Happy Mother’s Day. Today, I celebrate you because you spent years of your life holding your children close, stroking their heads, helping them solve their problems, tucking them into bed, and telling them that all would be well. You asked for nothing in return except their love and respect. You were unselfish in your devotion. And what I find amusing is that mothers are only celebrated one day of the year! That leaves 364 days void of celebrating motherhood.

Though my mom and my grandmothers have passed away, I celebrate them every day for their unconditional love, values, and wisdom. I don’t believe that is the norm today with the social changes in families. On the other hand, I wish they were here to stroke my head, listen to my problems, and kiss me goodnight. We are always the children of our mothers and grandmothers, no matter our age. The environment created by our parents and the way we were mothered in childhood continues to shape our emotional well-being and self-perception into adulthood. The nurturing or lack thereof from our parents leaves a lasting impact, influencing how we care for ourselves and relate to others as adults.

WHY YOU DESERVE TO MOTHER YOURSELF

Most of us are empty nesters, have scattered families, and are without mothers to guide us. Therefore, this is an appropriate time to pause for quiet introspection and ask ourselves if we have allotted enough time to take care of our bodies and minds 365 days a year. Yes, sweet reader, I want you to start mothering yourself—make it an intentional act of self-love and respect.

“Make small and positive changes in areas of your life that you know will serve you. Choose self-kindness over self-judgment.” — Honey Good

For the past several months, due to circumstances beyond and within my control, I have woken every morning with a ‘worry knot’ in my stomach. This is a most uncomfortable feeling, especially when I used to wake each morning filled with joy. Part of self-mothering is to recognize and work with your emotions, allowing yourself to understand and process them as you heal and grow.

I want to share with you the new rituals that I have found helpful because we all worry, have life pressures to different degrees, and do not put ourselves first in the care department. As you read, take time to discover which self-care practices work best for you—your journey is unique, and finding what nourishes your body, mind, and spirit is essential.

 

Spring is the season we bring order into our homes and also the ideal moment for seeking order within. It is the perfect time of the year to confront our disruptive emotional clutter—a spring-forward correction—in our ordinary stressful lives.

Seeking order starts with self-love. Over time, you may realize or discover the importance of prioritizing all the things that contribute to your well-being—physical, emotional, and spiritual. I know many of you are turned off by the term, and I was, too, but on thoughtful reflection, it is the appropriate term to describe how a woman who nurtures herself can live a well-balanced life. This woman is not a narcissist because the definition is having an excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance.

I discovered the true meaning of self-love through my own personal experience and realized it is about honoring yourself and your needs, not selfishness.

How I Organized My Closet and Brought Peace to My Mind

WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF SELF-LOVE?

In my eyes, self-love is self-kindness. In other words, it is a woman’s feeling of her self-worth, humanity towards others, a strong feeling of gratitude, care of her body, and a positive attitude toward challenges. It is patience—being patient with oneself as a person on the journey of self-mothering—along with forgiveness, a loving heart toward herself and others, and, lastly, self-acceptance. Self-love is unique to each person, and every person’s journey to self-acceptance is individual.

When a woman can package these ingredients in her head, she has created self-love. I find this definition of self-love the opposite of a narcissistic woman.

HOW DO WE CREATE THIS WOMAN?

Seek ways to be kind to yourself. Instead of berating yourself, think about what you have achieved lately or the difficult decision you successfully made that raised your feelings of self-respect. Forgive yourself for past mistakes; take them as positive lessons learned. Make small and positive changes in areas of your life that you know will serve you. Choose self-kindness over self-judgment.

Each morning when you arise, take a small amount of time to reflect on how you will be kind to yourself during the day. Then, set your daily intentions. It is hard and uncomfortable, but starting this daily ritual will become more and more natural as time goes by. Before you know it, you will be able to become a woman who applauds herself. Remember to mother ‘the you within you.’ It is okay to be our own caregiver. The process of self-mothering is truly an ongoing journey of re mothering yourself, nurturing your growth and healing over time.

I suggest writing a letter to yourself. Take the pillars I mentioned above and write down your thoughts. Be purposeful and mindful. Mindfulness helps us tune into our true feelings and thoughts. It is important to stay focused on your self-mothering journey. Writing allows you to speak and talk kindly to yourself, and to reframe your story in a more compassionate light. Journaling can also help you identify and heal your wounded child and address unmet needs that may still affect you today.

After you have completed your letter, ask yourself, “What did you find most powerful, pros and cons, in your letter? Have you changed your thoughts about the meaning of self-love? Do you understand that self-love is a powerful tool to make each day a little brighter and you a little wiser? What do you want to work on with enthusiasm instead of feeling guilty?

If you need support, consider sharing your journey with a friend for additional encouragement and understanding.

How to Become Authentically You This Spring

THE ART OF SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

One of the most loving acts of self mothering is learning the art of setting healthy boundaries. As women, we are often taught to put others’ needs before our own, sometimes at the expense of our emotional and physical well-being. But true self compassion means recognizing that your own needs matter just as much as anyone else’s. Setting healthy boundaries is not about shutting people out; it’s about honoring your sense of self, your body, and your soul.

Healthy boundaries allow you to protect your energy and focus on what truly nourishes you. This might mean saying no to commitments that drain you, or being clear about what you are and are not comfortable with in your relationships. For many adults, especially those who experienced unmet emotional needs in childhood, it can feel challenging to assert your own needs. You may have learned to put others first, or to ignore your own feelings. But self care includes learning to listen to your inner voice and acting with self belief.

On this Mother’s Day, give yourself permission to set boundaries that support your self worth and emotional needs. Take time to reflect on what feels right for you—whether it’s spending time with supportive friends, enjoying healthy food that nourishes your body, or simply allowing yourself space to rest. Remember, self mothering is an ongoing process, and it’s okay to seek support from loved ones or a therapist as you practice this new way of being. By setting healthy boundaries, you create more fulfilling relationships and a deeper sense of compassion for yourself and others.

MINDFULNESS AND PRESENCE

Self mothering also means becoming your own safe haven—a place where you can return to yourself with kindness and care, no matter what life brings. Mindfulness and presence are powerful tools for nurturing your emotional and physical well-being. When you practice being present in the moment, you give yourself the gift of truly listening to your feelings, your body, and your soul.

Simple practices like meditation, deep breathing, or even a quiet walk in nature can help you tune into your emotional needs and create a sense of calm. These moments of presence allow you to respond to yourself with compassion, just as a loving mother would comfort a small child. If you carry the wounds of childhood or have ever felt emotionally neglected, mindfulness can help you begin to heal by reminding you that you have the ability to nurture and support yourself.

On Mother’s Day, focus on being present for yourself. Notice how you feel, what your body needs, and what brings you a sense of peace. Self care is not just about what you do, but how you do it—with intention, patience, and self compassion. By making mindfulness a part of your daily life, you strengthen your relationship with yourself and create a foundation of emotional safety that you can return to, again and again.

CREATING A SELF-CARE ROUTINE THAT NOURISHES YOU

Mothering yourself means making your own needs a priority and creating a self-care routine that truly nourishes you—body, mind, and spirit. Self care includes more than just the occasional treat; it’s about building daily habits that support your self love, self worth, and overall well-being.

Start by tuning into what brings you joy and energy. Maybe it’s spending time in nature, reading a favorite book, or exploring a creative hobby. Don’t forget the basics: getting enough sleep, moving your body in ways that feel good, and choosing nutrient dense food that supports your health. These small acts of taking care of yourself add up, helping you feel more vibrant and resilient in your daily life.

Remember, you are the expert on your own needs. As an adult, you have the power to make your own decisions about what supports your well-being. Self mothering is about honoring those needs without guilt or apology. On this Mother’s Day, consider what you can add—or let go of—in your self-care routine to better nurture yourself. Seek support from friends or loved ones if you need it, and allow yourself moments of rest and reflection. By focusing on self compassion and nurturing, you create a life that feels good from the inside out, and you model for others the beauty of true self love.

NOW IS YOUR TIME, MOTHERS!

You have exciting work to accomplish. It is the right time. You are over 50 and facing a new horizon that allows you the time to concentrate on yourself. The point of self-mothering is to nourish yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Self-mothering is not just about trying to lose weight or meet external expectations, but about caring for yourself as a whole person. Feed your intentions. Nourish yourself. Challenges can arise in the middle of the night or at unexpected times, and self-mothering helps you navigate them. By mothering yourself, you are better able to engage with the world and find your place in it. This is all good stuff. Make it work. I am smiling. Amen. Amen.

Happy Mother’s Day, dear moms!

What are some ways that you plan on mothering yourself? I’d love to hear about your plans in the comments!

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