I’ve shared the story before about how, several years ago, I hosted a small group of women at my home – all over 50 – and was shocked to discover that many of them felt that, with age, they had become “invisible.”
One of my girlfriends mentioned a friend of hers moved away from her home in Manhattan to a small community because, age-wise, she felt INVISIBLE!
A bouncy, popular and educated girlfriend responded, “I typically feel totally loved by my family but when we were together over the Thanksgiving holiday this year, I felt INVISIBLE!” She went on to explain that she felt invisible because of her age.
And then the other ladies talked about the word invisible, all saying that they felt somewhat the same. I listened and listened hard.
The truth is that, at any age, we can feel unseen. We are women, we nourish, we give life, and often, we are satisfied sitting on the sidelines making sure that those we love are healthy and happy.
And that’s ok, we can do all of the above as long as we remember not to stray too far off the path of self-care, self-value and self-importance.
At 50, you are more vibrant, visible, and vital than ever. You are a sage with a wealth of knowledge and a “village” of people who benefit from all that you are.
I SEE YOU for exactly how valuable a human being you have bloomed into. Now, let’s make sure YOU see you too.
Step 1: Stay Active
I don’t mean just physically active, I mean to take part in life! Exercise your right to try new things. Choose new adventures and go outside of your comfort zone. How hard is this? It’s the easiest thing you’ve ever been asked to do.
Set a time frame, make it once a week, once a month or once a quarter and pick something you have never experienced before, and then just do it! It could be seeing a play, it could be going rock climbing or simply trying a new food.
Pssst: As a fringe benefit, if you stay active and try new experiences with your partner, studies have shown that this will increase romance and passion in even the most long-term of relationships.
Step 2: Pursue Your Passions
Speaking of passion… as a visible woman, I have maintained a relevant lifestyle, which means being connected to interesting people, places and being “involved in the now.”
I wear many hats. For instance, I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, girlfriend, world traveler, student, writer, and owner of an online company. I work at being a relevant woman.
The most significant part of owning a company after 50 has been the emotional impact. Writing for Honey Good has been a heartwarming experience. I have female friends all over the world who interact with me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn, and on my site, HoneyGood.com. These interactions provide me with daily gratification.
It is not too late, as long as there is a breath in you, to pursue your passions. What makes your heart sing? What activities make time FLY by? Go after them! Do more of them. You deserve a daily life full of excitement and joy. It will keep you visible.
Step 3: Acknowledge Your Beauty
I’m about to get very real with you. There was a time that women of a certain age we’re not seen as beautiful. While this was always incorrect, there was a time that – to society at large – it was true. But it is not “true” anymore! Society’s view of beauty has changed. Now 50 is the new 40, old is the new bold and age is just a number.
I don’t mean to imply that you ever needed society to tell you that you were beautiful in order for it to be so, but there’s no longer much of an excuse not to embrace the beauty that is yours.
Wear lipstick if you wish, grow your hair long or cut it shockingly short, let it go gray if you desire. There are no rules, just the feeling that is so right that you are beautiful. The beauty that defines you – and me – comes from within. Take pride in how you look, take pride in how your face has changed and matured along with that stunning mind of yours. Acknowledge your beauty and let it be seen.
Step 4: Keep Connected
Nothing matters more. Human connection is the center of everything and the one essential element in staying visible after 50, and at every age.
And if you are short on connections, make more. Join a book club, go to church, find a women’s group or join an online dating app if you are single. Things change in this life, relationships change, some grow close and some fall apart.
Yet, through it all, we are not lost because we have the ability to meet new people, make new friends and love again. Stay connected and you will stay visible.
Step 5: Refuse To Be Unseen
In my mind, age does not equal decline. It offers opportunity. Children are married and settled, grandchildren are progressing in their own lives, many women are retired and have time to smell the roses, many have reached financial freedom, and most are mentally and physically healthy.
And so, this is my advice to any woman at any age who finds herself feeling invisible: When you are going through “an invisible passage” of life, it is up to you to find your personal gateway to feeling visible.
It has been several years since the word invisible entered my thoughts, all because of an unexpected conversation. I am glad it did because it opened my mind to the positive word that I am now focused on… visible. It made me ask myself, “What is next?” I am living into my answer every day. I hope you will, too.
Do You Feel Visible or Invisible?
I want to hear — and connect with you — about your thoughts on this topic!
How do you stay connected and embrace new opportunities? Are you willing to try one, a few, or ALL of my 5 steps to stay visible after 50?
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