Darlings, today we have Michelle Spadafora the founder of Faithful Workouts. She has been in the fitness industry for 35 years and is passionate about helping people get strong physically and spiritually. In this blog, she talks about self-love, and how we can take care of our beautiful bodies. Enjoy!
credit: Thought Catalog
The Hard Journey Of Self-Love
Self-love is a popular topic right now among women. It seems that women are longing to love themselves, but they are unable to successfully navigate the path to self-love. Many women find ourselves at this crossroads. Because of the culture we live in, self-love can oftentimes feel like an impossible task to accomplish. We all want to love ourselves and see the value we bring to the world. However, when we compare what we see in the mirror to the flawless and healthy young bodies gracing the covers of magazines and Instagram. Lies come pushing into our minds and we feel defeated. It is important to recognize your own worth and achievements, rather than letting comparisons diminish your self-esteem.
As a woman over 50 myself who has spent over 30-years in the health and fitness industry, I hear all too often how much women struggle with self-love. I see women question their worth because they ate unhealthy food. Or doubt their value because they don’t look at how they want to look in the mirror after working out. It breaks my heart. I remember a moment when I realized the importance of self-worth and how crucial it is to accept yourself as you are. Negative feelings and self-doubt can be overwhelming, and shame can trap us in negative self-perceptions, making it even harder to move forward. Overcoming shame is essential for fostering genuine self-love and acceptance. So today, my goal is to shed some light on what self-love truly is, so you can begin to live your life in self-love rather than in self-hate.
Our Thoughts Direct Our Actions
Our thoughts direct our actions, which in turn directs our life. Imagine if you stopped comparing yourself to others? What if you set goals based on what you and God value in your life, rather than on what the world tells you should be valued? Envisioning your future self and thinking about the future can motivate you to take positive actions and support your ongoing growth. What if when you look in the mirror, you give thanks for the wrinkle by your mouth because it reminds you of all the laughter and smiles you’ve had? God tells us we are loved, beautiful, and valuable. When we believe and accept that we are loved unconditionally in this way, and recognize that we are deserving of love and respect, it makes it so much easier to take that love and let it radiate throughout our own day.
By definition, self-love is “a regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.” When it comes to our well being and happiness, one of the best things we can do for our bodies and minds is to make our health a priority. If we don’t take care of the vessel we occupy, how can we ever expect to feel happy? Accepting your existence as you are, with all your imperfections, is a fundamental step toward self-acceptance and emotional well-being.
3 Effective Ways To Care For Your Overall Wellbeing
For over 30 years, I’ve helped women accomplish their goals on their journey to better health and loving themselves. There are many ways we can practice self-love, including forming healthy habits that support our emotional and physical well-being. Practicing self-love can also be done in small ways that add up over time, such as using a to do list to manage daily tasks and support self-care. However, people tend to overlook these simple self-care practices. Today, I want to share with you 3 effective ways that will help you care for your overall well being and boost your happiness.
#1 – Strength Train
I know this may surprise you as a way to love yourself, but when you understand how important it is to your overall health, you’ll want to jump into it in no time. Putting effort into your health and fitness is a powerful act of self-love, whether that’s putting on your workout clothes or setting aside time for yourself.
As women over 50 age, we become at risk for bone deterioration, osteoporosis, weight gain, brain fog, and injuries. However, by adding strength training to your exercise routine, you can help your bones grow stronger, and even reduce or slow the effects of osteoporosis! Taking care of your body through strength training is an important job—one that benefits you now and in the future. Strength training also increases your metabolism. As we age, we naturally lose muscle, and this plays a huge part in unwanted weight gain. When we lose muscle, our metabolism slows down, and the number on the scale goes up. When you strength train, you add lean muscle to your body. Since muscle burns more calories than fat, strength training ultimately increases the rate of your metabolism, which makes it easier to maintain and/or lose weight!
Strength training certain areas of the body to achieve a specific look is not the right way to strength train. It may be somewhat beneficial, but it will not yield the overall health benefits you really want to achieve as you age. Don’t focus on the look, focus on health! When you focus on strengthening your body from head to toe, your balance and posture improve, plus your joints become more stable. All of these improvements can reduce chronic pain that many women our age struggle with, as well as prevent injuries to our joints. Achieving your goals through strength training can also create happy memories that you’ll cherish as you reflect on your progress.
I want to challenge you to add strength training to your exercise routine. If you are new to strength training, you can join this free 5-day strength training challenge to help get you started. It includes important information and great workout videos for all fitness levels. Remember to laugh and enjoy the process, not just focus on results. Seeing your progress can make you smile and boost your confidence. I promise that after doing this, you will be amazed at how much stronger and confident you feel about your body.
#2 – Reduce Your Stress
I know that just hearing about how we need to reduce stress can make us feel more stressed (funny, isn’t it?), but please read on. Stress is damaging to all areas of our health. Long term stress takes energy from your immune system and digestive system, and this can make you prone to many chronic diseases like cancer, heart disease, and stroke… not good.
In my own life, a big step I took to decrease stress was letting go of my desire to please people. The truth is, we will never make everyone around us happy because everyone has different opinions on what happiness is. This is where self-love comes in. When we decide to love ourselves, we can begin to let go of the desire to please others. Accepting God’s love means you don’t have to be liked by everyone because you know you’ve got all the love you’ll ever need. Stop bending over backward to be liked by everyone, and you will be amazed at how fast your stress level decreases.
Incorporating fun activities into your routine, like trying new recipes or hobbies, can make stress reduction enjoyable. Spending time in nature, such as walking in a park or hiking, is a great way to relax and clear your mind. Listening to calming sounds, like gentle music or flowing water, can also help with stress relief. Remember, crying can be a healthy way to release built-up emotions and reduce stress. It’s also important to learn to forget past stressors and move forward, allowing yourself to heal and grow.
Many women feel stressed because our bodies don’t look and perform as they did in our twenties and thirties. But remember, aging is a privilege that many don’t get to experience. So, each day, week, month, or year we are given to live, remember that this is something to celebrate and be grateful for!
Take a moment to sit quietly in a peaceful space and reflect on your journey. As you do, admit your successes and growth openly—acknowledging how far you’ve come is a powerful act of self-love. Consider reading positive or inspirational material to nurture your mind and spirit. I also encourage you to write affirmations or journal your thoughts and feelings as a way to reinforce your self-acceptance and gratitude.
Like I said earlier, our thoughts make a huge difference in our lives. There is something very empowering about saying “I am loved and I love the woman I am becoming. I may not be as far along as I want to be, but I am proud of how far I’ve come!” I want to challenge you over the next week to look at yourself in the mirror and speak positive words and affirmations. By the end of the week, you will be amazed at how much more content you feel about who you are.
#3 – Sleep
As we age, our hormones fluctuate, and getting a restful night’s sleep can be a challenge. Many of us struggle with menopausal hot flashes and racing minds because of demanding careers, overstretched volunteer schedules, and concern for aging parents. All of these issues can make a peaceful night’s sleep almost impossible to come by.
While reducing stress can definitely help with achieving a peaceful night’s sleep, it’s also important to have a solid routine for your body so it can rest well once the day is over. For the next week, I want to challenge you to create a night time self-care ritual. Make your house a restful sanctuary by dimming the lights, tidying up, and setting a calming atmosphere before bed. Having a consistent bedtime routine also helps tremendously with getting a good night’s sleep. Try listening to calming songs or soothing playlists as part of your nighttime wind-down. Take a warm bath, read in bed, avoid screen time, pray, and try tucking yourself in around the same time each evening. Remember, just like the oxygen mask instructions on an airplane, you need to prioritize your own rest before you can effectively care for others. Whatever the routine, see how having one can help your sleep pattern.
Building Resilience and Confidence
Building resilience and confidence is a vital part of self love, especially as we navigate the ups and downs of life. Even celebrities like Justin Bieber have spoken openly about their struggles with negative self talk and the journey toward accepting themselves. It’s a reminder that everyone, no matter their background or success, faces moments of doubt. What matters is how we respond to those moments and the steps we take to care for our own needs.
One of the most powerful ways to build resilience is to practice self-compassion. When you catch yourself slipping into negative thoughts, pause for a few moments and gently challenge those beliefs. Instead of letting negative self talk take over, try to reframe your thoughts with kindness and understanding. For example, if you find yourself thinking, “I’m not good enough,” remind yourself of the good things you’ve accomplished and the positive qualities you bring to your relationships with friends and family. As Ed Sheeran, who co-wrote “Love Yourself” with Benny Blanco and Justin Bieber, has said, being kind to yourself is just as important as being kind to others.
Taking small steps outside your comfort zone can also help you build confidence. This might mean trying a new activity, writing down your thoughts in a journal, or simply spending a few moments each day focusing on your breath and practicing self care. These small acts can add up, helping you trust yourself more and feel stronger in the face of challenges. Remember, as Justin Bieber sings, “If you like the way you look that much, oh baby, you should go and love yourself.” It’s a playful yet powerful reminder to put your own needs first and to celebrate the unique person you are.
Surrounding yourself with positive influences is another key to building resilience. Whether it’s friends who lift you up, family members who support you, or online communities that share your values, the people you spend time with can have a big impact on your self-image. Choose to focus on relationships that bring out the best in you and inspire you to keep moving in the right direction.
Finally, remember that building resilience and confidence is a journey, not a destination. There will be days when you feel strong and days when you need a little extra compassion. That’s perfectly normal. The best things in life often come from unexpected places, as Benny Blanco once said, so stay open to new experiences and trust that you have the strength to handle whatever comes your way.
By practicing self love, challenging negative self talk, and prioritizing your own needs, you can build a more resilient and confident relationship with yourself. Take care of your physical and emotional well-being, cherish the support of friends and family, and remember to celebrate your progress—no matter how small. With time, patience, and a little bit of music for inspiration, you’ll find yourself moving forward with greater confidence and compassion every day.
A Healthy Self-Love Relationship
With these three tips, it’s my hope you can practice acts of self-love. A healthy self-love isn’t selfish or self-centered. Setting boundaries is essential to protect your energy, time, and emotional well-being. Respecting yourself is a key part of self-love, as it helps you maintain those boundaries and honor your needs. Striving for unconditional love toward yourself is an ideal that fosters acceptance and growth. Remember, self-love is a universal human need—it’s part of what makes us human. Fear can be a major obstacle to self-love, but by acknowledging and working through your fears, you can move toward greater self-acceptance. Only you can take responsibility for your self-love journey, and it starts with small, intentional steps. At this stage of your life my friend, you deserve it!
If you are looking for additional help on your journey to better health we offer an online membership that includes an app. You can log in to access our resources, which will help you to bring health to your body and soul! www.faithfulworkoutsplan.com
Do you feel you have a healthy relationship with self-love? Let us know in the comments below. We want to hear from you!
Michelle Spadafora is the founder of Faithful Workouts. She has been in the fitness industry for 35 years and is passionate about helping people get strong physically and spiritually. She loves to exercise and cook, and even more so, she loves talking about Jesus and helping others come to know His truth and love. Faithful Workouts is her happy place because it combines her passions into one program. She is married to Jeff, the mom of 3 kids and 3 dogs!
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