Let’s talk about relationships during lockdown…
If I was asked today to interpret in one sentence my mood over the last eleven months on the planet of Elsewhere, I would say, “For almost one year I have forlorn living an isolated and fearful life on an artificial planet. And, I don’t like anything artificial.”
You know that no one likes to have their life controlled. I along with other normal thinking people are fully aware that a combination of two outside forces, man and disease, are continuously controlling our lives. Therefore living on the planet of Elsewhere is radically abnormal.
For many months I have been forlorn because of the constraints and fears of dealing with life in Elsewhere. That is, until last week when my mind began to channel several of my life experiences that took place over the last eleven months. It started with a phone call to a garden shop in Connecticut and ended with a taxi cab ride.
How it all Changed
I phoned the White Flower Farm to order an Amaryllis plant because my sister-in-law gave my mother one and I was fascinated with the growing process. I had never met the woman who answered the phone. When we hung up we had found common ground and a friendship began to blossom.
And then, there was my conversation that took place with Solomon, a taxi cab driver. These two ‘by chance’ meetings put the past eleven months of life in Elsewhere in perspective. And, for the first time in months, I was able to untangle and decode many of the feelings hibernating in my mind. Fortunately, I came to realize that behind my forlorn feeling was still thankfully a woman who still found daily joy.
I have thought long and hard about the pros and cons of masks. I do wear a mask outside our home and I wear a mask inside our home when we have visitors. As well, I wear a mask because I have been frightened into covering my face for my sake and the sakes of others. I comply and make the best of a bad situation. It works. And, it will work for you, too.
Decoding Who is Under a Mask
For instance, when I was conversing with someone and we were both behind our masks I was not always certain how they really felt because person-to-person conversations revolve around facial expressions. For all I knew they were frowning when they told me how happy they were to see me!
One day it dawned on me that I could decode a person’s real feelings if I pretended I was talking to that person on the phone! I began to use my sense of hearing during a person-to-person conversation. I began to listen hard to their voice and the inflections in their sentences instead of looking at a face. As well, I am more aware of a person’s body language! It works.
Design Your Mask to Show Your Style
I purposely wear masks that reveal my personality and my style. Why? Because a woman’s style is her biography. My daughter Jenny who ‘gets me’ makes me masks that depict who I am. Many are colorful, many are jeweled with crystals or pearls. Some of my masks have scenes that mark who I am, or how I feel about a topic; from nature to entertainment to my love of America.
On another high note, my masks provide my face with coverage from the cold weather in my beautiful Chicago. And, last but really first, the value of wearing a mask may protect me from COVID-19 and the possibility of death.
I suppose these positive feelings were decoding as they mulled around for months in my head. Obviously, my subconscious thoughts were positive because after months I have some answers on how to deal with my forlorn feelings.
Isolation vs. Relationships
The worst part of this pandemic for yours truly is fear and isolation. Without people in my life, I would starve. With the fear factor, I shy away from public places and outings. It is a double-edged sword. I will tell you I have found my way. And, so can you.
If you are starving for people in your life, reach out to someone you know to rekindle that friendship. Or, make amends with someone who is dear to you or nourish a relationship that needs a sprinkle of soul food. Use email, FaceTime, Zoom, text, and Facebook for communication. And, if you want to reach out further, take classes on Zoom. There are a million. You have to use your energy even if you feel forlorn. Procrastination will make matters worse. Believe me, over the past several months I wanted to procrastinate but I forced myself, even if I had to get up in the middle of the night. And, looking back, this has paid me back.
Worthwhile relationships are the center of happiness. Make no mistake about that sentence. There are many types of positive relationships, some lasting less than 30-minutes yet you hold on to them forever.
I am a proponent of the necessity of relationships. I am enamored and joyful when people of all ages share their experiences. And, remember casual relationships can be as valuable as close ones. Therefore, darling, go fearlessly and listen to your gut, your heart.
The Story of Dawn
A warm and open personality will open doors that have infinite possibilities. As I mentioned above, I met Dawn by chance over the phone when I called to order an Amaryllis plant. We spoke for about thirty minutes. It was a fruitful conversation. Less than a week later, I received an Amaryllis plant in the mail with a note:
I enjoyed our conversation yesterday. You wanted an Amaryllis but did not place an order.
This is a gift from me. : )
Your friend at White Flower Farm,
I was so touched. I am so touched. And, I will always be touched by Dawn’s beautiful gesture.
Thank Goodness for Solomon
Solomon drove me and my Ultimate Concierge to an appointment. Solomon and I began to talk and he told me he was awarded by the city: a medallion as the driver of the year. I was so happy for him and showed it. Before we left the taxi he gave me his phone number to call if we ever needed him.
I arrived at the desk for my appointment. They asked me for identification. I looked for my wallet. It was gone. It was in Solomon’s taxi. I was able to phone him because I had his phone number! We had made a relationship in our short ride together. He said it was a miracle he had given me his phone number. I knew better… there are no accidents.
People Need People
Remember darling, we all need people in our lives. I added Dawn and Solomon to my life. They have no idea how important our meetings meant to me. I am no longer as forlorn because I have so many wonderful people in my life. I am really not isolated and I am ever so grateful.
How are you fairing during lockdown? Are you able to maintain or keep your relationships with others going, or are you struggling? Let us know in the comments at the bottom of this page.
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