Do you know how to pick good partners?

January 9, 2018 Published by
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Choosing partners in marriage, friendship and work is crucial to our happiness and success. I decided to muse on the topic of partners because of a phrase I fell in love with while watching the movie,”The Shape of Water.”

“You are all around me.”

The sentiment behind those five words fits my partnership with my husband, Sheldon Good, perfectly. No matter where I am he pops into my mind for one reason or another. “I wonder what Shelly would advise me to do?” “I wonder where Shelly is right now?” Or when I play my French music in my car my thoughts turn to romance and Shelly. We are loving partners, supportive and positive toward each other; we smooth each other’s road. For better or for worse, he is “all around me.” That is my definition of a healthy and powerful partnership.

I have tucked away, in my memory bank, several phrases that hit me in one way or another. Here are three on how to choose positive partners in marriage, friendship, and work.

The importance of choosing the right partner(s) in marriage, friendship and work

  • “The most important decision you will make in your life is who you choose to marry.”

On my many walks with my wise friend, Carolyn, on the beach in Honolulu, lessons were learned. I was in my 40s. She was a vital and visible woman in her 50s. On one of our walks, she talked about the advice she gave her son on marriage. “Remember, Brent, the most important decision you will make in your life is who you choose to marry.” When my daughters were looking for Mr. Right I passed on Carolyn’s teachings and I am still passing on her message to my grandchildren, my grands. I agree with her wisdom on the vital importance of choice of mate and how it can make or break your life; make you wildly happy or wildly miserable. When faced with important decisions choice becomes the important word.

  • “You have to work at establishing friendships.”

On another walk, she advised me on how to make friends and keep friendships alive. To a degree, we can call our friends, our partners. Her advice: “You have to work at establishing friendships and continue to work at deepening the friendship. This takes hard work.” I learned later on that working hard is worthless if the woman does not “mirror” me. If you meet a woman and you click you will want to develop a partnership because you mirror one another in values, goals, and lifestyle.

  • “It is not what you know it is who you know.”

For those of you who own a company, work at a company or volunteer your services, establishing friendships and partnerships is the key to your happiness. A friendly workplace is so important. Friendships at work matter, darlings. Socializing deepens bonds at work; the job becomes positive.

When I was a volunteer I joined a group because I supported the charity and enjoyed the women. The women were as important to me as the charity. If you enjoy the charity and not the other volunteers, leave. There are other charities. You are giving your time, dedication and money.

At HoneyGood.com, there are three women besides myself. Each one of these women is more than my co-worker. Their skills are important but just as important is that I feel we are partners. We have built a powerful camaraderie; a fellowship, team spirit, and companionship. I can count on them. I can be open with them. I want to share with them. I want them to be happy. They want the same for me. This is how the workplace should be.

If you are unhappy at work, ask yourself, why. If it is your fault, change. If it is the job or the workplace begin to search for new opportunities. This will take work. Put out feelers by asking your good friends. Remember, “ It is not what you know, it is who you know.” Don’t sit back and do this alone.

We all need connections. We all want to lead positive productive lives. The power of our partners, first being our soul mate, then our close friends and family and finally the people we work with on the job or in the charitable community provide us with optimism. They really matter. Love them. Compliment them. Appreciate them. Be their loyal and powerful partner.

I owe deep gratitude to my husband, Sheldon Good, to my grandchildren, to dear friends, you know who you are, and to Cheryl, Ines and Susan, my comrades in arms at Honey Good.

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12 Comments

  • Sharron says:

    Dear Honey, I am still having difficulty with understanding your belief that a person must “mirror” you in order to become a good and close friend or partner. Personally, I love and look forward to befriending someone who is somewhat different from me… as it offers an opportunity to possibly learn and experience interesting things in life… and perhaps something other than what I am used to or have any knowledge of. It is my understanding that that is what allows us, and enables us to grow and to learn to respect and appreciate our unique differences. Thank you for considering my feelings about this.

    • Terry says:

      I think I agree with Sharron. My mother always said “The world would be a boring person if everyone were exactly the same.” She used this with regard to different races, financial backgrounds, cultures, style of clothing, etc.

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      I agree with you 100%. What I was trying to get across about a friend mirroring you is that you should share the same values. I said it is important to add the ‘spice’ (new ideas, knowledge, activities, etc.)too. Our feeling ‘mirror’ one other to a tee. Warmly, Honey

  • LuAnn says:

    Love it!????. My thoughts on this are, “For a good marriage not only do you have to love a person, which is easy, but you must like them”. Liking them can be the difficult part.

    • Deanna Lamoreux says:

      That was my mother’s mantra too “the most important decision you will make is who you will marry.” She knew firsthand as she had two unhappy marriages. I must have heeded her words as I had perfect husband and three daughters. As my husband was dying the nurse asked his name he answered “Jim & Deanna.” That was our story for almost 50 years. I am passing today’s honey good to young friend Julia making this very important decision for her life.

      • Susan "Honey" Good says:

        I am glad you had such a love story with your husband and sorry for your loss. There are no words. Glad you are passing my story along to a young woman. It is a gift. Warmly, Honey

    • Terry says:

      I completely agree! I both love AND like my husband!!!

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      I agree you cannot love a person unless you like them.Warmly, Honey

  • Susan says:

    Hello,
    After nearly 50 years of marriage I have found it is the deep core values that are mirrored. My sweet husband and I are very different people in personality, temperament and interests yet our values have been the glue that allows us to love and appreciate our differences.
    Fifty years! Good grief what happened?

    Love to all,
    Susan

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      I love every word you wrote. I agree.We have to have the same values. The rest is the spice. Warmly, Honey

  • Terry says:

    I think I agree with Sharron. My mother always said “The world would be a boring person if everyone were exactly the same.” She used this with regard to different races, financial backgrounds, cultures, style of clothing, etc.

    • Susan "Honey" Good says:

      Yes, for sure. We need a partner that add spice to our life but mirrors us with the same values. Warmly, Honey

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