The Buzz: Articles that made me think this week

Darlings, this week I have come across so many articles that I would like your opinion on. Therefore, I’m going to be asking a lot of questions in “The Buzz.” Two friends shared some interesting articles with me on aging. The first was on heirlooms and handing down valuable items to your children.

It is expected that as baby boomers age and downsize their children will not want their heirlooms. The New York Times did a piece titled “Aging Parents With Lots of Stuff, and Children Who Don’t Want It” in August and it was fascinating. Parents are having a hard time getting their children interested in taking their china, crystal, and silverware as they are downsizing. I have several cherished family heirlooms and I have given things away to my own family. If you have downsized were there family heirlooms that you couldn’t part with or did you have a hard time convincing your children to take them? What did you do with it?

The second article a friend shared was an opinion piece in the Washington Post “In search of a word that won’t offend ‘old’ people.” It was written by a professor of psychology at Stanford. It made the point that people in their 60s, 70s, and 80s don’t feel “old” so they don’t associate the word “old” with themselves and it makes having a conversation about aging a challenge. She wrote: “We need a term that aging people can embrace.” It got me thinking “What words do I like to refer to myself and my age with?” I love “grande dame.” So as women of a certain age what do you like to be called? The author comes to the conclusion that she likes the term “perennials.” How do you feel about that?

The new year is a great time to reflect on old habits and see if it’s time for a change a routine. One thing that I don’t think I could part with is my quiet mornings. I like to take time to think with my cup of coffee and it turns out I am not the only one! Oprah told Vogue that quiet “me” time in both the morning and the evening are key to a better life. She takes 20 minutes in the morning and the evening for just herself.

And finally, in the Huffington Post I read about something I had honestly never heard of before: Baby showers for grandparents! It turns out friends and loved ones sometimes through new grandmothers baby showers and gift them with essentials they will need when the baby is at their home. I love celebrations, but I’m not sure how to feel about this one, and it turns out it has been quite hotly debated in etiquette circles for several years. Read the story and tell me what you think!

  1. I’ve spent the last few years gently telling my 82 yr old father I didn’t need his (or my mother’s) prize possessions. What they loved and collected may or may not be of worth to me or anyone else. It’s a crap shoot. I said to him, “Dad – if I died, would you want my makeup collection?” He just laughed, and I think it made him think about his possessions and what they might mean to others. We always want to believe what we collect is of some value to someone else. There are some things, like my mother’s geneology work; just knowing what she put into it long before online access means something to ~me.~

    Offending old people? – please, I am not a Generation X or millennial, I don’t care.

    Quiet time is earned and has nothing to do with age.

    Baby showers for grandparents is a ridiculous idea and created by those who have little to do, or feel entitled. If a grandparent is going to be a full time caregiver to the new family addition, then maybe the shower thing should be reconsidered to value the person responsible for the raising of the child.

  2. It’s all relative. To a young child m, 3p can seem old. To a teen, 45 is old. To a young parent, 55 is old. I am now 75 and that friend is old and it’s okay. I gave been referred as my older friend and that’s okay. We are what we are. Embrace it.

  3. I wish to be called an AGEIST, changing the way society thinks of seniors.

    When I became a grandparent for the first time (my sons had their babies one week apart!), my friends gave me blankets to use at my home and picture frame that said, “When a baby is born, so is a. Grandmother “. No shower.

    My daughter in laws show no interest in my China or the tons of silver pieces that I was given by my mother in law over the years. For my wedding she gave me a complete coffee tea service in pure silver. I have never used it in 44 years. I just never entertained or was part of a “ladies club”. My parents were more practical and gave us money to start a future!

    1. Please no showers for grandparents. We have enough stuff as it is. I suggest going to the parents house if you need that stuff.

  4. I’m 80 and not old – I love the term perennials which could be applied to middle aged and up! Descriptive terms unfortunately do change how others perceive you, that’s why i never tell my age.

    I agree with Karen regarding baby showers for grandparents however Charolotte’s friends gifts showed they were thinking of her and the changes she will be experiencing if she’s lucky.

    Taking some me time to be grateful is beneficial, whether it’s in the am, pm or both.

    Love your blog!

  5. I’m 70 and don’t feel old and most people don’t believe I look my age.. but I embrace the blessing of celebrating each Birthday, after all , what’s the alternative?

    I don’t believe in grand mother showers…I have 5 grands and loved celebrating at my daughter in laws showers, their joy… several good friends attended those showers with me … but I would have never agreed to a shower for myself… a lunch with friends or a card but this is the moms time. I can see if a grandmother is going to watch a baby full time,
    And she doesn’t have the means to buy what she needs that friends get together and get her the essentials..

  6. Thank you, Honey, for your insightful articles and for giving us a space to share ideas on life over 50.

    I like the term perennial. I’d be happy with that.

    As for antiques, my grandmother was surprised and upset than none of the grandchildren wanted her silverware and mink coat. I’m her oldest at 64, and I finally told her I would love to have them, She wanted so much to pass something along that they would value, and I gave her that satisfaction. What I’ll do with them and my parents’ antiques is still a dilemma. I have my own things I doubt my daughters will want. I shared that NY Times article with my kids and friends.

    In my multi-generational community, grandparents post our temporary needs on the community Facebook page and someone usually offers to lend a high chair, car seat, or baby bed while the grandkids are in town. If you have something like this, it’s great

    1. I am glad you did that for your grandmother. Kindness counts. That is great about the community FB page. Great caring idea. Warmly, Honey

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