows your perpetrator to ignite his or her blaze. But nevertheless, at this juncture, I have still decided to take the high road and be silent.

The first question we should ask ourselves is ‘why is this happening?’ It usually happens by surprise when someone takes an intentional, damaging, and hurtful shot at you.

Take The High Road

How to Take the High Road:

Find Your Salvation in ‘The Lesson’

The lesson: character assassination has nothing to do with you. It has everything to do with the other person. That is why I take the high road.

The salvation: never lower yourself. Maintain your integrity.

Every person — family, friend, or business acquaintance — who maligns another person’s reputation and legacy, i.e. character assassination, unfairly, will eventually be held accountable by observers.

Every person who tries to ruin your reputation or legacy will hopefully learn there are consequences for their poor behavior.

Take The High Road

How Do You Stop the Person?

1. Learn how to take the high road.
2. Learn to identify a toxic person and stay away.
3. Examine your role that created their behavior. Did you do something?
4. Stand up for yourself by honoring the you in you.

The Warning Signs of a Toxic Person…

1. They create drama by making small problems into large problems.
2. They refuse to take responsibility.
3. They are cunning and devious.
4. They have up and down behavior patterns.
5. They are jealous and angry.
6. They are envious.

I have gotten angry with myself for taking the high road. And, I want to lash out and defend myself. I don’t. Instead, after I have calmed down, I realize the person who is on the attack is not admired by those in his or her circle. They know the truth. They know who I am and how I conduct myself. So…why would I stoop to the angry person’s level? I won’t because I know who I am. Instead, I will continue to take the high road. I am smiling.

You know who you are. If you are wrong, take the high road and apologize. If you are wronged, still take the high road. Remember, this is not about you…it is about him or her.

Have you learned how to take the high road? Please share your thoughts with me via TwitterFacebookPinterest, Instagram or in the comments section below.

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24 Comments
  1. Dear Honey,
    I couldn’t agree more! Moving on and out of the toxic persons life is the best statement we can make. It hurts when someone has stabbed us in the back and it’s so hard to forget. Forgiveness is difficult too but must be done in order to free ourselves.

    Great article! Thank you for the high road reminder.

    Susan

    1. We must remember, this is not about you. It is about them. We keep our integrity, even though it is hard. Warmly, Honey

  2. Is very bad when people do bad thinks to you but for my self I believe that God no everybody hearths and he no even do hursts but he no my heart ❤️🙏🏻

  3. This is one of your best and most insightful articles. So sorry you had the experience, but by sharing you have made us all stronger. Thank you. Hugs.

  4. Honey, this is so true. Several years ago, I faced the hard fact with relationships that didn’t feel “right”. I to decided step back and assess. I realized that I was doing things to please some others and I was miserable. It took some diligence, but I left those relationships behind. Leaving relationships behind that din’t “fit” with me has been the best thing I have ever done and I am a much happier person.

  5. I had a friend who stabbed me in the back. Unfortunately she told it to my mother-in-law who warned me that she was not my friend. I deleted this woman from my life even though she asked me for forgiveness. I am more forgiving since I have gotten older.

  6. Boy oh boy does this hit home. A few months ago I was accused, with extreme venom, of saying something unflattering about a coworker. The person who accused me refused to speak to me or tell me anything–what I was told was through the grapevine and I am 100% certain it was a lie. It forced me to leave my job. After 2 attempts to talk to my accuser, I walked away. It was clear that he was not interested in the truth and his venom was so extreme that I felt my only choice was to take the high road, move on, and delete him. The people around me rallied and supported me fully–but saying nothing and not confronting him was indescribably hard. Looking back these few months, I know it was exactly the right thing to do. Thank you SO much for sharing your experience, Honey.

  7. VERY WISE WORDS, THANKS! – “I have gotten angry with myself for taking the high road. I want to lash out and defend myself. I don’t. Instead, after I have calmed down, I realize the person who is on the attack is not admired by those in his or her circle. They know the truth. They know who I am and how I conduct myself. So…why would I stoop to the angry person’s level? I won’t. I never will. I know who I am. I will continue to take the high road. I am smiling!”

  8. Honey, this sure hit home for me! My ex-husband was the issue for me after 30 yrs. of marriage. Such a confusing, painful, bizarre time in my life. You’re so right…it’s not about me. I took the high road and finally have peace in my life. Thank you for sharing this!

  9. Taking the high road is the easy part, living with the decision is the hard part. One always wants to figure out why this situation occurred but it is a waste of time. Delete the person and relationship and keep going. Lashing out is not productive as it moves you down to the miserable person’s level.

  10. Great article! But I have taken the high road so many times, that I have to admit that I would l.o.v.e. to take the low road. I would never do character assasination but I am so tired of excusing rudeness, betrayal and disappointing uncalled for behavior. I’ve always been “nice”. Just letting the other person know in a not so nice way would be a little piece of satisfaction.

  11. What do you do when it’s one of your adult children or your adult sibling that is toxic? The sibling I have a pretty good handle on. and just limit contact. It’s not comfortable for me and I miss the closeness we once share, but it is working. I am working to set some healthy boundaries with the adult child, but that is really hard. Any suggestions?

    1. My suggestion is this. Do everything in your power to mend the relationship. I think you are fortunate that setting boundaries is an option. If it is too taxing on you and you are walking in place AND YOU FEEL IN YOUR HEART you have given the relationship your all…walk away for your sanity and ENJOY YOUR LIFE.Let her deal with the loss of her mother. Warmly, Honey

  12. I believe that the worse thing you can do to people that harm you is to delete them from your life. That is the worse thing for them and the best for you. No one likes to be ignored. If someone does me harm I no longer see or talk to them. That may be holding a grudge. I’m not sure.

    1. I think you are right about deleting. When I have given my all to a relationship and nothing I say or do works, I don’t say one word. My action speaks for itself. I walk away with a clear conscience and breathe a sign of relief. Warmly, Honey

  13. I experienced this issue at work 2 days ago , a co worker had spread a rumor stating that I had shared private information about a colleague. When I was told this I was shocked and angry. I have sat on the fence seriously thinking about how to handle this……This young lady is a known troublemaker who gossips about people ….. I cannot ignore her as we work together daily. I am going to take the high road I need to let go.
    THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW THE LEAST
    ABOUT YOU HAVE THE MOST TO SAY

  14. I always love to read the comments and boy, I can tell you that I’m so glad I’m retired and don’t have to deal with the workplace nonsense anymore. I feel for those of you that have to deal with rumors and unprofessional behavior of coworkers. I once left a job whereon my last day people did not even say goodbye. A colleague from another department came to wish me well and commented on the situation. My response was that their behavior said more about them than it did about me.
    I had come to a point where I valued myself and would no longer be a doormat. Even with a written resignation no one really believed I was leaving. After a few weeks the medical director of the hospital asked me to lunch. We talked for about 4 hours but at the end of the day he agreed that trying to get me to return to that job was a mistake. I went on to work at a part time position where I enjoyed making my own hours and the start of a new career path. The high road can lead us to interesting places. We need to have faith in ourselves and the patience to let things play out without trying to force a situation.

    1. You are wise. Yes, there behavior said more about them and your statement that you must ‘value yourself’ are the key points of your article. I applaud you and am very glad you are happy. Warmly, Honey

  15. Timely article! I have passed it on. My friends and I have a toxic In our lives. She recognizes rude and behavior in others but not her own. We continue a distant friendship with her. Now she is sick and having been intolerant of others with illness, she may become more generous with symphony. I hope so.

    1. It is a shame that she get sick to learn but better late than never. You and your friends are kind to keep her in your lives even at a distance.She should have learned from observing her friends. Warmly, Honey

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